Good evening,
I am writing to you this evening because, once again, the issues between X and Y have come to a head and I understand Mrs Z will be talking to you about them.
Unfortunately I did behave inappropriately this morning as I did get upset in the classroom and point at Y whilst explaining that X was not in class and why. I have apologised to Mrs Z. Whilst it is no excuse, I have basically reached the end of my tether. X hates coming to school, it is a battle from the moment he gets up and there is one common theme - Y. This morning he had what I would classify as a panic attack and was extremely distressed. As his mother, I feel terrible that I send him every day to be potentially bullied and this morning I snapped.
This evening I have had a lengthy conversation with Mrs Z. I also had to answer the accusation of whether the changes in X home life is causing him any anxiety. If we were experiencing any issues regarding our personal circumstances I would inform the school; bear in mind I did email the school when I separated from my husband. I have also said to Mrs W that I needed to know if X was upset because of Y or whether it is a smokescreen because he is upset about his parents separating but X has not mentioned this to her or any other member of staff or to myself or his father. I would like you to know that at home X is perfectly happy, he is also happy at his Dads house. We had a lovely day off together on Friday walking the dog and such like, despite X asking to go home on Wednesday and Thursday, X was not ill. Mrs Z said that she thinks he was ill as she said he was pale and would not eat his lunch however may I refer you to the signs and symptoms of bullying as described by Kidscape:
www.kidscape.org.uk/assets/downloads/PrimaryCare2004-LindaFrostTalk.pdf
X has been punched, strangled, scratched, kicked, pinched, thrown in the bamboo bush and had hurtful comments made to him over a period of 4 years since Year 1 and he is now faking illnesses to avoid school and having panic attacks coming to school. Enough is enough. We have reached a point where X now says there is no point telling a teacher as it doesn't change anything and after 4 years I do tend to agree.
At this point, I am at a loss as to what to do. I would be grateful for any advice you can give as I have tried everything: talking about his feelings to get it out of his system, not talking about it in case it is escalating the issues, telling him to tell the teacher, telling him to not hit back, to not listen, to run away, telling him to hit back (but he won't), telling him to let him play with him, telling him not to play with him for example. I have considered moving X to a different school but I have to consider my other children and I find it highly unjust that I should even have to think moving X to another school because of one child. Please could the school give me some clear guidelines on how I can support my son? What do I do in the morning to get him to come to school without hiding under the covers, refusing to eat breakfast or get dressed, leave the house, get in the car, get out of the car or actually go into in his class without crying? Mrs Z said that X is particularly immature in his peer group, please can you suggest how I can help him be more mature?
Please can you also not discuss this with X or Y as on previous occasions when they have been to your office to get to the bottom of it, Y has told the class what has happened and then has ostracised X from the boys in his class at playtime which has just exacerbated the problem.
Once again, I do apologise for my behaviour this morning, however I now hope that someone will now listen to me and most importantly that someone will listen to X.
Me