TO THINK MY IGNORANT SISTER SHOULD JUST FUCK THE FUCK OFF

[Shinyshoes1]

I am in the middle of a court trial atm (won't namechange just dont see the point)

My children were sexually abused by a very trusted member of the family

My youngest sister is very ignorant and ill educated saying 'Parents should know if their children are being sexually abused ' amongst other BS and ill information she spouts

She has not ONCE phoned me and my children to see how we all are. She knows we are in the middle of a court trial but instead bleats on about her and her 'handsome boys'

AIBU to think a phone call or email wouldnt go amiss

I think you're better off not hearing from her if that's the crap she spouts.

I wouldn't waste your time being angry with your sister. Use your energy to focus on your DCs.

I hope it goes well

I am so sorry and hope the trial goes as well as it can.

It sounds like you are better off not having your sister around.

I'm really sorry you are going through this, and someone like a sister is adding to your misery.

I wonder who is telling you about her useful thoughts, if she's not actually talking to you herself? Sometimes you need to kill the messenger.

Maybe she is very very scared that she's missed something/feels somehow the ripples of it. Not that it excuses her behaviour, but it would explain her emphatic ideas on the situation. It can't possibly have happened to her "handsome boys" (despite them being handsome, as if that's got anything to do with it), as SHE would know desperately needs to believe that she wouldn't have missed something like this . I know this is no time to be feeling bad for her, but as the others have said, you're better off focusing on your own precious children and your own journey, not taking any notice of her.

Although i can see the benefits of seething about something easier to get your head around. Crap sisters are loads easier to vent about than the abuse situation. I know.

Thinking of you and your kids. Hope the case ends as you hope it to, and that it helps you move on to the next stage of all your lives. S

So sorry for what you are going through, this must be a terrible time for you and your children.

If you do want to stay in contact with her I suggest that she is given a strict talking to by you or another family member about appropriate behaviour around you. She may not like it but she cannot go on being so insensitive without you ending up blowing up at her.

I'm going to take a wild stab in the dark and suggest the "bleating on" about her handsome boys is on Facebook?

But as already's been said, sounds like you're better off with her not in your life at the moment.

so sorry you're going through this.

Unfortunately I think this kind of reaction is not all that uncommon, although most people have the sensitivity not to express it publically.

Am not defending your sister's reaction, but often I think it's a protective mechanism. Nobody wants to believe that this sort of thing can happen to their child without them having known about it. You only have to look at threads about crimes that have been committed against children and so often the question is asked as to "how the mother didn't know/she must have known..." etc. Presumably this family member is a family member of your sister's as well? As such she may well be feeling a bit of "there but for the grace of God," iyswim, but her way of expressing that is to suggest that surely you must have known, because she would have known/not had it happen to her children.

It is crass and insensitive of her, there's no doubt about that. But her motives may be born out of fear rather than anything else..

I agree with "but often I think it's a protective mechanism. Nobody wants to believe that this sort of thing can happen to their child without them having known about it."

This reminds me of when my mum died of cancer. People would say "oh did she ignore the symptoms?" etc as it makes them feel less scared, as otherwise it could happen to anyone including themselves. (she did not btw)

I thinks its a defense mechanism as if 'it wouldn't happen to me i'd know' as a comfort,
however very insensitive and crass

tbh I would cut her out.