to not contact her first

[BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability]

...or is it being a tad playground-ish...?

A former, rather toxic friend of mine randomly got in contact last week, rang me, why hadnt I called her, it would be nice to catch up etc etc, and wanted to meet this week for coffee.

We havent spoken at all for about 2-3 years, and there was a little gap before that too. To give an idea of the background, we first became friends when we were both single, (but both met our DPs at around the same time), we'd go out a lot and as she was a single mum and I was working, I lent gave her a lot of money, or at least always picked up the tab. When I first moved in with DH, she didnt once visit our flat (in the city centre) in all the time we lived there, always wanted me to go to hers instead (she lived with her DP by then so it wasnt that she didnt want DPs around), she didnt seem to care about me so long as she was happy and her life easy. Always wanted me to call her, rather than her call me as well. So gradually I stopped contacting her, and she didnt contact me either.

I rang her this weekend, and she said she had a hangover as she had been drinking when she called. So that explains that at least.
We arranged to meet Tuesday. I had to cancel as DS was ill, so sent her a text, which she replied to.
Agreed we'd meet up today instead. But I havent heard from her all week or today, not a sausage.

AIBU to just leave it again? It seems a bit childish, but I got sick of being the one making the effort before and nothing seems to have changed...

I told DH I would give her another chance as it was a few years and maybe she'd grown up a bit. But AIBU to count this as her chance.
Btw there is no danger of her taking advantage of my money now I'm a SAHM. The sceptical part of me does wonder if this is why shes not making the effort...

What do you think MN jury?

Leave it. Why are you even troubling yourself about it? She just sounds like a bit of a pain and not worth the effort.

If it was still 3 years ago I would, I just wanted to give her a chance now some time has passed to see if she'd changed matured

So you were supposed to meet today, but you didn't actually arrange a time or place? If you did, then you would be UR to not turn up, if you didn't make specific arrangements and she hasn't been in touch, then you're not being UR to just leave it at that. Depends whether you actually want her as a (pretty unreliable) friend or not.

not worth the time or the effort

No wine, no time or place arranged for today. Well, I said I had to go into town at some time today, but that was it.

I'm thinking though, that if I did text her and say I wasnt going into town now, that puts it on me to arrange another time and place, as I'm the one cancelling, IYSWIM.
God, I'm really overthinking this I think!

Perhaps she is waiting for you to let her know where to meet? Althought I have to agree that really I think you are wasting your time with this person.

Just had a text asking if I can call her. Text back - no, i have no minutes.

The only reasonable reason I can think of to text someone to ask them to phone you, is that you think they might be busy at the time you are texting, and you are giving them the ability to pick a convenient moment for the conversation. An unreasonable reason would be that they want you to pay for the call.

So, OP, she knows you're available to take her call - has she rung back running up her own phone bill yet?

Funnily enough where, no she hasnt...

My god I hate people who text me asking me to call them! Next time just don't even bother replying.