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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should I be pissed of about this?

12 replies

MrBloomsNursery · 08/11/2011 21:35

Okay, DD's birthday is coming up on Saturday. It won't be a big party as I'll be 32 weeks pregnant, and I really don't have the energy to entertain guests, so it'll just be family, but bare in mind our family is quite big.

About 5 weeks ago I mentioned to SIL that I was going to bake DD's birthday cake this year, as I feel homemade cakes taste better than shop bought and I've also had alot of practise baking since l left work. She told me that she knew a woman who runs a cake business from her home who makes cakes on order and that she'd buy the cake for DD's birthday, and that I shouldn't worry about it.

So fastforward five weeks. SIL phones this evening, and tells me that she phoned the woman to order the cake (today! Not 5 or 4 weeks earlier!) and the woman has told her that she is pregnant and feeling sick and is not going near her kitchen and can't make the cake Hmm. She then ASKS me if she should get the cake from M&S or Tesco Hmm. As she was asking, I ended up being polite and told her not to bother (nicely) and that I'd make the cake as I had planned, and her reply was "okay, that's fine then".

AIBU to think that firstly, she should have ordered the cake ages ago when she said she would so the woman couldn't have backed out, secondly if the woman wasn't going to make the cake, then SIL should have just kept it to herself and got any cake for DD's birthday from M&S or Tesco or wherever instead of phoning me and asking me? I feel she took the job upon herself and told me "not to worry about the cake", so she should have just done whatever appropriate. Thirdly, if she had been more prepared she would have found out earlier that the woman was suffering morning sickness and wasn't taking orders. (I'm a bit sceptical about this anyway - what a way to run a business Hmm)

I don't know if I'm just stressing for no reason (pregnancy hormones and stuff), but for DNiece's birthday I didn't even ask SIL if she wanted a cake and just made a lovely triple chocolate cake for them and took it around with presents. Why does she have to make everything so awkward? DD would have been happy with ANY cake, I mean surely she could work out what a 4 year old girl would like?

I am so annoyed right now. Now I have to think up a nice design for a cake in a few days. I don't even know what I'm going to do.

Sorry for making it long, and I'm willing to accept I'm being stupid and I should have accepted her offer of the other cake...I just don't understand why she phoned and asked, when she said she would deal with it. :(

OP posts:
slapmeonthepatio · 08/11/2011 21:44

It is annoying to be let down - particularly when someone offered to do something for you. I think I'd be irritated. It's something you didn't think you had to worry about, but now it's an extra thing.

On a practical note, you could make a plain rectangular sponge and get a cake topper to put on. I did this for DD2's last birthday when she was 4. She was very much into 'Tangled' and I found a Tangled cake topper on eBay. They printed her name and age on and she loved it.

like this

MenopausalHaze · 08/11/2011 21:47

Life is too short and your DD is too young for Cake Wars. Just let it be, let it go and eat it up!

HecateGoddessOfTheNight · 08/11/2011 21:47

probably because she remembered that you slagged off shop bought cakes so assumed that wouldn't be ok with you and didn't have another option and since you bake cakes thought you'd maybe rather do one yourself than have a shop bought one you'd already told her you don't think are very good?

feckfeckfeckfeck · 08/11/2011 21:49

YABU.
You'd said you wanted a homemade cake because they taste nicer. Her idea for a 'homemade' bought one fell through, so she phoned you to check if she should get a shop-bought one anyway.

You'd have been 'AIBU to be narked that SIL bought a cake when I'd specifically said I wanted a homemade one' if she'd gone ahead without checking.

And so she's flakey and doesn't order things weeks in advance... as a scatty person myself it's just the sort of thing I'd do Blush so my sympathies are with her I'm afraid.

Original poster
MrBloomsNursery · 08/11/2011 21:50

Yeah that's true...

OP posts:
Original poster
MrBloomsNursery · 08/11/2011 21:51

about the shop thing...

OP posts:
plupervert · 08/11/2011 21:54

Sounds like an awkward and insecure character.

helpmabob · 08/11/2011 21:54

YABU, it is so not a big deal. And even if she had booked 5 weeks earlier the cake woman would probably have called up to cancel the order last minute anyway if she was feeling so sick. FWIW some people have such severe sickness they have to be hospitalised. I was signed off work for 3 months and if I had to go into a kitchen I would have shot myself.

EssentialFattyAcid · 08/11/2011 21:56

Yabu

PastaLaVista · 08/11/2011 21:57

I hardly know where to start. SiL offers, you accept even though you would rather make the cake yourself; SiL orders cake, probably at the usual notice from a woman running a cottage industry from home (no way to run a business?); it goes wrong and SiL offers an alternative shop-bought cake; you decide that you want your DD to have a home-made cake even though your DD would be happy with ANY cake.

She's not making this difficult, you are.

Cherriesarelovely · 08/11/2011 23:41

I think OP that she was nervous of doing something that you wouldn't like, probably not because you are difficult, just because she wants to make sure she gets it right. Don't worry, it will all be fine, enjoy the party and good luck with your new DC.

comedycentral · 09/11/2011 09:25

I can see why this would be annoying but nothing to fall out over. Have a lovely party, I bet the cake will be yummy.

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