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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think my ds looks a tad trampy??

60 replies

whethergirl · 09/11/2011 11:05

This morning DS, age 6 was:

Wearing a filthy coat.
I try to wash his coat at least once a week as it's needed. I do really need another coat so I can wash one while he has a spare to wear, but really can't afford to buy one at the moment.

Wearing tatty shoes.
I do buy quite cheap shoes and maybe I need to consider saving up for a pair of better quality ones as he wears them out SO quickly. I bought this pair for £10 two months ago and they look like they've been worn for years. The label said "Scuff resistant"?? Bollocks.

Sportiing bed head hair.
His hair is impossible. I've tried water, spit and gel but if he wakes up up with sticky up hair then there is no taming it. The double crown doesn't help.

He has 3 school jumpers and still ends up wearing a dirty one sometimes because I can't wash them as quick as he dirties them. I change his school top every day, and his trousers most days, yet my mum complains that I don't iron them.

When I pick him up, if he happens to have had a runny nose (snot sleeves) and got lunch down his top then this only adds to his tramp themed image.

Sometimes I think if I had more money it could be improved, eg. I could get better quality shoes, smarter school tops, extra coat etc. He did look a bit like the 'poor' kid when he went into school this morning Sad

Does anyone else struggle to keep their kids looking half decent? Is this normal and shall I just relax? My mum is of the iron-your-knickers mentality so do feel that DS is definitely not up to her standards!!

OP posts:
Becaroooo · 09/11/2011 13:19

"trampy"

Hardly!

Sounds like a normal kid to me! My ds1 also has 3 pairs school trousers, 5 polo shirts and 2 sweathsirts and I struggle to get the washed and dried in time some weeks.

I do buy quite expensive school shoes though as his feet dont grow very fast and so he is in them a fair time.

If he needed new shoes every 3 months due to growth I would buy cheaper ones!!

RumourOfAHurricane · 09/11/2011 13:20

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MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 09/11/2011 13:22

If he's got 3 jumpers then there's no excue for him wearing a dirty one.

His hair...cut it shorter....very short...better that than to look unkempt.

His coat....can''t be hard to jeep a fiver or a tenner back....save up...you can get them for less than that on Ebay. And iron his trousers!

MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 09/11/2011 13:23

DO you work? If not, then I DO know how hard it is to find a fiver...I'm not judging...but wash his jumpers daily.

Original poster
whethergirl · 09/11/2011 13:24

shineoncrazydiamond - I change his polo shirts and trousers every day, have enough of those. I think I do need more school jumpers actually - but never noticed anyone else wearing non-logo ones so don't want him to stand out. I couldn't make the last school uniform sale so will ask receptionist if there are any 2nd hand jumpers I could buy.

Ditto, bathed/showered every single night. DS hair also short, I think it's his double crown that's the problem. I honestly do struggle to afford one pair of school shoes and one pair of weekend shoes at a time (especially at the rate his feet grow!). He does have trainers for football as well, they're not allowed to wear trainers for school.

OP posts:
MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 09/11/2011 13:25

there's loads here

MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 09/11/2011 13:27

Double crown or not, shorter will be better. My DD has double crown as does my DH and DH keeps his very short.

squeakytoy · 09/11/2011 13:28

he has 3 school jumpers and so I DON'T change them every day, just whenever I can.

A child needs a clean jumper on every day. They will have wiped their hands and nose down it.

If you have 3 jumpers, then you have absolutely no excuse for not making him wear a clean one every day. No excuse at all.

MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 09/11/2011 13:29

My DD has ONE school jumper and a cardigan....so that's one on and one in the wash...I agree with squeaky

Original poster
whethergirl · 09/11/2011 13:34

That's very kind of you jamtastic, but what age is the coat label? As my ds is 6.5 and very tall.

MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll - there are five days of the week and only 3 jumpers. There are only two of us so don't always have enough to do a load. His trousers are the crease free ones, I asked around and other mums don't seem to iron school uniform either. But yes, especially as it's Winter, I do need more school jumpers. I do work and study both part time, but get less than what I would do on income support.

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 09/11/2011 13:36

oh sorry but that is bullshit! you can do more than one load of washing a week surely? wash it by hand if you dont have a full load.

by wednesday you must have enough clothes to do a load of washing.

elfiro · 09/11/2011 13:37

Quite shocked actually at how clean and tidy you all keep your dcs. Mine are all always a mess no matter what I do. Seems like 5 minutes after they leave for school they already have messy hair and dirt on their clothes. It doesn't really bother me, and I don't care what anyone thinks. They have never been teased about it and always seem to have fun playing which is the most important thing.

I think they will decide for themselves when they want to look more presentable. They choose what they wear (no uniform) and as long as there are no massive holes or tears in the clothes, I can't be bothered fighting over it, it's just not important imo.

OP your ds sounds lovely and if I saw him covered in mud I would think how much fun he's been having and how he's lucky to have a laid-back mum who lets him get dirty.

MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 09/11/2011 13:38

OP no offence but you can't wait for a full load...not if it means your son is going to school in many clothes. The other kids WILL notice. Wash them by hand if you're wrried about the bills. It's not hard....sink of hot water...dab of detergent...5 mins later you hang them on a hanger in front of the fire/radiator.

MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 09/11/2011 13:39

not if it means your son is going to school in many clothes should have been manky...not many!

seeker · 09/11/2011 13:42

"OP your ds sounds lovely and if I saw him covered in mud I would think how much fun he's been having and how he's lucky to have a laid-back mum who lets him get dirty."

I am the most laid back about dirt mother i know, but I really don't think a child should leave the house covered in mud on a regular basis. Arrive at school, possibly. Leave school, certainly. But not leave home in the morning!

MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 09/11/2011 13:44

A muddy child at the end of a school day is normal and healthy....one that has snot on his sleeves from the day before is not.

LizzieMo · 09/11/2011 13:44

Hi Whether!! My DD is six and sounds just like your DS, even down to wanting to invent a time machine (maybe we should get them to collaborate!!) I am also slightly scared of checking her pockets sometimes- I found a half dead worm once in with the crumpled leaves!!

I find baby wipes are miracle workers on dinner/paint/felt tip stains. You can spot clean the actual stain and it does not take too long to dry. Does your school operate any second-hand uniform sales? I was a bit sniffy about my precious in second hand clothes at first, until I found the price of a new school jumper was nine pounds, but they were selling the second hand ones for 50 pence. She now has one bought from new jumper and two second hand ones. I honestly no longer care if she rips/ fatally stains them, I can always chuck after a few months and get some more second hand.

As for shoes- you can cover the grey 'underneath the scuff' marks with black nail polish (think Goth!!) and then put the shoe polish over the top. Works a treat!!!

RumourOfAHurricane · 09/11/2011 13:44

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MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 09/11/2011 13:45

I dont mean the CHILD isn't normal and healthy but the PRACTICE of sending him like that.

beesknobblyknees · 09/11/2011 13:49

My 6yo DS has probably 7 polos, 5-6 jumpers and 5 trousers and at least once a week I'm still scrabbling around in the clean (or rarely the dirty) washing mountain looking for something for him to put on. I know there's no excuse logistically....but life takes over. I'd get another couple of jumpers though as 3 is low I think for an active boy - especially with winter mud and snot season coming up.

Polish....yup does wonders. Ebay is another place good for 2nd hand shoes - Clarks or Startrites and school shoes seem to go quite reasonably.

My DS also has a double crown - ho hum. I must say I like his slight bed head one little devil's horn in the morning though!

Also try M+S for crease free stuff - its reasonably good. Best if you hang up to dry immediately out of wash or fold straight from tumble drier (that definitely works - if you have time....which mostly I don't, hence the rummaging through the mountain!)

Badgermoose · 09/11/2011 13:57

The only way I manage for either DC is to have at least 5 of everything so it starts clean every morning and I don't have to worry about it until the W/E. I lucked out with DS as I got given a huge bag of hand me downs by a lovely Mum in DDs class - any of the girls in your DS's class have older brothers?

They both always look like they spent all day in a hedge exploring enthusiastically by the time they get home, DD no better than DS TBH.

olibeansmummy · 09/11/2011 16:41

I think you're getting a hard time here op. Your ds is loved and cared for, has a bath every night and you are working hard to support you both as well as studying for a better future.

Also I believe the op said her son's sleeves were snot stained by the end of the day not at the beginning.

That said op, it sounds like you could make much better use of 2nd hand sales.

My advice is only go for leather shoes as synthetic looks awful when it gets scuffed. Startrite do brilliant sales online quite frequently so I just buy the next size up shoe during the sales, you can save up to half price that way.

As for the coat well the main thing is he has one and is warm!

coccyx · 09/11/2011 16:44

3 jumpers and still wears a dirty one, how come??

Blacksquirrel · 09/11/2011 16:52

You could ask on your local freecycle for a coat/shoes for him.

We've just recently given DS' winter coats from last year to charity but his school shoes from last year would proably still do some one well with a bit of a clean up.

TheProvincialLady · 09/11/2011 17:13

Have you got a clothes brush? It's a simple thing, but you can wait until the mud dries on his coat and then brush almost all of it off.

I have 5 pairs of trousers, 5 jumpers and 6 polo shirts (they came in packs of 3) for my 5 year old DS. He wears one clean every day. On Saturday they all get washed and dried and then ironed on Sunday. Shoes are also polished on Sundays (and in between times if necessary). I wouldn't say my DS looks smart, but he doesn't look awful either. Would that work for you? It's all very tedious but it must be done. Alternatively you will have to spot clean every night, but I find that loads more effort than what I do and not as effective.

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