to have gone off this man, just because I didn't like the way he asked for his coat?

[knittynoodle]

We were at a party held by DP's friend. This man is another of DP's friends and was there. Me and the party organiser's girlfriend were staying inside the conservatory to watch the fireworks because I had the baby with me.

We were stood by the door when a particularly scary firework came out. It was big for the medium sized garden and the guy who bought it had been talking it up. Suddenly everyone in the garden previously to this, wanted to be nearer the conservatory. No one else actually came in except for this man, who attempted to quickly push through us (while I was holding the baby) to get inside.

My friend (DP's friends girlfriend) said 'hang on, what are you doing!' and he replied, 'I need to get my coat, ok?!'

She laughed and said 'Oh really? You don't just want to be inside because of the scary firework then?' She was only joking.

His face really changed and he sort of ordered us to move then. He only said the same as before but he said it so darkly that I was almost afraid of him. We both moved out of his way, he got his coat and took our place at the door.

AIBU to have changed my view on this man from such a small incident?

Yes

YANBU! I wouldn't like someone who pushed me!

YANBU he sounds like a twat

Ok two possibilities really.

1. he's an arse, very rude and not a nice person for no particular reason

1. He has a fear of fireworks or explosions and is afraid to admit it (like a lot of men) or cannot talk about it so was upset by what your friend said

Perhaps he has had very bad experiences?

I would have felt put off by his attitude too but bear in mind you don't know him well or what his reasons might be for acting like a loon.

Trust. Your. Instincts.

YANBU

He sounds scared. I think he probably tried to push past quickly so he could slip in un-noticed. His words seem panicky - as though he didn't want to be laughed at.

Is this someone you will have contact with again?

I don't think he's afraid. He was helping to light most of them. We were at another display yesterday and he came over laughing and smiling.

I think he doesn't like women saying no to him or questioning him. He only goes out with very quiet, unassuming 18 year olds (he's 31). I don't know him enough to say whether this is definitely the case, but I do know he briefly stopped talking to my friend (the girlfriend) when she first got with her DP. We don't know why! I think now, that I am just looking for reasons to dislike him further

Well maybe he isn't very nice. However I do think this is a bit pointless - you clearly don't know him very well, yet you know him better than any of us does.

So the only way to find out if you like him or not is to get to know him properly.

Otherwise you're just guessing.

maybe he was annoyed because you wouldn't move

YANBU of course not, you just don't push women holding babies....or men holding them either!

But YABU for taking a tiny baby to 2 fireworks displays when they'e not run by professionals!

I was devestated to hear about a 12 month old hit in the face yesterday by a firework.

Trust your instincts. It's often in slightly stressful situations that people show their true selves.

YANBU. I would go off him too, he sounds like a twat anyway.

YANBU - what kind of person pushes a woman holding a baby - or indeed pushes anyone?

But YABU for taking a tiny baby to 2 fireworks displays when they're not run by professionals!

Did you miss the part where the OP said she was inside?

YANBU. He presumably knew you were holding a baby, and he pushed into you without warning, risking your balance. That is at the very least inconsiderate.

The point has been made that you don't know him very well. I'd imagine that was why you'd had a fairly neutral opinion of him before. You've now observed his behaviour a little more, and don't like it; so of course you've gone off him. I would have too.

I'd change my mind about him too.

You can always change it back if he gives you cause...

It is sensible to constantly reassess. It is foolish to hold on to a previous assessment of a person when they have done something that calls that assessment into question.