Is DM being unreasonable & sneaky?

[BoobleBeep]

DB is getting married in a month, initially he didn't want anyone there as he can't afford a big do. He has since invited DH and I plus our 3 DC's & my mum & dad, who have been divorced for 17 years.

DB really doesn't want a fuss but our mum is now insisting our dad's GF of a year cannot come & feels that DB should invite his step sisters who he doesn't know very well because they live with our mother and she will be embarrassed if they aren't invited. She is also dropping hints that he should invite our uncle and aunt who we don't really know.

She also wants teh reception held at her house, our father isn't keen on this.
Both parents have been re-married (and re-divorced) since there own divorce and have met the other's partners at family events so there is no reason for my mother to be difficult about this.

Is she being unreasonable?

i think your bro should uninvite everyone again i think your DM is being petty and unreasonable, and it's not what your DB needs to be worrying about on his wedding day!

Totally agree with Stacey!

Yes, it's not her wedding. Your brother and his wife can get married wherever and however they want and invite whoever they want. It's their day. People don't have to go if they don't like it.

That's what I think, I feel really sorry for DB

She IS BU, yes. It's his wedding...and as she has been invited, she isn't missing out. To try to take over and re-organise things as SHE sees fit, is very wrong.

Tell your bro to politely, but firmly, stick to his guns.

It is almost as if she is trying to spite my Dad or make him feel a bit left out

He should just invite who he wants and not even enter into discussions about random relatives. That or his fiance may go all bridezilla on DM's arse!

YANBU - your mum is being a cowbag.

Tell her she's pushing DB and his fiance close to jsut eloping without any of you, and if she wants to be at DB's wedding, she should just accept the day he wants.

OR tell your DB and DSIL-2b that you wouldn't be offended if they cancel and just go away to get married without you or anyone else there. Also tell them you're prepared to back them up if they stand up to your mum and tell her she has to uninvite everyone she's invited to someone else's wedding. And that they will pick where they want their reception, if she wants to have a rival event at her house, she's welcome to, but the bride and groom won't be at it.

Your brother needs to tell your Mum she is invited not the bride. She has two choices - to come or not. End of.

But she's not exactly the first Mum to do this kind of thing

... and I'd do as the others have said too - either tell him you'll back him if he does it, or just tell her straight up she's out of line and risks being uninvited!

Yep he needs to uninvite everyone.
Your mum needs to butt out

Tell DB that you are totally behind him, and that you will support him whatever he decides, and that he should just go it alone if he wants to. The only person who loses out and is totally innocent is your poor dad. If I was DB, I'd invite dad and leave mum out!