Am I the only person with no close friends?

[barbie007]

I've been living in this area for 7 years and I can honestly say I haven't got a close friend or group of friends. I met a few other mums through my antenatal group and became quite friendly with 2 women who have moved away.I'm still friends with 2 other mums from this group, but they only include me in their Wednesday coffee mornings. I've tried but the friendship doesn't seem to go beyond this.They had a weekend away with a couple of other friends but they didn't include me. I found out on fb!!

I don't work so my only point of contact is through mums at school. I have coffees here and there but nothing meaningful. If I didn't chat to people during the school run I could easily go without talking to anyone all day. Should I just toughen up and realise there are many women out there who feel like this?

yup Mumbling, thats pretty much how it went! I now have checked trousers, matching bow tie and braces, a box of face paints ,an array of ballon animals in my repertoire and plaited pig tails. I'll be 38 next month. Sad innit?

I live abroad in a country where people are naturally VERY reserved and private and downright unfriendly, and all have their own family and school friends and absolutely don't need or want any new friends. So it was hard having no family or old friends and having a toddler and being pregnant and it being dark for 6 months of the year and 2 metres of snow...although now after 3 years I find that I have dug up some of the best people i've ever met, just by persisting in being open and myself, and not worrying if people reacted strangely to an invitation...The right people will respond positively to you eventually but forget about finding them for the time being, just concentrate on doing things you enjoy, give your time to things, notice if someone needs help etc. It helps to have collegues, even if it is through a few hours voluntary work.

Me too I have a 20mo ds, have really tried to make friends at toddler group etc but I find people just don't warm to me. In other words the friendship never progresses.

I find myself wondering about this too- I have what I'd consider a 'smattering' of friends from all situations (some are old school friends, some from Uni time, some are friends of my Mum's, some are from work) but no absolute 'best' mate.

I figure it's just how it worked out- moving hundreds of miles away, combined with growing apart from old friends, taking essentially two years out of my life to care for my Mum... Friendships take time and shared interests, and I don't have the time and no-one has my interests....

And I don't do fb.

The way friendship is portrayed you're one step on the road to serial-killer-dom and soft furnishings made of human skin if you don't have masses of friends... but such is life...and I figure if I were that unhappy about it I'd do something about it all, but I quite like my life, tbh!

Don't have any particularly useful advice really.
What about having other kids round to play after school then inviting the mum in for a chat/coffee when she comes to pick them up?

The only time I had lots of friends was when my children were pre-school and we used to get together for coffee at each others' houses.

I did a bit of self-analysis and realised a that I don't feel comfortable talking about myself and my feelings (prob due to upbringing and just the way I am). So obviously it is difficult for me to form close friendships. Am also not chatty- in fact the staff room waffle about what happened on X factor or Corrie used to drive me nuts.

So decided that I would stop fretting about friends and just get on without them. I do have one -- she can talk the hind legs off a donkey so I mostly just say yes and no which suits me fine.

If it is making you sad then you need to do something about that. I think depressed people give off a sort of anxious vibe which puts other people off. And without close friends you have noone to let off steam to.

I read alot of self help books, Louise Hays was one author. Some of these positive assertions do work and actually doing something about it makes it seem less of a problem. In fact I saw a counsellor a few months ago - I moved house so haven't been back - but that really helps to get things in proportion and gives another slant any problems. The other thing is to find something that you really like doing however self-indulgent and fill your spare time with that.

I have no really close friends.
I used to have some when I was 17 but then we had to move hundreds of miles away from where we were living. I spent the first couple of years feeling verylonely. I then met my now DH and we eventually got married and had a dc.
I then eventually met a couple of other mums who went to toddler groups but that friendship never came to anything and we drifted apart.
Then I spent a few more years feeling lonely and decided we needed to move back to my home town where I lived before.
Have now been back here 5 years and still have no friends but I have family nearby.
I think I have just accepted it now. but have spent many years feeling lonely and thinking I was missing something.
I don't think I am that bothered about it now.
I have found Mumsnet!

I'm a bit like Mimi - for various reasons have spent a lot of time feeling lonely but now I just accept it. I'm open to friendship but I don't think people are really interested in making new, 'proper' friends as they get older. Plus I seem to have the gift of unwittingly annoying people .
I meet up with the same group of people for an activity almost every week, and I'm sure the others would call me a friend, as I would them, but there's never any meeting up beyond this (not with me, anyway - although some of them are good friends with each other). I used to occasionally invite one or other of them round for a coffee, but it soon became clear they could take it or leave it - so now I don't bother.
I've done loads of evening classes over the year, and I appreciate learning skills and adult company, but nothing has ever come of it.
I now volunteer regularly, and again it's nice to have adult company, but no signs of anything more than that.
We've moved the DCs' schools a couple of times, and I suppose that has an impact - moved out of London where I had a few friends but everyone seemed to be transitory - then didn't quite fit in with the next two. Maybe if we'd gone straight to the primary DS2 is at now, in the first place, things might be different - but they are as are.
I'm shy but quite chatty, which maybe disconcerts people. Anyway, no, you're not the only one op.

Anyone in the Northants area?!

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All my close friends live flippin miles away. I have one or two nearby, sort of meet up once a month friends. I would love to be able to text a mate to come over for a glass of wine!

Billy no mates over here, I don't think people are prepared to make new friends as they get older! It's sad tho

I think it might change as you get older again though?

My mother made a lot of friends post-divorce (she was in her 40's). A lot of people came back on the friendship market as kids went off to school/family situations changed I think..