Quick advice on how to deal with her please?

[laluna]

Friend and I have had a fairly long term arrangement for a shopping day tomorrow. We both work shifts and this was a rare opportunity to spend the day together - childcare arranged etc. Really looking forward to it til 10 mins ago when she texts me to say that x will be joining us. I have known x for sometime and she is really good friends with shopping friend. However, over the years I have made the decision to distance myself from her. I find her negative, rude, a bit self centred, a show off and generally one of those drain type people. She really gets me down. Don't want her to come. Not sure what to do - feel disappointed and a bit peeved.

What did you do on the end?

I wouldn't go either. Like others have said, there is just no point in spending the day with someone you don't like. It won't be relaxing or enjoyable for you. I would go elsewhere and do something else on your own.

Update ...

I was busy after school/tea time running DD and DS to clubs so really had to text her as I wasn't going to see her face to face til the morning and x would be there too (they are inseparable in the playground!).

I apologised for texting - said would have preferred to speak in person but was busy with the kids. Said that I had been really looking forward to spending the day with her but that I didn't want to be the third person who made the crowd. I said that I hope she had a nice day with x and that hopefully we could arrange another time or words to that effect.

Felt a bit of a weight was listed then got a reply - v odd- saying she couldn't go after all because of her husband's hospital appointment! Really! ?!?!?!

Feel I have subtly made a point about x though which is good as it has been festering a but inside me. So looking forward to a day on my own - Westfield here I come!

Why did you say that? About not wanting to be the 3rd person? That just sounds stroppy and slightly possessive/jealous. Think some of the earlier suggestions were better.
Sorry.

Yep maybe clam but that's how I feel. I didn't want to be direct about x and when they are together, I am made fun of and excluded. The day was about shopping friend and I - not the three of us. Just wanted to convey that.

If your good friend makes fun of you and excludes you when the other woman is there too, perhaps she isn't as good a friend as you think, laluna? I would seriously consider ditching her too, then they can act like schoolgirls together.

Yeah - there is some history which I am hurt about and am finding it hard to move on from but made a decision that as her ds is best friends with my ds, it is a case of better the devil you know. Sometimes, I am not so sure though.

Took the words out of my mouth there ILMMC but well said and much better than l would have done.

SO if you hadn't texted would she have told you? Was she still expecting you to go ahead with x?

YANBU really looking forward to a rare day treat, but i have had a similar experiance when i have done exactly that tried to distance my self from someone and been forced to spend time with them and i have found the run up to it worse than the actual event. I wind myself up and end up getting cross all over again but on actually meeting up with her found it was not actually as bad as i had built it up in my head. Go, try and have fun, if it is as bad as you think you can always cut it short!! You might enjoy it.

got a reply - v odd- saying she couldn't go after all because of her husband's hospital appointment

That's weird. God female friendships can be such a drag sometimes!

Sounds a bit juvenile really. You tell her you can't go, and she replies saying "but I couldn't go first!"
Like she wouldn't have known about the hospital appointment?
You're better off out of it. Nicer time on your own.