AIBU not to accept this money?

[mushroomsforgetthemselves]

I'm pg with DC4 and5.

My great uncle has died and they are in the process of dealing with money etc.
He didn't have a will. Was never married and has no children. Due to certain people being dead and things I am getting a fair chunk of money.

I hated this man - he was a mean, alcoholic, racists, criminal thug. My grandparents didn't like him and never had anything to do with him and neither did my parents.
We only really saw him walking down street somtimes or maybe at other family funerals standing at the back.

I don't want the money as I said he was a horrible person.

Except it would help with 2 new DCs with 3 others under 10, we could put some of it in the kids uni fund, or finally get around to doing the kitchen, or just have a bit more money in the bank

AIBU to not accept the money? even if it would help?

Taking the money does not mean you agree with his opinions - it's ok not to like him. Please take the money and put it to good use!!!

Oh FFS! there is a recession woman, where do you want money to go, to the tax man????

Porcamiseria has a good point, where will the money go if you don't have it?

Take the money, enjoy it, don't feel you owe his memory because you have done. It's just cash, not about him. Dont buy a particular thing with it so you won't be thinking "this is the dining table XXX bought" everytime you use it, just put it in the general pot/savings (and add too it so it's not all 'his money') or pay down bills/mortgage, then it's not associated with him.

Take it for your DC. There will have been some good stuff about this person too, even if you don't know about it.

It is an emotional time for you at the moment and you are obviously finding it hard to make the decision.. Why don't you accept the money, put it in a savings account and then take time to decide. If you decide when you have had longer to weight it up, not to keep it, you could just donate it to charity. Maybe a charity tackling racism might be apt? Or you may decide to keep it.

But tbh with his recent death and your pregnancy you are probably not in the right place at the moment to make a decision that you will be comfortable with long term. In the medium to longer term, you will become more sure of what to do imo.

I agree with soandsomummy. Who knows why he was disliked so much?People take to alcohol and criminal acytivities because of something underlying in their lived. Think about it. One of your children might be ther eone day.

He cared enough to attend family funerals (presumably people he knew - and someone had told him about them - a family member?) so you should care enough to accept ensure that his money stays in the family.

If you take it you can set it aside and decide later.

If it helps and you want to use it, then you will have it.

If you decide you can't bear to have it, give it to a charity.

Don't just let it be eaten up by the taxman or whatever and then regret it later.

You are being daft. Take the money and do something good with it.

Incidentally, where would the money go if you don't take it?

Take the money, you would be daft not to. You need it to help with your dc, just see it as a means to an end.

Take the money.
My GF was a similar kind of person and my mum (who hated him for various reasons) inherited enough to send me and my sis to University which turns the money into something really positive (well, 3 years of boozing each but was well worth it)

I would take it and use it to help your own children in the future. Get them on the property ladder, help them with their education etc. He might have been horrible, but the money is coming to you as a right, so you should use it to do some good at last. Maybe give some to a charity as well that you feel strongly about. But don't turn this down as you can use it positively.

Take the money for your childrens benefit.

I recently inherited a sum of money from a dear relative and feel that I must buy something specific to honour him. In my case I am thinking of purchasing a piece of jewellery as my relative was special to me. If however, my circumstances were like yours I would take the money and use it for the general good of your children.

Money does not stink. Take it.

Gawd just take it.

Snubbing his money won't have any effect will it, he's dead.

Just take it.

love your principles. You come across as a decent person. take the money and don't feel bad. I know what he did wasn't nice but think of it as a way to help the family so that at least the money was put to some good.

If you hated him that much, take it just to spite him. Use it to raise open-minded and tolerant children.

I said in a previous post that you should take it for your children if no other reason. It is not just you or your children but what about their children? It will be extremely useful in the future.

I think I'd take the money. Put it into trust for your children's future if you don;t want to spend it on yourself.

I'd also make some charitable donations with it, maybe 10% of the total split between organisations that help overcome racism, women's aid, help families of alcoholics, victim support maybe? anything you think the Uncle would not have approved of....