following on from overbearing in laws ... I can't win!

[Newmummytobe79]

After many of you advised being more assertive with visits etc I text to say I'm going out to do a favour for SIL tomorrow and could we pop round for a visit at x time. After many many comments (said to baby!) about going to their house I thought they'd be over the moon and jump at the chance. Plus I have plans for the rest of the week so I know it's the only day I have when they can see DC.

FIL said it sounds ok but will check with MIL and let me know. He then says that I'm only allowed to go round if I take DC. I know it's a joke but after everything it rubbed me up the wrong way!

Am I being unreasonable to be annoyed? Why can't a simple - 'we'd love that' do?

Because then they'd be giving you a little bit of the power.

That's it.

You've said you'll pop in - you hold the power.
They said only if you bring DS - they've taken a little bit of the power back.

And by saying "we'd love that" - they'd be acknowledging that you have the power.

Ridiculous, but true.

Oh TheTenantOfWildfellHall - I know you are so right.

Kind of wish I'd not bothered but that would just make me feel worse.

I hope it improves in time like it has for the other posters!

What happened that your MIL are treating you like this? I haven't seen your original thread, and was wondering if you could do a link so I can read it and get the story.

Sounds like your PIL are only tolerating you because of the DC's.

that you MIL is treating you like this.

I should learn to write properly.

'That's a pity, X will be doing Y. I will bring baby another time.'

Power back in your court, they lose.

wheres the original thread??? Love a bit of in law action...

not knowing the whole story, but, when you have had an upset/incident it is easier to find oneself getting wound up by those people. if it was someone else doing it you may not notice, but because of previous history you do.

what they said does not seem too bad.... but then again, I have not read the "history" and context is important.

ah, yes i remember. I think the only reasonable response to his "you can only come if you bring dc" text is "fuck off". Seething on your behalf newmummy!