"A woman's opinion is the miniskirt of the internet"

[HedleyLamarr]

I posted this in Feminism [brave emoticon], and someone has suggested putting it in AIBU.

So, I was sent a link to this article in the Independent. Your thoughts/ideas are much appreciated .

squeaky "I have managed to get to the age of 42, and spent the last 24 of them doing what I can to protect my personal safety. I have not in that time been the victim of any attack from a stranger. Is that down to luck, statistics or because I have not put myself at obvious risk?

Can you actually answer that?"

Sorry I thought you were asking for my opinion.

What's your opinion as to why you haven't been attacked in the past 24 years?

forkful - We used an assortment of techniques and tactics to get to where we are today.
A very useful one was not pissing off other women. Not belittling, humiliating and abusing other women - even if they do not share your opinion - really is a great place to start.

Calling another woman "a monster" is not the behaviour of a true feminist. Assuming that another woman has not had direct experience of sexual violence is not the behaviour of a true feminist.

There are plenty of ways to skin a cat - bellowing and ranting and abusing is probably one the least successful methods. But then what do I know - I am just some old bag who was dealing with sexist shit before you were even born. And nobody hates old bags more than young feminists eh?

Squeaky, I'd say it was luck. I followed all the advice and still got raped. since leaving my ex, I've put myself in no end of risky situations, and since i left him, i haven't been raped. not once. it is luck. not prevention.

FFS I have not bellowed and ranted and abused.

SGM's post of 22.44 is spot on.

No, I was asking if you could answer it, which you cant, and neither can I with a definitive answer.

I would say though, that if I never walk alone down quiet streets, I am not going to be attacked walking alone down a quiet street.

In my neighbourhood there have been attacks on lone women. Muggings, assault, and rapes.

I would rather go out, and get a reputable cab firm home. I dont take chances.

lucy I think Squeaky is focusing on the reasons why she hasn't been attacked/raped by a stranger.

I don't know how avoiding alleyways and hypothermia helps with being raped by someone you know.

Lucy, I would say that was luck on your part yes.

Ask yourself this Forkful - do you think that you have engaged effectively with people on this thread and managed to convince a lot of people?

Because if you are only banging a drum for you and your mates to hear what the fuck is the point?

Squeaky, john worboy's victims phoned a reputable company. no prevention technique is 100% foolproof

again, i apologise

i was assuming that it went without saying that sexual violence against women was wrong

clearly it does not, and there are huge swathes of people who need gentle persuasion

the ability of people to see that sexual violence against women is wrong clearly does depend on them being asked nicely

StewieGriffinsMom

Read what you like in to it.

I am responding to a post on a forum with information that I have been given.

I asked a question which has now had information added.

If you feel that I am calling you a liar then that is down to what you are reading in to my posts.

As for a grudge, I don't know you nor can I be bothered to hold a grudge against words on a page

Squeaky Ah now the superiority shines through: "I don't take chances."

Is it only women who, in your view, "take chances" who get raped by strangers?

Were the victims of Worbouys "taking a chance" by getting into a 'reputable' black cab?

Why does it matter that the cab driver was black?

the cab was black. no reference to the race of the driver was made.

Party the hypothermia post of mine that you seem so intent on taking the piss out of, why not try understanding the context of my post which was about various dangers which can and do happen to people who walk home alone, (not just rape), and that is the reason why I would urge anyone, male or female not to walk home on a lonely journey by themselves, particularly if they have been drinking.

SGM, I do not flag down cabs, I prebook with a local cab company on the rare occasions that I go in a cab alone. I have used the same company for many years, and know the owner, and the drivers, most of whom are female too. I have once in the last ten years flagged a black cab, simply because the choice of that, or walking in an evening dress and very uncomfortable stilletto heels for 5 miles was not the most appealing option after ending up stranded at Clapham Junction at midnight on a Saturday night. I was sober, and I did not enjoy that journey at all. The driver took an unfamiliar route, through an industrial area, and I was fucking scared. That was luck, most definately, and I have never got a black cab since that experience. I havent been around Clapham Junction at that time again either, as that was quite horrific on its own. It did however make me realise what a vulnerable situation I had put myself into.

No, he drove a black cab... meaning it was hackney licensed.

There are a lot of lurkers on MN. I think that a lot of them will be interested that I posted about the home office VAWG campaign and explained my point of view that this type of sexist abuse on the internet is similar to street harrassment and is part of a continuum (sp?) of violence against women. I have asked some posters to clarify what they meant and that may be of use to the thread.

I am unsure why you are singling me out and why you refuse to explain what the "crass insults" I have made are. This was before I made my illadvised comment about older feminists telling younger feminists how to do feminism. Please can you explain exactly what you are objecting to in my posts!

knickerstoit Sun 06-Nov-11 23:05:12

Why does it matter that the cab driver was black? hmm

You just made me waste precious beer (Alice Porter, if you want to know) by shooting it out of my nose.

knickerstoit A Hackney carriage is quite often called a black cab! And it does matter because women are often advised to get a black cab - or licensed minicab - because they display registered licences and are therefore traceable AND because black cab drivers spend a lot of time and money on their career and it is therefore viewed as less likely that they will throw their livelihood away because they want to sexually attack their passengers.

I dont disagree with you there at all SGM. However in my opinion, given a choice between using my local cab company, and walking home alone, I am taking the least risky option available to me.