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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU - sorry, it's a bus thread, but it's nothing to do with prams/wheelchairs, I promise.

35 replies

everybodysang · 11/11/2011 13:06

Well, I might mention prams, but it's not actually about them.

Ok. I don't drive, get the bus quite a lot. There's a woman who gets on the bus at a very large supermarket which is about 20 minutes before I have to get off the bus. She is a very, very large lady (this is relevant, I promise - I'm not exactly a skinny girl myself). She seems to know all the bus drivers, and when she gets on the bus she stands right at the front, by the driver's cabin, leans on the front railing on the front window and chats to them. She gets off after me, not sure how much further on.

It makes me a bit cross that she chats loudly to them for the journey, I'd rather the bus driver was concentrating on the road, and there is a sign that says 'don't stand forward of this point and distract the driver', or something to that effect, but if the bus driver chooses to chat to her then there's not much to be done about it.

There are two actual problems. One is that it's really quite difficult to get on and off the bus past her, and I can't see why the drivers don't tell her to move. I'm often travelling with baby DD, but I've always got her in a sling so it's not too difficult for me but I feel sorry for those with pushchairs/shopping trollies who have to negotiate around her. She's often got lots of bags of shopping with her although if there's space she does put them in the luggage rack. If there isn't space they are just at her feet.

The other problem is that now that it's dark early in the evening, it's really hard to see where the bus stop is out of the (usually quite grubby) windows. I live in a smallish, not terribly well lit village so you have to be on the ball to press the bell at the right point. If I missed my stop it would mean travelling on to the next village and then a 50 minute wait for the bus back, or a 45 minute walk in the dark along a busy road with no pavement. So I don't fancy that. Obviously the front window is nice and clean, so I (and I imagine others) look out the front to see where we are. Problem is, if she is there, she really is so very large that it's very hard to see out of the window. That sounds awful, I'm not trying to make a comment on her being a big lady, it just genuinely is difficult to see where we are.

I have inwardly seethed about this for 18 months, since we moved to the village. It's worse again now because of the clocks going back and it being dark earlier.

My question is - would I BU to write a letter of complaint to the bus company? And if I did, what on earth would I say? I don't want to get the bus drivers into trouble, they're all really nice...

Apologies for the long and frankly quite petty rant. But I wonder if IABU? Or is this something you would be annoyed by?

OP posts:
everybodysang · 14/11/2011 16:02

Kladdkaka - why do you think that? I know I was being mean when I mentioned her weight in one of my replies, and I did apologise for that, I was just feeling a bit cross but it was uncalled for.
The thing is that I thought about complaining last winter when I was struggling to try and get off at the right bus stop in the dark while heavily pregnant, but didn't because I kept thinking that maybe the bus drivers were the only people she got to speak to. I don't want to be a horrible person about it. But the more I have thought about it, the more I think that it's a genuine safety issue.

OP posts:
JamieComeHome · 14/11/2011 16:05

I think the talking to the driver thing is necessary and sufficient reason to write a letter. It would worry me.

Tripping over the bags might make your point. Or alternatively you could say "excuse me please" in a "get out of the way" sort of tone.

I hope this isn't a fat rant. Thin people are just as capable of being thoughtless.

JamieComeHome · 14/11/2011 16:06

Xpost - OP. You may well be right about her needing someone to talk to. It's a tricky one

AnotherEmptyNest · 14/11/2011 16:09

Our buses in Berkshire have notices discouraging passengers from standing forward of a particular point and telling us not to talk to the driver (although most of us say 'Thank you' when we disembark). It's quite obvious that it's for safety reasons. Your fat woman why call her a 'lady'? has no conception of the difficulties she causes. I doubt that you are the only complainant. What about one or two passengers' names and addresses as witnesses?

everybodysang · 14/11/2011 16:11

I just want to say again - it's honestly not a fat rant. I mentioned her weight in the original post because I felt it genuinely was relevant, as it's honestly quite tricky to negotiate around her when you have to get off the bus as she is a very, very large lady.
If I was going to start a fat rant, it would be at myself for having eaten a Belgian bun today even though I'm supposed to be trying to watch my own weight as I am still a bit of a blimp post-birth

OP posts:
JamieComeHome · 14/11/2011 16:15

yes, sorry for mentioning it again. I'm with you, OP

BupcakesandCunting · 14/11/2011 16:17

Bus wankers.

everybodysang · 14/11/2011 16:18

Bupcakes that's a whole other thread, surely?

OP posts:
ExquisiteCake · 14/11/2011 16:25

Write a letter and make it clear that if there was a fire, she is blocking one of the entrances and should sit the fuck down.

Tiredmumno1 · 14/11/2011 16:30

Grin @ bupcakes and everybody

Op yanbu send them the letter, stupid woman (not you op)

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