to really want to cut costs as much as possible for my wedding?

[justelliotandme]

I'm getting married soon and DP has left it up to me to sort every aspect of it out. All he cares about is that we're making some very important vows to each other, and that's the most important thing to him. If I ask him anything about it, he completely agrees with whatever I say, but is very helpful in helping me prepare things, ie making the invitations and driving me to places for bits and bobs for our big day.

I don't want us to go into debt over our wedding day and so have drawn up a few plans to save money. I would like to know if any of them are 'must haves' or 'must do's' and can't be cut on our big day without causing a few of the guests to walk away with a cat's bum face.

So, the plans I have are;

No buttonholes or bridesmaid bouquets, just artificial (but very real looking one) for me. We'll have artificial (but again real looking) flowers from ebay decorating the reception room which will be a function suite in local hotel.

Normal, co-ordinating smart suits for groom and best man from Asda probably with waistcoats and ties second hand from ebay.

Both mine and DP's parents will make a cold finger food buffet for reception (but make it posh as possible and present it lovely as can be)

Wedding breakfast will be just a three course meal in a normal, local country pub with about 50 guests who can sit wherever they like. Don't want to organise people into seating plans, so long as DP and I and both our parents can all sit on one table.

We will probaly get offers of help from friends (one is florist who i'm sure will offer to make button holes and flowers for the church etc for our wedding present and another friend is a caterer who specialises in wedding catering), but if they don't offer, is it really so bad to do the above to save a bit of money?

Trois I've been a smuggled in wedding guest before now - it was so exciting!

We had a very economical wedding - my dad had just lost his job a few weeks before my big announcement.

I bought my dress in the sales - wore a summer dress in the autumn.
I made the bridesmaid dresses (further economised by buying a whole roll of the fabric).
We had silk flowers, made by a friend. Cake made by a friend (all paid for at mates' rates).
We didn't have flowers in the cars, or any that were left in the church. We did have buttonholes, but it was a package deal of bouquets and buttonholes.
We had just a toast and one drink, then cash bar (sensible for my relatives anyway).
We just invited immediate relatives (up to aunts and uncles) to the meal, then had an evening reception for cousins and friends.

The biggest saving was having the wedding on a Thursday instead of Saturday. I think the reception rates were 50% discount.

We felt that we had a proper church wedding, and did not notice the economising, particularly. It is silly to get into debt for a wedding. The minimum costs of a church wedding are really pretty low. You could easily have a very good do for less than £1000.

I been to a wedding that was a buffet in a country pub and that was great. It is so much easier to mingle when it is a buffet instead of a formal sit down meal with seating plan.

I went to a wedding recently where all the bridesmaids wore differnt dresses (same colour) and that was great too. If you think about it, the idea of wearing a uniform is not always the most flattering if you have one bridesmaid who is tall and skinny and another who is short and dumpy. Not everyone can pull off strapless, etc.

Enjoy making your plans!

Have the men bought about renting rather than buying their suits? My DH did that (from Debenhams) and looked great. We just bought matching ties for all the men in the wedding party.

Oh, and YADNBU!

bought about = thought about

I agree it is crazy to go into debt to satisfy somebody else's/disney's idea of what a wedding ought to be.

My advice is don't buy wedding mags and don't think that what you are trying to do is a standard wedding on the cheap. Instead think about what you would like for your celebration - people you like, something nice to wear, something nice for everyone to eat and drink and some good music and go with that - everyone will enjoy themselves. Make sure you let them know it's going to be low key, so they don't feel like they have to go out and buy a hat.

You really don't need bridesmaids at a registry office wedding.

Personally I wouldn't have fake flowers any more than I'd have a fake cake. Decide on the things you want and don't feel like you have to fake the rest.

You will enjoy it more because you haven't overspent and overplanned it.

do a couple of wedding-y things, but not all - a big cake made by a mate (but not fruitcake with rock hard icing - no one really likes it ), a bouquet of flowers for you, and a glass of bubbly for all. I stopped there - no bridesmaids, no flower arrangements, no fancy cars, no professional photos, no hair and make up appointment, no bottomless bar, no wedding list.

Maybe do something else cheap and charming - like having a big sheet of nice card and fancy pens for everyone to write a message on the day.

.

I went to a wedding earlier this year. The couple had a thousand pounds to spend on EVERYTHING. They got hitched at the registary office with just witnesses in the morning then had a ceremony in a barn they hired out later in the day for about 70 people.

The bride made her dress and three bridesmaid dresses.
They did ALL the food themselves with help from family. They made up picnic hampers and put one on each table.
Friends and family, decorated the barn using christmas lights, sunflowers and ivy.
I did all the flowers (despite never done a flower arrangement in my life) using flowers from friends gardens and various types of flowers. They looked amazing if I say so myself!
They got me and another friend to do all the photography.
They got a local band to do music in the evening.
We camped overnight and had a BBQ for breakfast in the morning.

I can honestly say it made the day so much more special and memoriable to get everyone chipping in and working together to make the day special for the couple. We all had an amazing weekend and all really made friends over the course of the weekend rather than simply having the usual polite conversation. EVERYONE said it was one of the best weddings they had ever been to.

IMHO If you having a family wedding this is really what it should be about. Not having everything 'perfect'. It only sets yourself up for disappointment anyway. The couple were so laid back and in the end just let everyone do what they thought worked best rather than controlling every last detail. They were so busy running around, that they never saw the barn until they arrived for the ceremony and their faces were wonderful seeing the surprise at the transformation. They appreciated everything on the day in a way I don't think they could possibly have done if they had bought it all in.

They managed to keep to budget.

Me and DH eloped to Sweden to avoid all the drama as we felt it was just about us and we didn't want the drama of it all.

Weddings are about making your vows and you and your husband. They are not about having all the trimmings.

Are fake flowers really cheaper? We bought seasonal flowers wholesale, and my MIL whipped up bouquets etc on the day.

Dinner for 50 doesn't sound budget - but I'm sure it'll be lovely. I'd make sure to book though!