To want my DH to accept his mothers money so we can move house

[LizzieBusy]

To cut a long story short we need more space and my DH's mother has offered us an amount of money that would just about make this possible. However it wont quite in that we need a bit more to move. My MIL certainly has this money - she already told my DH that and it wont really make much of a dent in her overall worth. However my DH doesnt want to ask for more and would prefer for us to stay in our tiny house.

We both work so its not like we are spongers, I just cant see his logic. Any advice on how to try and get him to ask her for the extra.

I think it would be rude to ask for any more tbh

If I was your DH I wouldn't want to ask for more either.

Be grateful for the amount given. Get a loan.

I don't think he should word it anything like that. But he could say "Thanks, its lovely of you to offer but unfortunately it wouldn't cover where we want to move to so you should just hang onto it"

Then she might spontaneously offer more. But you certainly can't ask for it.

YABU. Wait another year and save up the shortfall yourself.

the only reason we moved house last time was because MIL gave DH enough money to make it possible. as much as we didn't want to we are so much happier in our new house (wouldn't fit 3 kids in the old one!)

why does he want to stay in your tiny house? find a new house (within budget) that is so good he'll want to move into it.

I don't blame your dh, very rude imo.

Can you borrow the little bit extra to add to what his mother is offering? Or is he proposing refusing the whole lot?

I think it would be very rude to ask for more on top of what she is offering.

We would still require a mortgage but the money she would give us would get us out of a negatiev equity situation.

Thanks got the replies. I think i have lost some perspective on it in that we are crammed into a tiny house and really need more space.
Renting out our own, then renting a bigger house while saving like crazy for a few more years may be the best option AMuminScotland your suggestion sounds reasonable and maybe we just need to word it so that she feels no compulsion to give us more.

It's very generous of his mother.

I agree with him, tbh. I couldn't imagine going back and saying ta very much , but it's not enough, can you give me more?

Very rude indeed.

You'll just have to save, set your sights lower or stay where you are.

Presumably your MIL will wonder why you are not moving, having offered you help to buy a bigger house. If she asks, you can then explain your reasons i.e.cost of move, and then it is up to her if she wishes to offer to cover this too. But you can't ask her directly imo. And you have to wait for her to ask why you are not moving. Otherwise it will just sound like you are angling for more money - which you are of course.

That's true, lashings - thanks but keep it cos it's not enough is very manipulative