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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be 36 weeks pregnant, stressed and emotional?

6 replies

lottielou39 · 08/11/2011 10:11

I had a stressful time at the start of this pregnancy, falling pregnant on the mini pill not long after a missed miscarriage (i took the pill perfectly, so it was a shock), but we were happy because we'd always secretly longed for a third child, but never had the guts to just go for it. I then had a big bleed at about 8 weeks and totally convinced I'd miscarried (to the point where I didn't speak to a doctor or have a scan, it was exactly like my previous miscarriage, so I had no reason to doubt).. roll on a few weeks later and pregnancy tests still positive- finally get a scan 7 weeks after what I thought was my miscarriage to discover I was in fact 15 weeks pregnant and there was a healthily developing baby with nothing on the scan to indicate why the huge bleed occurred.
So, the pregnancy started off from quite a stressful place. I'm 38, so was also stressed about that. I already have two healthy daughters, who I gave birth to in my late twenties. Am I too old this time? Am I pushing my luck? Will the baby be OK? Despite the fact that my screening test (quad test, was too late for the nuchal fold) was a nice low risk result, I still can't help worrying. Someone told me that these blood tests are more accurate in older women because you start off at a disadvantage just based on age alone. Apparently most older Mums get high risk result on quad test, so my low risk result is hopeful, I'm thinking.
And I'm worried about the birth now too- who will look after the girls when I go into labour? I've got a list of my daughters friends Mums who've said they'll babysit, but none close enough to knock on their doors at 2am(have lived here 5 years, so they're friends, but not very close friends)...husband works in London, so takes him at least an hour to get back home. I just hope I go into labour overnight, and the contractions build up gradually over several hours as happened the last two times! My Mother, who lives 250 miles away, has offered to come down and stay from 39 weeks on (my girls were born at 39 weeks) which is quite reassuring, but at the same time has the potential to drive me insane; my Mother being there at what is one of the most stressful, intense times.. recipe for disaster, or should I just relinquish a bit of control and let her help me? Hopefully I won't go overdue because that would entail her staying with us for at least a fortnight- arrrgghhhhhhh, I need a drink, (but can't have one for another few weeks!) .. I won't mention the fact that I can't sleep, have hip pain, mild SPD, constipation and a tendency to burst into tears at the slightest thing. I thought pregnancy was supposed to be all wonderfully natural and instinctive? And I won't mention that, despite having a textbook straightforward (but painful as hell) birth last time, I'm petrified of giving birth again.
Tell me I'm not the only one to have these worries!

OP posts:
fraktious · 08/11/2011 10:18

YANBU at all.

Congratulations! You're going to have a baby soon Grin that's really exciting so focus on that most of all.

How good is your mother at doing what she's told? If she can follow the instructions you give from the sofa I'd have her there despite the potential for clashes. Sometimes it's nice to be mothered Wink

You don't know until you ask about your friends. I'd do it for an acquaintance/friend in need and lots of others would too, particularly if you can find, say, 5 people to take a night or two each around your EDD just to have them until your mother arrives or DH can take over.

Good luck.

lottielou39 · 08/11/2011 10:23

I started my maternity leave today, so I have more time to sit on my bum and worry too! Should have worked until I go into labour, so I have no time to think!

OP posts:
spookshowangellovesit · 08/11/2011 10:32

all mums worry about this stuff and more. i spent up till my 20wks scan convinced my baby was going to have a cleft pallet due to medication i took, now that that has been dispelled i am now worrying about as yet undisclosed possible brain development problems due to the medication.
so i wont know that until she is well in to her twos and threes, good to have something to think about. Grin

lottielou39 · 08/11/2011 10:53

and my husband is as chilled and relaxed as possible! It's not fair!
(off to put my hypnobirthing CD on and attempt to relax)

OP posts:
mumofthreekids · 08/11/2011 12:15

OP, I think many people will step up to the plate in an emergency and nearly all mums love a new baby!

If you were a friend of mine, or even an aquaintance, I would be delighted to help out with your DDs for a few hours if you went into labour and needed cover while your mum or DH made their journey - yes, even if it was 2am! It's completely different to asking for normal babysitting.

So personally I'd go with that option rather than having your mum to stay for up to 3 weeks - and I am speaking as someone with a good relationship with my mum.

Good luck with the birth.

lottielou39 · 08/11/2011 18:09

Thanks guys! Yes, 3 weeks with my Mother might be pushing it a bit far, might just tip me over the edge.
To add to todays stress, I had an antenatal appointment today at half 4, didn't get seen until 5, had to bring both girls in with me, and they were completely painful. One was making fart jokes, the other joking and being silly when the midwife was talking. I told them off repeatedly. Even the midwife had to tell them off. (blush) Was going to take them in the lovely local sweet shop afterwards, but changed my mind. (evil mother, eh?). I wouldn't mind if they were toddlers, but aibu to expect an almost 9 and almost 12 year old to behave at the midwife?

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