To not want to stay with ill relatives while pregnant?

[AprilAl]

I am due to go and stay with my DM and DSD for a night as I have an appointment very near them early the following morning. It would take two to three hours to drive there from my house and about half an hour to drive there from DMs house.

I know they've both had colds recently and figured they'd be over the worst of them by now, but last night when I phoned to make final arrangements they were both barking and coughing and could barely catch their breath. I was told in great detail what an awful cold it's been, how DSD has been terrible at nights, how it's really gone onto his chest and he can't sleep as he has major coughing fits as soon as he lies down. I suggested that if they were both unwell I shouldn't impose and would just drive to the appointment from here, but DM sounded terribly upset at the suggestion and said she's been really looking forward to seeing me and that they're both "fine"

I'm 19 weeks and am having awful trouble with the nerves in my arms which means I haven't slept properly for weeks and am in quite a lot of pain through the day (I have a nerve condition which has been made considerably worse by pregnancy). I've also been getting a lot of headaches and have generally been feeling pretty grotty for a while now. I feel like I should be doing my best under the circumstances to look after myself and the baby and really don't want to risk adding a nasty chest infection to that mix. At the same time the words "I don't want to come because I don't want to get ill" have a selfish ring to them and I know DM would be disappointed and feel I was being silly.

Am I just being selfish and overcautious? It is only for one night after all. Would you go?

I can't comment on whether you should go there or not, but I really think you should be very firmly encouraging them to go to their GP regarding their health. It sounds as if they have far more than a cold.

Think I'd avoid it too, blame the midwife if needs be, always useful if you want to sidestep the blame and not look like the baddy to your mum.

And encourage them to go to the doctor too, I've learnt the hard way about ignoring coughs and thinking that I'm not going to trouble the doc with a cough that they will say antibiotics can't help. And then finally gone to discover it's evolved into bronchitis or pneumonia...

On a slight tangent have you had a flu jab? Seem to remember that there's some evidence that they can also helP to reduce/mitigate the number of coughs and colds you get as well as flu. Plus they've been advocating having them in pg in the USA for years, recently beginning to over here now too. (sorry if you know this already!)

Hope you get a good nights sleep soon!

Haven't had a flu jab, but have been wondering about getting one after reading a few recommendations, just won't have time to before my visit. I have suggested they go to the doctors though, they really didn't sound well last night.

I wouldn't go tbh there's no point feeling worse than you have to. I agree also if your DM and DSD are so bad they they should get a check up at the GP for their own sake.

I would get a flu jag, I got mine when I was about 30 weeks, you don;t need the 'flu' on top of everything else. You will have to remember though that it won't stop you getting other bugs.

My XH's Gran came down with 'flu' when I was pregnant with DD and I refused to go and nurse her due to my pregnancy.

Yanbu, you're far more likely to catch things when pg, I always seemed to get colds that were hard to shake off and had a chest infection. I remember having a terrible night coughing and it's hard enough to get a good sleep without being ill as well.

The flu jab takes 10-21 days to take effect, although it would probably be a good idea to have one anyway.

Thanks for the replies. Now I just need to work out whether it's worth being ill to avoid having to put up with DM's disappointment if I back out

april I had a cold at 32 weeks gone. It felt worse than a normal cold as I had the pressure on my lungs and pregnancy tiredness on top of it.

Definitely consider getting a flu jab - the risks of stillbirth are higher in women who have swine flu.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-15357218

Don't go, YANBU. I caught a cold (from my PIL, grrr... ) at 20wks in my last pregnancy and didn't manage to shake it off all winter. You produce a lot more mucus when you're PG so even the slightest cold will play havoc with your sinuses. As zipzap suggests, blame the midwife

YANBU and still wouldn't be even if you weren't pregnant.

Tell them the midwife/GP has advised against it and make out you're as disappointed as they are.

Cancel.

I caught a cold from my SIL's boy just before I had DS and I was miserable.

Phone and tell them that your midwife has advised against it, and tell them to go to the doc.

They may have flu. They should see GP is a "cold" has gone on past the expected 5 days or so, and is actually worse, not better.

You should consider the flu jab, every one pregnant should think about having it. The risks to you start to rise sharply after about 20 weeks, the risk to the baby from flu is high right from the start of pregnancy (all flu, not just Swine flu), as it causes miscarriage as well as stillbirth. If you decide to have the jab, don't be fobbed off by HV, MW or GP who say have it at later stage of preg, the sooner the better.

The jab is available at pharmacists too, for about a tenner.

This year's flu jab is licensed for all trimesters. I had mine at 9 weeks.