to choose a school just outside of town/village

[tryingtobemarypoppins2]

DH thinks this will social exclude DS and that he won't feel as part of the community.

AIBU to choose the school that I think is better for him?

Depends on your definition of "better for him". For me, it was important that my children went to a local school that they could walk to and be part of a community. Hence I chose a school that was "worse" (in e.g. academic ways) than others I might have selected.

Think you and DH need to agree your priorities for a school.

My mum sent me to school across te whole city. I did like it but it was frustrating as the local kids could hang out so much easier.

I did feel a bit on the outskirts and as all my best friends were from school, I felt like I didn't really want to be out or hang
Out with the kids from my area

My kids are going to
The best local school... Or I'm moving

Perhaps should add this is Primary. Local school is large, school I like is 3 miles away and has class sizes of 20.

I would always go with the better school - I did it!
You need to be sure it is the best for you and your DS. If people want to exclude you from the community then are they nice people! ?
Anyway - he will be part of the community - just a different one. Maybe he will be able to do cubs etc and have 2 sets of friends like my kids!

But what will happen at
Secondary? Will he be seperated from his friends and go off to different schools etc? Will he go to their feeder school?

Just from my own experiences I do still say local is better if you can and the school isn't totally wank lol

Oh 3
Miles is sod all. My experience was based on like.... 10 miles if not
More

Do you have a village school. Is it for Primary age?
I am a strong believer in supporting the village community and I sent my children to the school. It's a good little school and they love it.
I know a few parents in the village have sent their children to the schools in neighbouring villages, which scored better in the league tables compared to our village school. I am not convinced a few more points is worth the journey and a general separation from the children in the village.
I can understand your DH opinion on the social aspect. My kids have lots of friends in the village. Those children who do not attend the school do seem a bit left out. Especially at village fundraisers etc. where we all meet up and the children run around together.
Play dates are easy as you can just pick them and the friend up from the school.
Why would you want to travel further for school runs too?
I am not saying it's wrong, but I am interested why your village school is not good enough? How do you know if the school is not good enough until he tries it?
Does that help?

Do what you feel is best for your child. At my ons school, very few children live within walking distance. There is still a sense of community, and people still go to each others to play.

My kids go to school 3 miles away and I do think they miss out a bit on village life.

I did it. Local schools to me were out for a range of reasons. One was HUGE with 120 a year intake. 1 was failing very badly, and another not far behind.

I chose the school 1.8miles away, but a ten minute drive. I love it, and even though we arent walking distance, it turns out quite a lot that school year came from further afield so we arent the only ones from this town going into that village school.

Go for it.

Secondary schools are odd here. The CofE secondary most want to get their children into (in the next large town) only took 4 children from our local school. It is unlikley he will known many whichever school we choose. We would move closer to the larger town closer to the time and try to get involved in clubs/sports over that way.

We had exactly the same situation. DS1 quite shy and I was attracted by the small class sizes. It was 6 miles away.
It was a great school but I had failed to realise that I would be doing that round trip twice a day (in all weathers) for years and years as DS2 went there as well.
It turned out a lot of people had the same idea and lots were doing the same trip so they did have local friends.

Our local school has had a VERY up and down past. It is much improved and the head even sends his children there BUT the reception class was really disappointing when we looked around. The older years looked really good, engaged and calm etc but the little ones were bored and some bahviour was 'interesting'.

The other school is small. It has 20 in a class, set in beautiful grounds, has a pool, invests in music so every child learns an instrument. My only worry is that out of 5 main teaching staff (including the head) only 1 remains from the Outstanding ofsted 3 years ago, and as they got outstanding they wont have another ofsted unless results fall. WDYT?

Sparklingbrook but have you been happy and would you have done anything differently?

Yes they both did really well there and the small class sizes are definitely an advantage. I did it purely because DS1 was so painfully shy though and the local school was huge and I was a bit worried.

DS2 is a different personality and would have maybe been ok at the huge school within walking distance.

I definitely got a feeling when I visited the small school that it was the right thing to do.

Local school was in special measures... I sent DD to the primary in the next village. She made local friends, she had her school friends, and then when she was 11 they all went up to High School together so the (non-existent) problem was solved. She was in local clubs in our town too.

She definitely had an advantage going to the smaller school with 9 in the class as opposed to the local school which had 20+.