To be annoyed at H coming home late?

[redvelvetcake]

H and I are going through a rough patch at the moment. He had a one night stand 4 months ago. We are working through it and it's hard. It's the first time he has gone out with a friend since then.

I know and trust this friend. We also live abroad. Its nearly 1.30am and he's not home. We didn't discuss what time he would be home. But I thought he would be home by now. I've had two emails from him

AIBU?

What do the emails say? Why is he sending emails? Am confused.

I would be annoyed but either you trust him or you don't. Were the emails reassuring or not? That makes a big difference.

I don't think yabu. My red alert would be going. If you have had 2 emails off of him since he has been out though why don't you just message him back asking a rough time when he will be home.

You will have to start trying to trust him again soon though, and if you didn't discuss when he would be home you might just have to give him a bit of leeway here.

His first email was to tell me he was eating ribs and sent a pic and the second was a slight soppy one.

I know I need to be able to start trusting him again, but this is the first time he gas gone out since it happened. So I'm a little nervous.

Where is he if he has time to email you? Doesn't sound like he's in a nightclub or anything - more like he's out with friends and the emails are an attempt to keep in touch with you to tell you what he's up to and how he's feeling?

Try not to wreck his attempt to keep you happy by keeping in touch with you. If he's with friends and having a few drinks, time will be flying by, and also, he might not be sure when he'll have another night out so he might be making the most of this one?

Hope it works out - I'm sure it'll be ok.

Thanks. I can't sleep and my mind is going a thousand miles a minute. He has probably just lost track of time.

I doubt very much he would send you emails if he was with someone else. I'm sure it will take some time to get 100% trust back again though. Perhaps you could organise a night out yourself soon.

I know I need to be able to start trusting him again

Actually you don't - he needs to earn your trust! 4 months is still very early days, I would be devastated.

Perhaps he was sending you the emails to reassure you?

How are things going red? Hope it's all ok?

What Valium red said, he cheated not you, you don't have to do anything.

I aggree with the last 2 posts.Hes taking the piss going out late when hes already been unfaithfull.
For me this is entirely why i didnt stay with my cheatin arsehole,couldnt be living with the lack of trust.
I hope things are ok.

I think on this occasion you might have to let this one go, if you didn't discuss a time that you would request him to be home by.

BUT depending on the circumstances of his one night stand, especially if it was on a similar kind of night out, he should be making an effort to let you know that he's thinking about you. I assume that is why he's emailing you.

For what it's worth I don't think under normal circumstances anyone should be keeping such a check on their OH but in his case and such early days after his one night stand everything should be on your terms and he should be proving himself to you.

Op why not go out for a late one yourself. He is going to be as concerned as you are due to the possibility of you seeking revenge.