Facebook

[septembergirl17]

AIBU, I use facebook to contact my friends and family so I know everyone who is a friend and am happy to share family photos etc with them. My sister uses it for the same but also as a dating site as she is single. We normally share all photos of our kids but just recently I have started to become a little uncomfortable with sharing photos of my kids as she will accept anyone who requests to be her friend (males) so she has lots of men from every corner of the planet and she does not know them from adam , they are not even friends of friends. Of course it is up to her how she wants to meet men that is none of my business but it is just the issue with the pictures of my kids, am I just being a little paranoid .....AIBU not to want to share any pics with her ?

yabu in making the men comment
but just set your privacy settings so she can't see your photos

What, precisely, are you afraid of? That these men will see pictures of your children? Do you put bags over their head when you take them out of the house? Because, you know, thousands of strangers have seen them if not.

What's the difference?

Ya I suppose I am maybe feeling a bit precious about family shots not wanting to put them on "public deplay" , standedbear I am not the most techie person so probably wrong but I thought that if I sent pictures to my sister then her friends could see them, even if they are not my friends ? is that not the case unless the are mutual friends ??

*display I meant to say

I think you need to chill a little bit. If you're on FB and have your settings set to your liking then that's all you can do. If your sister has pics on her fb page then, as long as they aren't tagged, I suppose, what's the problem.

I think what I'm trying to say is, Unless you specify to
your Sis you're unhappy then you have to put up with this sort of thing. (Of course, you know not all men have dishonourable intentions)

Hate FB.

Make sure you don't have your home address on Facebook and make sure there aren't any photos of your children without clothes on, otherwise I can't see what the problem is.

If you have your settings for friends only then no one else can see your pics - if you are not comfortable with your sister putting pics of you children on her facebook then just tell her, I am sure she will understand.

I can understand your caution as you are wary of strangers looking at your pictures.

Your sisters friends will be able to see photos of yours if either you or your sister have tagged her in the photos. If she isn't tagged AND you have your settings to only make the album visable to your friends (not friends of friends) then your siter's friends will not be able to see your photos.

You can set privacy settings so that 'only friends' can see your photos not 'friends of friends'. I think that should cover it.

X posted with strandedbear, sorry

This really annoys me.

You're 'not the most techy person' and you thought blah blah blah

There's no need to think anything with Facebook...just read and understand the privacy settings!

It was on the news the other day that 1 in 5 people have never looked through and changed their privacy settings from default to private.

So if you have put your kid's photos on the internet, you'll have to expect people to actually look at them....oh and some of them will be dreaded men.

OP I got nervous about privacy too as I had photos of DS as well as photos of my house and village on FB.

I changed my privacy settings so that only my own friends can see my photos, and NOT friends of friends.

I think you can also enable a setting that means you are notified if someone tags you in a photo so you can control photos of yourself being tagged/shared.

I would suggest you either give it a go at privacy setting yourself (it's not dead easy but it's manageable) or ask someone to help if you're not confident enough.

Op you don't say how old your kids are but to err on the side of caution:

• change your privacy settings on your photo albums to friends only
• take off any pics of your kids without clothes on or in school uniforms (uniforms can make it easy to identify where your children are everyday between 9 and 3)
• don't tag pics of your kids with their full names, Joe not Joe Bloggs is current advice, or don't tag them at all
• maybe consider not putting pics of your kids on fb in the first place as it isn't that secure if you're worried
• ask your sister not to put pics of your kids on her fb as you have no control over them.

I've done loads of training with adults and young people about protecting themselves online and it completely negates all the hard work we do if parents do the complete opposite to what we recommend to their children.
There's loads of advice online in how to do your privacy settings on fb if you're not sure :)

You need to check your privacy settings so that only your friends can see the photos on your FB page. In addition, you need to make sure that you are notified if you are tagged in a friend's photos. That way, you can detag yourself so that any stranger looking at the photos on your sister's page won't know who you are or be able to contact you via FB. That doesn't stop your sister putting whatever she wants on her page and making it open to the whole world, but at least you and your DCs are not identified. Presumably, your DCs are too young to have their own FB pages, in which case they can't be tagged in their own names. If they do have their own FB pages, then presumably they are teenagers, since this is the FB rule on minimum age, and should be well aware of the dangers of communicating with strangers on the internet. If they aren't, you need to address this, and if they are younger than teens, you need to take them off FB.

sorry, X post with handbagCrab, pretty much same advice.

My fb is totally locked down, only my very small friends list can even see I'm on there if they search. Just do that if you're worried.

Thanks everyone for their advice, yes I have set my pics etc to friends only when I opened the account but was more worried about the pics on sister's page,I assure you I am far more trusting of people in real life ! lol( it's cyberspace that I am a bit caution with)I have worked in the fraud dept for many years at a bank so have seen what can be done.I am also not anti-man lol, I have a fab hubby, father, brothers and have never been mistreated by men so those who say "chill out" it's alright I am not having sleepless nights or anything. And worraliberty you shouldn't get annoyed so easily it's no good for your health and your probably best not reading the forums

And that coming from someone who's 'probably best' not putting their children's photos on the internet if they're so worried about strangers viewing them?

You couldn't make it up LOL

Septembergirl - could you not ask your sister to not put pics of your children on her facebook, I am sure she would understand if you explained your reasons. i have asked friends not to publish pictures of my daughter before and they have been absolutely fine about it.

You're a little sensitive, me saying you need to 'Chill' means just that. Don't sweat it.