to ask my colleague if he washes his hands after using the toilet?

[FairhairedandFrustrated]

Because every time he moves I get the biggest whiff of poo!

He's in his forties, an intelligent man, but why oh bloody why can he either not a) wipe properly, or b) wash his hands?

I can't stand being near him and often the smell in the small office is enough to make me hurl!

There are 4 of us in the office and myself and our closest colleague smell it and have often remarked "did we stand in something".. trying to ask without hurting his feelings.

But now I don't care if his feelings are hurt... I can't stand the smell of shit he brings with him! Nor can I stand the smell he leaves in the bathroom on a Monday (rich pickings at weekends!) nor the poo that won't flush..

He often wears the same clothes 5 days in a row - so if it's skiddies in his pants then we're fucked.

How would you address it?

And would I be unreasonable to ask him every time he uses the bathroom "have you washed & flushed?"

Oh dear. I appreciate you probably don't want to raise this with your manager now he's been so unhelpful, but he should be aware that your colleague may have mental health issues. Digestive problems that cause bad breath are one thing, but having such poor personal hygiene that he spills coffee down his shirt and doesn't change it all week? It shows a serious lack of self-respect, to the extent that it sounds like a cry for help.

Maybe email the absent HR person, so she at least gets something about it when she returns from maternity? Surely there's a duty of pastoral care to someone who is so obviously struggling with the basics of daily life - washing, changing clothes, etc?

No, I doubt if there are mental health issues. He's is generally one of those 'busy' people who wouldn't even think his dress is important. Last week he came in with shorts and sandals on, saying he had been so engrossed in an article in the paper he left himself short of time to get changed.... he wears the shorts before getting dressed - otherwise known as pyjamas! But, this is just 'him' - it's not even remarkable anymore that he does strange things.

He constantly tells us he is more intelligent than us and says he has a 'certain degree' of seniority.. he's there a year longer than me. Our manager lets him think he has this degree of seniority by never addressing problems with him.

Have sent an email to HR but don't expect a reply as the email address from work is joint and he could read whatever reply she sends (I give her my own personal email in the one I sent her so she can reply when she returns, by which time I'll have left!)

You wouldn't know if he had MH problems OP.

Can you speak to HR instead of your manager?

Sorry have just read that you emailed them!

I think the fact that he could possible read the email is very cruel - this needs to be handled very sensitively or have I read that completely wrong?

No, he can't read the e-mail.

He could read the reply, if she replied to that e-mail address. But she won't, as I'll have left by then and i've included a different one if she wanted to reply to me.

When you work with someone 6 days a week, 9 hours day and hear every second of their weekend, know their wife and brother etc that's a fair indication of other things... he is a very intelligent man - he could have been a doctor (in his own words) His wife in fact, is a doctor.

Am leaving this now as I'm afraid I'll just look cruel. His feelings are not hurt/will not be hurt. But I hope that anyone else who may be dealing with him in future in such a small enclosed office, has it better than me.

Doctors aren't exempt from MH problems, neither are intelligent people

I hope it gets sorted, whatever the reasons it's not nice to have to smell nasty things every day!