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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to NOT rush to the school......................

31 replies

Acchhhoooo · 11/11/2011 11:17

DS (age 9) had a suspected asthma attack in Sept 2008 where he was kept in hospital overnight on a nebuliser. Basically he had trouble breathing, he also had a bad cold and a temperature. I took him to the OoHs surgery and they referred him to A&E who diagnosed asthma (probably because he also has excema). He also has very large tonsils which the hospital will not remove as he does not get throat infections but we think this may affect his breathing if he has a viral infection rather than 'asthma'.

Anyway, in the 3 years since then, he has never had any other 'attacks'. I had the asthma diagnosis put in the schools medical records and left a inhaler with them which he has never used, just in case.

So this morning the school ring me to say that DS cannot go on a school trip to a farm as they do not have a inhaler for him. They wanted me to immediately get to the school with one. I have a baby and we live 15 mins drive from the school and I had just got back from the school run. I say that he is fine, has never had an issue with asthma for the past 3 years, is not allergic to animals and should have an inhaler at school anyway. If not, they must have disposed of it without my knowledge. I admit I did have to speak firmly to them until they agreed with me Blush.

Now I feel a bit shit and they have put an irrational worry on my mind that DS will have an asthma attack out of the blue today and it will be my fault because I did not take the inhaler in. Before the phone call, it never entered my mind!

WIBU? Whta would you have done?

OP posts:
Kayzr · 11/11/2011 11:20

I'd want to know where the inhaler is you gave to the school.

But personally I would have gone to the school with an inhaler. It wouldn't be worth the risk IMO

zippadeedoodaa · 11/11/2011 11:22

The inhaler has probably "expired" if you left it in school a while ago. Medication is only effective for a certain period and then should then be renewed. Just out of curiosity what would you want the teachers to do if your DC had an asthma attack and no inhaler was available?

PosiesOfPoinsetta · 11/11/2011 11:22

Honestly I would have just taken it in.

This morning I lost my bank card and so I'vce been to school three times, once to take dcs, once to take break time snacks and once to take poppies that they'd left in the car.

Thus proving that I'm a better ahem completely foollish and forgetful idiot mother that worries about my children not having stuff far more than they do.

zippadeedoodaa · 11/11/2011 11:23

Oh and just read your post 3years will mean you need to provide the school with a new inhaler.

Original poster
Acchhhoooo · 11/11/2011 11:39

No I supplied them with an inhaler less than 3 years ago. I will obviously take a new one up this afternoon.

OP posts:
valiumredhead · 11/11/2011 11:48

If it's on his school records he will have to take one with him I imagine for elf and safety/school policy.

worraliberty · 11/11/2011 11:52

You should probably take him back to the Docs and get him to look at him again.

My eldest was misdiagnosed with Asthma when he was 3 or 4yrs old.

BalloonTwister · 11/11/2011 11:52

I'd have gone back. Have you considered taking your son back to the doctors and asking for a second opinion? It would be better to know whether he really is asthmatic. When I was a child it was a rarity to have an inhaler, whereas now quite a high number of children carry them. It worries me slightly that people don't seem to take asthma very seriously. Asthma attacks can, and frequently do, kill. It is far better to have an effective management plan than rely on preventative inhalers as they don't always work. Sorry to go on OP but am speaking from personal experience...my heart stopped at the age of 21 from an asthma attack...fortunately I was already nearly at the hospital and responded well to defib, but I ws gone for over 3 minutes, it scared my poor Dad, who was driving me there, half to death himself!

altinkum · 11/11/2011 11:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

altinkum · 11/11/2011 11:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CalmaLlamaDown · 11/11/2011 12:01

I would have taken the inhaler in. The school can only go on the info you gave them so if you don't think he has asthma then remove it from the record. Did you have any notice of this trip?

pengymum · 11/11/2011 12:13

YABU
These things happen out of the blue - you don't know what may trigger an attack. A 15 min drive compared to the possible alternatives? If it was my child, I would be there like a shot.
One of my DCs has very mild eczema, kept in control with smear of hydrocortisone cream when we see the indicators. Normally carries a small tube to apply if nec. Forgot to take it one day and started to feel a bit itchy so I walked up to the school with a spare. Not far but don't have car so took me about 20 mins to walk there.

For a potentially life threatening condition, to begrudge a 15 min trip in a car it beyond my comprehension. Shock

PosiesOfPoinsetta · 11/11/2011 12:14

Hijack

Altinkum Just to say you are my story of choice atm with the way you stood up to your intimidators!! I hope it's all working out. So proud of you.

altinkum · 11/11/2011 12:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Blu · 11/11/2011 12:21

I am really impressed that the school took his situation seriously, and took responsibility for the situation which had most recently been described to them. Unitl they had an official note from you to say he is not at risk of asthma and doesn't need an inhaler, then they have responsibility for making sure he has one on trips. Especially to a farm where animals and hay might set him off.

It's hard for schools to do right in the opinion of parents, it seems. Can you imagine a thread by a parent asking for advice on a school that took an asthmatic child out on a trip with no inhaler? Everyone would be up in arms!

I would go in and be nice to them at pick-up time and say how you appreciate that they took the trouble to care!

CalmaLlamaDown · 11/11/2011 12:26

I don't think the op can see the school:s side of this as she is annoyed that THEY put 'irrational' worries in her mind!

wonkylegs · 11/11/2011 12:32

The school was right and acting upon information previously supplied by you. They are not mindreaders. I get very annoyed with DH who has a very ambivalent attitude to his asthma (because he gets severe attacks so infrequently and because he's a dr - they are generally shit where their own or their families health is concerned) but I do worry as my uncle died (anniversary of his death this weekSad) from having an asthma attack on his own. My aunt found him collapsed with the phone in his hand half way through dialling for an ambulance SadSad

CardyMow · 11/11/2011 12:37

Asthma can and does kill. My 7yo DS2 is severely asthmatic - he is admitted to hospital with serious attacks 3-4 times a year, and they can come on VERY suddenly, with no warning - he always has 3 preventer inhalers at school - one with his teacher, one in his coat pocket for playtime, and one with the head mid-day assistant. I have the expiry dates of each one written on a note on my pinboard, and I check it on the first of every month, to see if any of them need replacing.

I nearly lost him when he was 3yo through an asthma attack, it would take me 40 minutes to get to his school, but I would do it without question if by some odd circumstance none of his inhalers worked! YABVU.

MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 11/11/2011 12:42

YABU. it's for your son's benefit and it's good that the school are on top of these things. You had no reason not to go back....a baby isn't reason not to take your sons medicatin to him.

Original poster
Acchhhoooo · 11/11/2011 14:01

Just to clarify, DS does not have severe asthma. In fact he has had no asthma in over 3 years Hmm and the hospital diagnosis was not 100%. They said they would rather diagnose him than not. Our GPs surgery have said they will keep him on the asthma review list, just in case.

Anyway he was fine as I expected (they were due back at school at 12.30 so I would have heard by now if anything was wrong). I was notified of the trip on Wednesday so 2 days notice. It was only a small group of DCs going as an alternative to something that was cancelled. The last time he went on a school trip was in July and I was not asked for an inhaler then so have no idea how long they have been without one.

OP posts:
zippadeedoodaa · 11/11/2011 14:06

OK yet another AIBU thread where the OP clearly thinks they are being perfectly reasonable...........so why ask Hmm

startail · 11/11/2011 14:13

I always stick something like dd1 has mild asthma, she may or may not have her inhaler with her.
Basically please don't worry, she's 13 and has been a total law unto herself about this since she was 9.

BalloonTwister · 11/11/2011 14:54

Can I just point out that even "mild" asthmatics can and do have fatal attacks. Do any of you remember the actress that played "Marmalade Atkins" and Scarlett in Four Weddings and a Funeral? She passed away after what I believe was only about her 3rd asthma attack.
It needs to be managed from a young age, otherwise CPD and lung damage can seriously damage the sufferers quality of life in later years.
I despair of this country's attitude to asthma, I really do. ASTHMA KILLS FFS

valiumredhead · 11/11/2011 15:06

Yes I remember her ballon Sad her parents were downstairs and she couldn't make them hear.

wonkylegs · 11/11/2011 18:41

My Uncles fatal attack was after a period of nearly 5yrs without any attacks. He didn't have an inhaler on him and he couldn't get help quick enough. I have always thought that it was a particularly horrible and frightening way to dieSad