To have half-expected a birthday card from dh, never mind a present, not just a last minute bunch of flowers?

[MrsJasonBourne]

I was rushing around town yesterday to buy, among other things, a card, present & wrap for a little girl I hardly know whose party we were invited to.

So it's my birthday today and the last minute rush that dh went off on yesterday was for a bunch of flowers. They're nice flowers, but no card, or present. He knows damn well my favourite author always has a book out around my birthday and he couldn't even manage a quick Amazon order. Even the card he got the dc's to write in was an old one that came free in the post with something.

I mean he did go out yesterday. He could have at least got a card to write something nice in. And recently he was on about replacing a ring of mine that broke.

AIBU? Should I just resign myself to a life of being taken for granted? I know worse things happen but just feel a bit sad about it.

Cards on my B'day make me feel loved and appreciated. If my DH ever forgot he knows that life would not be worth living. I do remind people from about 2 weeks before at least. He even asks permission before being away on our wedding anniversary. Sorry if its child ish but making me feel appreciated isn't childish. Birthdays etc. are an excuse to be spoilt, get treats and eat out etc.

Happy Birthday OP!
Well just about the same thing happened to me this year. No card, no present, a hastily ordered bunch of flowers, a "we can out tonight if you like, but I haven't bothered to book a table or a babysitter". I was sooo hurt. For his and everyone elses birthday I make an effort to make that person feel loved and appreciated on the one day of the year that is "thiers", but the person who is supposed to love me the most made no effort at all. It caused a major barney.

I came on here to talk about it and was shot down in flames by lots of posters for being a selfish spoilt bitch who expected special treatment. So don't epect a great deal of support here!

I don't think it unreasonable to expect ONE DAY a year where, even if you have 364 other days of being treated nicely, where youre loved ones make a little bit of an extra effort.

Hello and happy birthday! I totally understand your disappointment! I too have a husband who doesn't get why you might want a little fuss on one day! It's horrible! Why not plan something for yourself? Splash out, facial, jewellry, nice present and plan a nice treat for yourself!

Happy birthday!
I've been trying to train my DH into acceptable birthday and Christmas behaviour for 23 years, the DDs are now joining in, but he's still hopeless

Happy Birthday!
He may be taking you out this evening / for lunch.

I only managed a card for DH's 30th birthday this year as was drowing in PND
:(

Happy Birthday! Hope he's got something planned for later instead.

Happy Birthday. I think you have every right to be pissed off.Yes it's nice if your man does stuff for you all year round but it means alot for your birthday to be special. It was my birthday last week and I got a hand drawn card, some magazines,chocolate and a netbook also a chinese takeaway! (sorry very boastful)

cognito said
" I think a loving partner should be kind and considerate all year round as a given and should be capable of making a particular effort on special occasions."

i dont know how anyone can disagree with that.....but someone bloody well did!

I am more than happy with a cuddle and a kiss on the day, so my dh just has to remember it - that is enough for me (and I do have to remind him about a week before anyway!). No need to make it into a huge Hallmark moment and spend money on token presents. I see no point - we are not children anymore and if there is something I really want I am not really going to say 'oh, perhaps I can have it for my birthday'.... I would like him to ensure that the kids make me a card though - that's a nice thing to get.

Happy Birthday.

Say something. Just tell him you are a bit upset and let him know what your expectations are for your birthday.

Saying nothing won't change things.

If you're referring to me, Custardo, you're wrong. I didn't disagree with that.

Of course he should make an effort on your birthday.

I never ever understand the 'oh well it doesn't matter' stuff that gets rolled out on here all the time.

If you love someone then you should want to make them happy and that includes celebrating important days.

Occasionally people fuck up. But acting as if it is somehow ok to be lazy and uninterested in your birthday because men sometimes do that is grim.

Happy birthday op.

Happy birthday!!!

I agree you can be a lovely partner 364 days a year and still make an effort on someone's birthday, there's not a finite amount of love that a partner can show the other.

I'd feel totally unappreciated if this happened to me and I think you should talk to your husband about how you feel. Don't suck it up because some people don't think it's a big deal, it's a big deal to you and thats what's important IMHO.

Hopefully you're having a lovely day and that your partner has managed to grow a brain and nipped to the supermarket for a bottle of champagne or something :)

Aww, you guys are lovely.....

I did manage to say to him that I was a bit miffed that he didn't appear to think I was worth much effort. He was a bit apologetic but apparently he thought stuff from the dc's would be sufficient. I put him straight on that one! And reminded him that shortly he has both our wedding anniversary and christmas to get it right!