To feel a lot pissed off and feel like a mug?!

[OTTMummA]

Started work in a retail chain just over a yr ago, at a lowerly management level, woked my arse off and got rid of some dead wood, got a promotion, my shop has had massive sales growth and operational standards can't get much better.
When we got rid of the "dead wood" who were actually my managers i ended up working 50-60hrs a week for about a month, being the only manager in the shop.
The shop then got a manager from another site and things have got better and better, my manager is tough, hard, and unforgiving, but i have a lot of respect for them, and so i thought they had of me, however the last few weeks, they have been taking the piss, asking me for favours, and forgetting to leave keys with people which ended up with me having to come in on my days off very early to open up shop, and waiting 3-4hrs for them to drop off keys after a my shifts end.
I was not happy about this and made it clear last week, not shouting, but pointing out what i thought was unfair behaviour.
Then they stared to just ignore me and be passive, non responsive etc which actually upset me as we had previously had a good working relationship.
Things cooled off and they were talking to me again, but today i started the morning shift, had a pretty stressful morning because a member of staff was making things extra difficult and basically saying because i come in early and get some things ready in the morning for them, they shouldn't expect to have to do it when i don't feel like it! ( yeah, i went F*ing nuts ).
They then continued to mess me about all morning, being deliberatley difficult etfc.
I also had maintence problems to attend to and breaks to deal out.
I had a short shift today, as i was owed hours from last week, when my manager comes in they go off on one about how i hadn't done the banking etc, and why was so and so doing this, when its busy etc.
Now my manager knows the 2 memebers of staff i had in are slow, they never hurry up, even when they ask them to, they just don't speed up,, ever.
They also know that one sometimes behaves in a manner that screws up the routine we have.
I stayed btw and did the banking, but they were telling me to go home, i ignored their comment and got yelled at, so i told them not to talk to me, ive had enough.
Now they are acting like im being unreasonable.
My manager didn't even ask how the morning had gone, so they didn't ask for a reason, just shouted out statements " what i don't appreciate is that the banking isn't done" blah effing blah.
The thing that really gets to me, is how they speak to me though, like im a piece of shit, when really they know i work dam hard, and am always giving, giving, giving, so why talk to me like that?!

Im done now.
What would you do?

When i say, i tell people when im mad, i mean i literally tell them that whatever it is has made me angry.

I am professional, when i have an issue with someones behaviour or attitude, i wait until we are not busy, and talk to them in private.
I may tell them that i am not happy, upset, or dissapointed in whatever it is that has been said or done, or not done sometimes, but i don't yell and scream at people.
I go through a step process when i need to address issues, it goes:

1. I would like to discuss the issue of your beaviour/what was said etc.
2. I generaly then say what is wrong/ why it is unacceptable etc.
3. Ask them if there why they feel this has happened
4. Tell them how we as a team are going to resolve this, or what actions i expect from them in the future.
5. Give a time frame of how long i will be monitoring behaviour, time keeping or whatever the issue is, and in which ways i will document this.
6. Ask if there is anything that the company, or i can do to help them resolve the issue, or ways of supporting them wether its more training, 121 time, etc.

Yesterday when the staff member said that to me, i did pause and ask " what did you just say?!" as i couldn't believe what had just been said.
they just smiled at me, i walked off, and continued my work, until it was quiet, customer wise, and asked them to come in the office.
I told her i was quite suprised at their statement, and how blase they were about what they had said, and that i was dissapointed they thought it was ok to talk to me like that infront of other staff and customers.
But after that i resumed my normal procedure.

I don't honestly see what more i could of done.
Maybe ive just been too nice.

OTT you don't sound unreasonable at all.
The only thing I can suggest is if someone talks to you in an unacceptable way don't ask them a question ( for example "what did you just say") state firmly- "I would rather you did not talk to me like that." and then talk in the office as you did yesterday.
I would get senior management involved if it continues, their passive aggressive bullying is unacceptable.

My manager said that the staff member isn't making a formal complaint against me, but im thinking of making one against them.
Implying i am racist could damage my reputation, what would you do?

Do you work for a bookmakers by chance OTT?

I work in retail. In high end management but have worked at all levels. It's brutal! Your issues unfortunately don't sound un common, and I think you need to grow a thicker skin and get more assertive. I had people take the piss out of me. But they never did it again. Maybe retail isn't for you?

Great points from SugarPasteZombie above.

I worked in retail for years and it is brutal, sometimes you feel you have nowhere to turn.

You need to delegate more, get those slow members of staff to speed up.

I was you for years, carried the whole branch on my shoulders, then I left and my manager couldn't cope and left.

I wouldn't stand for that shit OTT. It is not on for any person to make an untrue allegation against another person and for there to be no consequences.

A person's reputation is important and, however unfair, there will be people who say there's no smoke without fire and will believe this other member of staff. You can't let it slide when someone attempts to rubbish your reputation.

Also, there are people who are genuinely the victims of some kind of discrimination and people who bandy around accusations, when they've been legitimately criticised in some aspect of their job, make it very hard for people who are genuine. Playing the race card is plain wrong and your manager should come down on them like a ton of bricks. I'd want a written retraction and apology.

Stop being so nice. No more birthday presents and home made cakes. They clearly don't appreciate it.

Thank you for the advice, I am making a formal complaint as someone from another shop has already asked me if what they have said is true. I only made the cake etc because they had to work on their bday, felt bad for them! I guess I just have to start relating to staff in a formal way, which is a shame, I'm naturally a concerned person and thoughtful. Probably best in the long run, for me anyway.

Most retail appears to be horrific to work in - my sis works for a very large pharmacy chain and has done for many years, more than 20 - and she is still treated like crap. She has been up and down in terms of responsibility, even to a point of being acting manager at one of their optician stores, but is still at their mercy. She couldn't leave now if she wanted to - she wouldn't know where to go.

OTT - Can you have a discussion with your manager where you define your own working role a little more clearly? You need better boundaries for sure, and as others have said you need to withdraw a little and become purely professional when dealing with this other person. I hope that the person who accused you of being racist is brought up short - that's a despicable thing to do to someone who has shown you kindness - and that you can get decent resolution from the management about it.