I have a friend from 22 years ago, before the days of being married and having children, we used to have some good times and got on really well. She married and started her family a few years before me, she gradually became busier and busier with her family life and her business, and had no time anymore for our friendship. We saw eachother less and less and gradually drifted apart the way it sometimes happens with people. I wasn't upset about it at the time, as I then got married myself and started my own family, I went on to have four children and life was very busy. Occasionally we would bump into one another in the shop or the petrol station..we would have a quick chat and then be on our way. I think the last time I went to her house was 6 years ago, I had a bit of a shock and I needed a listening ear! At that point she had just moved into her new house and was planning a housewarming party-she said she would like to invite me and hubby and would let us know when it was.
Fast forward another year and I bump into her again, she was always very warm with me but proceeded to tell me how her house-warming was ruined by her jealous sister, she seemd to have forgotten that she hadn't let me know the date! I let it go as an oversight, although I was starting to stew a bit over our supposedly wonderful friendship. By this time I had four children, she had never once sent any of them a birthday card. Each christmas she used to hammer on my door, throw a bag of presents at me and then rush off without entering the house exclaiming she was "too busy" and "not got time!".I eventually told her to stop doing it as i realised she was just doing it out of obligation and not for the love of it!
The turning point was when my youngest child started school, she tracked me on facebook and after accepting her friendship on there, she demanded to know what I was going to do with myself now!! "NOTHING" she said! We had so little contact at this point, she wasn't even sure of the name of which child was starting school! After a couple of telephone conversations I realised that she was obviously a bit bored and had a gap to fill, and she needed someone to go out with to socialise. I explained clearly that my life was completely full with the kids and hubby working shifts, and that I had neither the time, inclination or money to go out to pubs etc, but that she was welcome for a coffee anytime.
I began to realise that in every conversation we had, she would relay a battle or a fiesty arguement with someone or other she had come across. She even bragged to me how she had threatened to fight with her own teenage son when he had been giving her cheek, even her own husband had expressed his disgust at this. I realised I don't actually like her that much anymore. I did agree for her to come over to mine for a cuppa on two occassons, both times she messed me about and let me down. Ive decided I really just don't want to pick up this friendship again,,,but she is now bombarding me with phone calls and txt messages, i think she can sense I am avoiding her. Anyone else would have given up by now, this has been going on for 18months. Its come to the point when I need to tell her to back off....and the truth is I am afraid of her and confrontation with her, she is agressive and nasty if you get on the wrong side of her. Please help me deal with this...any ideas would be appreciated.
sorry such a long post. x