To refuse to make any more food for my picky DH and DS1?

[hermionestranger]

ARGH! WHY DO I HAVE THE PICKIEST, FUSSIEST, FLIM FLAMMING PITA MALES IN THE WORLD LIVING IN MY HOUSE!

And breathe......

I finally decided that enough is enough and said that from now on I am refusing to cook anymore meals or make any more packed lunches. They are forever turning their noses up at what I make, but the trick is that you never know what it might be they do decide they suddenly don't like. There are a few standards, fish pie for DH and Spaghetti bolognase for DS1 that they won't eat, but as for the rest.....!

Tonight was a Mediterranian style chicken casserole that they decided was too tomatoey! DH said why don't I use a packet mix? Well I did that on Wednesday and he didn't like that! It's not the first time that he has said no to packet mixes either, plus he has high blood pressure and DS2 is only 11mo, so I don't like to use pre-made sauces, etc because of the salt. DS1 keeps bringing his packed lunches home. Says he doesn't like cheese sandwiches anymore but doesn't want anything else on them, nor does he want pasta salad or a wrap instead!

I took their plates away tonight and told them that there was nothing else and from now on could fend for themselves. I am cross with myself for infantilising DH, but honestly what else can I do. DH says he will cook for us all, but since he comes in past 6 most nights and on my college nights I need to be out of the door at 5:30 at the latest and with the baby who eats with us, I'm at my wits end.

I've always tried never to have issues around food with my boys, but DH has huge issues because of his crazy family and he's obviously passing these on to DS1!

DH told me I was being childish for being quite so cross about this, but it's EVERY NIGHT from one, the other or both of them!

Sounds like a bloody good idea to stop. It's better than martyring yourself like a lot of people would do and complaining about it for the next few decades while nothing changes.

(I am that martyr btw. God help me).

YANBU - Your DS is picking up your DH's bad habits. Could you not eat earlier with DS? That way DH, who is in fact an adult, can sort himself out and DS will be away from his childish behaviour picky eating habits at mealtimes and can be allowed to grow up into a well nourished adult without deeply irritating food preferences. (You do have my sympathy, my DP is a nightmare to cook for, and even worse to eat out with, although he is slowly getting better with my bossing him about encouragement.)

DH needs to be a better example. 11 mo most certainly shouldn't be eating packet food (it will be way over his salt allowance). I think DS1 is just copying DH so you need to have a serious talk with DH about this.

I have a friend who won't eat vegetables and I had a word as his DD (then 2, now 3) was picking up on it. I gave her carrots and he informed me she had never had carrots at which point I made him eat some and smile . Little eyes are always watching.

He thinks you're being childish? I think you're right to put an end to it. Do you menu plan as a family? Maybe that would give everyone some input.

How old is your DS1? Mine makes his own and he is responsible for what is selected (he has to pick sensibly and is given guidelines).

I think the idea of eating with your children adn leaving DH to fend for himself is good.

i couldn't be doing with this amount of faffing about, it sounds ultra annoying.

I have been in almose exactly the same position. I was that martyr too for a while.

It became very very dull and very very annoying when it got to the time when we had just got in from school and I had to start thinking about producing food that everyone would eat. DS1 is great, he will eat anything, but ds2 is fussy, dh has food issues also from his freakoid family and he likes to eat a lot of fish, whick makes me boak.

In the end I had to tell Dh that I would cook something the whole family likes once during the week and at the weekends, (because the list of things we all like is really not very long) and the rest of the time he has to fend for himself. He is quite happy with it now he is used to it, and so am I!

Thank you all, at least i'm not the only one. I wanted us all to eat as a family, because it's the only time we all get together, except for weekends and I like us to catch up every day, however briefly.

Tomorrow I am going to sit them both down and get a list of what they do like and then do weekly menus together, If they then turn their noses up, tough. DH will be told to stop being a picky so and so too. If he can't then he doesn't get to eat with us anymore.

I eat most everything, except marmite and pate, and it's not in my nature to be so finickity.

You're so right about the packet mixes and DS2. I much prefer to cook from scratch.

Bless them both, they've just come back in from a fireworks display, bearing flowers, chocolates and apologies.

DS1 is 6 by the way, so I need to nip this silliness in the bud now!

No way are you BU!

How ungrateful is your DH??

Definately don't cook him anything else until he apologises and cooks you a few meals you can then turn your nose up at

Fair enough he doesn't like spag bol, but random food dislikes does sound a bit weird and maybe suggests he's doing it for other reasons.

Awww at the chocs and flowers, he's not a total shit then?

Don't leave him just yet

Nah on the whole he's not too bad. Given his batshit crazy family, he's relatively normal.