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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To worry that ds will be the youngest in the school year

35 replies

tifflins · 08/11/2011 23:08

not till a few years yet but his birthday is late august, his development seems normal but not advanced, he is quite shy and clingy, but probably just the baby phase. Am I worrying unnecessarily?

OP posts:

SazZandASparkler · 08/11/2011 23:11

Please don't worry now, especially if it is a few years away. DD2 is a mid Aug baby and will start school next september. She seems so little, but i know she will develop masses by next year.

If, when the time comes, you still feel the same then you can always defer entry. Enjoy your time with him and deal with any hurdles as and when they arise

worraliberty · 08/11/2011 23:11

Well schools are looking more and more at staggered intakes relating to age.

But to be honest, they all learn at their own pace and all catch up in the end.

As for being clingy, I see some Junior kids still crying and not wanting to leave their parents in the mornings

troisgarcons · 08/11/2011 23:15

Wait a few years.

Or hang your self out to dry in angst and what ifs.

What will be will be.

Or ask me if my September baby is The Most Intelligent Specimen in his year group. (nah!)

IneedAbetterNickname · 08/11/2011 23:26

I really wouldn't worry about this yet.
My DS1 is the youngest in his year (year 3) and is doing just fine. Not massively ahead, not massively behind, although in art and craft projects his concentration etc is above most others (must be his forte). IME the teachers will take the age difference into account, in infants at least!
I was also the youngest in my year, and did better at school than most of my friends, and October born brother.
And hey, someone has to be the youngest!

Pozzled · 08/11/2011 23:32

My DD is an early August baby and when she was tiny I did wonder how she would cope at school. (I'm a teacher and always thought that I would plan my DCs very carefully and have autumn births- I have Aug and June DDs! ). She's now 3, so will be starting in reception next sep at just over 4, and I have no concerns- she's confident and quite sociable.

No point in worrying yet, wait and see how your DS develops, and remember that you will be able to defer his start date or let him go part time for a while before starting full time. Also, I do think that the one thing that has the biggest impact on a child's education is parental support, which he will obviously have plenty of if you're already worrying!

LittleMissFlustered · 08/11/2011 23:34

Son is an August type. End of his first day in FS2 and his teacher comments "well, we certainly know we have him in the class, he's very keen to join in" :o

onwardandupwards · 08/11/2011 23:52

dd was born on the last day of August i had a worry about school and after her first year they put her back a year as children in the year below were only a few weeks younger. DD is now the oldest in year and this has worked out well.

TheTenantOfWildfellHall · 08/11/2011 23:55

My DD is an end of July birthday and 5 weeks prem.

She aced her Reception year and got all 7s, 8s and 9s in her profile scores (basically above average).

She settled in fine, she loved her reception year (which is play based and a lot of fun anyway).

Don't worry too much, I'm sure your DS will be fine.

Original poster

tifflins · 08/11/2011 23:55

Thank you all for the reassurance, it has certainly helped.

OP posts:

cwtchy · 09/11/2011 00:05

I have two DCs, both born in the last week of August (I appear to only be fertile in the month of November). One is in reception, the youngest will be starting school nursery - full time! - next September.

I am occassionally overcome with despair at my failiure to not hang on and give birth to both a few days later in September, but then I get over it. It's not something I can change, so not worth the worry. At the very least though, I would make sure your DC never picks up on the worries you have. My best friend and I in primary school were both August born, but my friend had such low expectations for herself. Her mother always gave her the excuse that she was so much younger than everyone else, it didn't matter if she wasn't achieving as much/behaving as well as the others, and it became a self fulfilling prophecy. My mother just told me I had to work a bit harder than the older kids, and so I did The fact you are worried about it means your DC will have the support at home to reduce the August effect.

SacreLao · 09/11/2011 00:58

Don't worry about it at all.

My birthday is the 28th August and I had no problems at all with keeping up in school.

My DD is 12th September and so is the oldest in her class yet is fairly behind the rest of them as she daydreams and talks way too much.

It honestly makes no difference!

Dozer · 09/11/2011 06:44

People will often say their DC are OK but the evidence suggests that it is a big disadvantage. But not a lot we can do about it apart from lobby for a change a bit like the scottish system where DC can join reception a year late (ie start at 5). Not everyone will think this is a good idea though.

(I have a late august DC and am concerned).

Dozer · 09/11/2011 06:45

People who say it makes no difference, how d'you explain all the data to the contrary?

BleughCowWonders · 09/11/2011 06:52

As with any child - treat him as an individual. Let him learn at his own pace and he'll get there. (speaking as a mum of v late August child)

Iscreamtea · 09/11/2011 06:57

Statistically summer birthdays don't do so well but that doesn't mean an individual will necessarily struggle. My Dd is a July birthday and academically flying but she has struggled socially.

In England you can't defer entry. If you start a year later they will go.into year 1. Even if you did somehow manage it at primary the secondary school may insist the child goes into the correct year for age so they would miss a year of school which would obviously not be helpful.

handbagCrab · 09/11/2011 09:26

My husband's bday is 31st August. He has 2 degrees and earns very well in a professional job.

People are people, not stats! Apparently if your name begins with one of the first letters of the alphabet you do 'better' than everyone else. Should we all call our children Aaron just in case? Would the advantage still hold then?

You're child will be fine, though I imagine the difference (if there is one) will be more marked at the start and tail off over time.

SpottyWellies · 09/11/2011 09:33

This really worries me too , like dozer says the stats say otherwise, although of course there will be exceptions (DH being one).

Pozzled · 09/11/2011 09:34

Dozer As Iscreamtea says, statistically it does make a difference, but that doesn't mean that summer-born individuals can't do very well for themselves. There are so many factors involved in how a child performs at school, their age when they start is just one of them.

Personally I still think parental support is the most important factor- so I believe that summer-borns with good parental support will have better outcomes than autumn-borns without parental support. However, I don't suppose this could ever be proved or disproved because how would you measure 'parental support'?

I'd be interested to know more about the Scottish system of being able to defer but still go into reception. I could see lots of advantages as long as there is no pressure to defer and each child is treated individually.

slavetofilofax · 09/11/2011 09:37

My two are both late August.

DS1 has done really well academically and has always been top of his class in primary school, but I think he did struggle socially to start with.

It has made no difference to DS2 whatsoever. He does well socially and is in the top sets for maths, English and science, so no worries there.

There will be benefits as well remember, your dd should get a whole year in reception if she has to do a September intake, and that's not a bad thing. She will be getting to know the routines of school and have a really good introduction to literacy and numeracy when she is still under the EYFS, so there will be lots of playtime too.

It's not worth worrying about yet, because there are lots of things that can be done to help her if she does seem too young when the time comes. She could do a very staggered start if she needs too.

juneau · 09/11/2011 09:43

You can always defer entry if you want to. You don't legally have to send your children to school until they're 5. The choice is yours.

gordyslovesheep · 09/11/2011 09:45

don't worry - DD2 is a July baby and the second youngest - she has thrived in school (top sets for maths and english) and the older kids have always looked out for her - which she found a little irritating at times!

JambalayaCodfishPie · 09/11/2011 09:47

My daughters birthday is August 31st - so she is the absolute youngest you can be - and shes fine!

It never occured to me, ever, that she might not cope, might need to defer, etc.

She is fantastic socially, hits all her targets, and LOVES school.

Please dont worry about statistics! :)

VonHerrBurton · 09/11/2011 09:50

Tifflins - a friend of mine's daughter is now very happy and settled in Y1. She was born late August and was always a shy, quiet little thing who hid behind her Mum's legs every time anyone spoke to her - even people she knew well.

From Easter onwards towards her starting Reception, they came to the drop-off and pick-ups in the playground with me and my rowdy, tall, loud (but lovely!) 9 year old boys. Just to get used to the routine, the noise, the people everywhere, the whistle blowing. It worked wonders and by the time the term was finished she was desperate for it to be 'her turn' to put the uniform on and go in.

There have been a couple of wobbles - but based around things any child would get a bit stressed over. If you have the time/know someone, I would try that.

lovingthecoast · 09/11/2011 09:55

It does make a difference. Stats and experience shows that. However, firstly, there's nothing you can do about it other than campaign so it really isn't worth worrying for the next few years and not enjoying your child.

He is who he is. He may find it difficult, probably more socially than academically but there is lots you can do to help that. Just take as many opportunities as possible to instill confidence in him and to foster his independence. His Reception teacher will be very aware of the accute differences between Sept girls and Aug boys and will plan and expect accordingly.

Talk about school as much as possible beforehand. Make it a big, exciting thing. Ask school if you can have a few extra visits or settling in sessions to help build his enthusiasm.

Finally, as has been mentioned, the stats won't necessarily apply to your child. All you can do is support him and encourage him and in the long run he will be fine! Just be prepared for some extreme exhaustion for the first half term

Everlong · 09/11/2011 10:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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