AIBU To Be Totally F'd Off With DH

[rockinhippy]

For allowing 9 year old DD to decide that she is doing after school dance class that I have already cancelled - before the lessons started - because she isn't/wont be fit enough

Long story short, broken foot, now healed, very bad tendon & ligament damage not healed & she still has removable cast & up until last night was still on crutches full time -

yesterdays physio was a tough one, but afterwards therapist reckons she's ready for SHORT bursts of walking without crutches, she was chuffed to bits, but is pushing herself to much for my liking - was told by therapist to keep crutches at (small) school & not use them in the school, but keep them at hand incase she gets too sore or tired - ALL explained to DH on getting in from Hospital last night

DH is on holiday today, so took her to School this morning - came back telling me she insisted on walking there without crutches - he didn't stop her

he picks her up from School - she tells him shes joining the others in a dance class - he lets her

We've just had a row about it & he reckons I'm being over protective & he thinks its a good thing - its not the Doctors advice & also having had a similar injury myself in years gone by I KNOW the damage it does trying to do too much too soon - I've told him, he's the parent, not her & to F'ing act like one

AIBU??

YANBU, dont have any useful advice tho sorry

He is BU - how dare he put her future health at risk!

He is BU but so is your dd imho. Him for allowing it, almost liking scoring brownie points from dd for letting her and she is because she is effectively playing you off against him when shes been told what she can and cannot do.

YANBU

What is going on in those thick heads of them! I had a massive row with DP this morning - he's accusing me of being protective (not over-protective! just protective! apparently that's not allowed!!!!)

sorry of theirs not of them

I think he should be accompanying her to future physio & Doctors appointments then. In the meantime I would contact the school and ban her from the dance club. I understand she is probably bored and frustrated but developing lifelong damage to her foot isn't the answer. Why your DH can't see that I am not sure...

Good advice lazarus

Thank you ladies :)

I let him read this & he really had his tail between his legs & has owned up to being annoyed with himself for not realising & stopping her - she had told him on picking her up, "Dad what are you doing here its dance club night, your too early" & stupidly he just accepted it - which he does have a bad habit of doing with DD

DD was read the riot act & asked what the Physio Dr had said & whayt had I told her about cancelling Dance - she was honest that she did know what he had said & that she shouldn't have walked to School without crutches, & not been stupid enough to think dancing was a good idea - as we normally do here, if she's honest, which she generally is when confronted, she was given a shorter punishment - told it would have been a week without any gadgets at all, bar homework, but 2 days for telling the truth,

she also apologised to her Dad for manipulating him into thinking it was okay, without prompting & to me too for causing trouble & she also has her tail firmly between her legs

I had already cancelled her place in the Dance club with the School office the same day we were offered it, as we then knew it wasn't just the fracture, but much more slow to heal severe tissue damage too - but seems it wasn't passed on, though I would have thought the teacher running the club would have questioned why she was there with a cast on her leg, but seems this lesson was just planning so no real harm done, but at least its alerted me to the fact her name is still on the list & DD is frustrated enough at missing out to be a defiant little Moo

Agree great idea lazarus & if I have any more trouble will certainly be going that route, though he doesn't work locally, so will be difficult to organise, but will if need be, but I think he's learnt his lesson & hopefully her too -

& I'll be putting a letter together for her Teacher & School in general to make sure they know exactly what the score is on what she can & can't do & its passed on in circumstances like this - though with her Teacher I've no worries as he is really good & knows exactly what shes dealing with & also how stubborn & determined she is to act "normal" again - I've even had one of the TAs tell me shes had to relearn how to deal with & spot problems in ill/injured Kids since having DD in class as shes never had one like her before - we've already been through her insisting she was going to run a local mini marathon - on crutches - got to admire her spirit, by my God is she keeping us on our toes

Thanks again for you help in making sure DH understood he was an @rse over this :)

Glad to hear they have come to the their senses! You are a very fair wife and parent, I hope they appreciate you!