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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

i am lying on sofa on mn while kids play

22 replies

woahthere · 04/11/2011 13:29

I am a chidminder, Im having a hard day dealing with pain in my lower abdomen (and leg but its unrelated!), the 3 children are happy playing with duplo and dinosaurs and every now and then bring me something over but Im feeling a bit guilty, but at the same time just trying to deal with the pain. AIBU to not call their parents, they are cared for at least.

OP posts:

coraltoes · 04/11/2011 13:31

Maybe when they get picked up explain you've been in pain so the kids have had a quiet day playing indoors. Just so they don't hear "She was on the sofa" from. A kid and wonder wtf you were doing there!

Psammead · 04/11/2011 13:31

Sounds like my day, really.

They are happy, fed, having fun, etc?

If the pain is too much to deal with a potential emergency, I would call the parents. Otherwise let them play.

DammitJanit · 04/11/2011 13:31

It wouldn't bother me. So long as it wasn't a regular occurrence. I'd rather you were able to look after them than have to arrange alternative care. I'd like to be told on collection though.

TheTenantOfWildfellHall · 04/11/2011 13:33

YANBU.

The children are happy and safe. Can you get up and about to feed/change them? If so, and you are satisfied the children won't be at any risk, I wouldn't worry about it.

It's what parents do if they're a bit under the weather after all.

Alibabaandthe80nappies · 04/11/2011 13:33

Sounds fine to me, I'm sitting MNing amidst the remains of lunch while DS2 plays on the floor.

I would probably tell the parents what you needed to do though, especially if you are going to be like it next week incase they prefer to keep them at home or whatever.

nethunsreject · 04/11/2011 13:33

As an out-of-the-ordinary day, fine.

Hope you are better soon.

Original poster

woahthere · 04/11/2011 13:33

if there were an emergency i couod definitely deal with it, and i have taken them out this morning and they ve just had a cooked dinner. Am trying to rest before I go and collect after school children, and hoping these ibuprofen work soon!

OP posts:

TheTenantOfWildfellHall · 04/11/2011 13:34

Yep, just tell the parents it's been a quiet one today and why. Parents will probably be pleased and grateful that you still had the children.

And if not, we'll find out at about 7pm tonight on here...

Original poster

woahthere · 04/11/2011 13:36

you would!

OP posts:

runningwilde · 04/11/2011 13:40

Yabu to be on mn whils being PAID to look after children - if you are not up to doing your job, declare yourself ill.

zippadeedoodaa · 04/11/2011 13:41

There's always one.

catonlap · 04/11/2011 13:42

If I was the parent it wouldn't bother me at all that you'd had a quiet day due to the circumstances. I take it you know why you have pain? I think my only concern would be if you didn't know what is going on with yourself and there was potential for it to get worse and even you collapsing putting your own health in danger and ending up with the kids being unsupervised. But if you have a known cause of pain which is not serious and you just have to deal with it then I would be more grateful you have carried on working than bothered about a day without much activity.

runningwilde · 04/11/2011 13:45

Yep, there is always one and thank goodness for that. It's not the lack of activity that's the problem - if you were at an office, you wouldn't be on mn, you are paid to give them attention fgs!

zippadeedoodaa · 04/11/2011 13:47

Original poster

woahthere · 04/11/2011 13:47

losing the money doesnt concern me runningwilde, i would love nothing more than to have a bit of time off, however, this would mean inconveniencing 8 sets of parents when I think i can make it through the next few hours. I will get up and about soon, just collecting myself.
catonlap...I have had ongoing pain for years, could be endo, could be something else, years of investigation leading to nothing...whole other story.... :(

OP posts:

Original poster

woahthere · 04/11/2011 13:47

they have got my attention!

OP posts:

YellowDinosaur · 04/11/2011 13:50

I'm with DammitJanit - I'd expect to be told (not explicitly that you were on MN but that you had been resting up on the sofa) and the basic reason why.

I do this with my own kids when I'm not feeling great and even sometimes if I am and while I appreciate its different when you are being paid to look after children I think as a one off its fine as long as you let parents know.

And yes, if I am not busy I DO MN at work and don't see a problem with that! As long as the work is done and the OP is still looking after the children and interacting with then (and has taken them out thisam)

fedupofnamechanging · 04/11/2011 13:57

Firstly, lots of people in offices are on MN (or Youtube/FB) right now, so it's not fair to say you wouldn't be doing this if you were not working from home.

Secondly, people choose CM's so that their dc can be looked after in a home environment. My home environment includes a bit lot of internet surfing.
If they want a nanny type service, they would pay a lot more for it than they do a CM.

Thirdly, given that you have no proper lunch break (unlike people in offices), it's okay to take a bit of relaxation time when you can get it.

Finally, it's fine for kids to be left to play by themselves sometimes. They do not need constant interaction from you. I would be okay with a CM doing this, so long as it wasn't all day, every day (which it isn't, so no problem). I wouldn't even expect you to mention this to me as I would trust you to do your job and the right thing generally by my child. No one complains when their DC school teachers have a lunch or tea break - it is seen as a necessary thing to recharge their energy before continuing to do their jobs.

zippadeedoodaa · 04/11/2011 13:59

YellowDinosaur · 04/11/2011 14:02

Excellent post karmabeliever and especially the bit about it being totally reaosnable for CM to have a break.

I think the reason I'd expect to be told is because of the potential of ongoing health issues not because the OP has spent a couple of hours on the sofa. I also think it would come accross as more professional - if the child said that the CM had been on te sofa on the computer all afternoon and they chose to challenge you it puts on at a disadvantage I think rather than being upfront. Something like 'I have been a bit troubled with tummy pain today so I rested up a bit on the sofa to try and kick it while the kids played. They did X and Y and Z'

fedupofnamechanging · 04/11/2011 14:03

Fair enough YellowDinosaur.

Original poster

woahthere · 04/11/2011 14:22

yes thats what i will be doing yellow dinosaur. As it happens I dont think i have done less with them than usual, just at a different angle! I do worry, because I have this ongoing pain, but what is my alternative? Stop working? Go on sick and claim benefits? Perhaps I have very high standards in the first place and work extremely hard with planning things out so that the children can just lead their own play, rather than be amused by myself. Anyway, Ive had 45 minutes on the sofa and pills must be working so feel bit better now. Im very amused if runningwilde thinks that people working in offices dont go on mn, Im pretty sure that they do..and facebook and twitter etc. Am going to prep for the next onslaught of children now! (natch, only kidding , theyre all lush! x)

OP posts:

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