to think Dp shouldn't be such a selfish git?

[ZeldaUpNorth]

[The other day i told him that the tesco clubcard exchange is on and that i'd had a look and couldn't really see anything on there for the kids so if he wanted anything let me know. (i've got £50 worth so £100 to spend)

This morning he gets up and says "oh you can use them on aftershave so i'll just have 3 bottles of that" I said "i didnt say you could have ALL the vouchers" He then goes off on one saying i'd said he can have them all (i didnt cos there is 1 thing i wanted for dd1 on there which i'd told him about another time) Also what about me? I'd love some new clothes but as usual put kids and him 1st. He can have 1 bottle of after shave but not bloody 3.

Dp seems to pick out bits of what i'm saying up then adds the bits in the middle.

Sorry bit of a rant there but i just wish he'd listen to what i was saying without me having to speak slowly like i was talking to a child (which i do do if its a really important thing)

I can see his point here...

The other day i told him that the tesco clubcard exchange is on and that i'd had a look and couldn't really see anything on there for the kids so if he wanted anything let me know

To me that says, you told him there wasnt anything on there for the kids, or that you wanted, so did he want anything. You were offering him the vouchers.

Why does he want THREE bottles? The mind boggles.

YANBU.

My dh is lovely and if said to him what you said to your dh, he would probably ask for loads too. But that is because he can be very simple. If it were the other way round, I know he would spend it on the dc and I because he really is very generous. But somethimes generous and thoughtful don't go together!

He also only listens to half of what I say, I have grown used to spelling things out and ensuring information has reached his brain if it's important. Just mentioning something doesn't amount to my dh being informed about it.

Dp seems to pick out bits of what i'm saying up then adds the bits in the middle

This is so true! My dh does it and I end up wanting to scream 'If you would just listen to what I am saying instead of listening to half of it and then trying to find something in your own head to fit in with what you think I'm saying, both our lives would be much easier!'

OP YANBU.

It's a bit greedy to want three bottles, just because you asked him if he wanted anything that doesn't translate that he can have the whole lot!

He didn't even consider that you may have wanted something......

It sounds like a misunderstanding. Use some of them for him and some for you.

You sound a little martyrish TBH. If you had been upfront and just said to him "We have £100 to spend - I'm buying X for DD and xyz clothes for myself. Do you want anything?" then the conversation would have been different.

Just sounds like a bit of a miscommunication to me...

Three bottles? Must be cheap aftershave then! lol

You asked him if he wanted anything, so he told you what he wanted, what's the issue? Just say you wanted some too... don't you talk to each other? :(

I think YANBU.

I would never assume that if someone told me we had an unexpected £100 to spend and 'did I want anything' that the whole amount was for me. We are a family after all.

Also, to ask for 3 of the same thing? Does he bathe in aftershave or something? He should stop throwing his toys out of the pram because you won't buy him several duplicates of the aftershave he likes!

Giant misunderstanding by the sound of it.

Compromise. He gets one bottle and you can use the rest for something else.

Well, you haven't put him first, because you have earmarked some of it for yourself and told him, and us, that. No reason why you shouldn't do that of course.

It all sounds a bit shouty.