to be suprised by the number of friends who over strech themseslves at christmas

[CarrieInAnotherBabi]

had a girly weekend last weekend, there was 8 of us there and one person started talking about her h taking his stress out on my friend, and alot of it was about how much she spends at christmas, on their chilren and both sies of the family, after she said this nearly everyone else stated joining in about how the cost of christmas causes alot of tension/rows.

one of my other friends said she has 60 people to buy for and spends 20pounds pergift so 1200, and thats not even her immdeiate family, then theres the clothes nights outs food an drink over xmas...

it just made me feel really sad people are struggling like this, alot of this gift buying is unnessacry, i know its nice if you can afford it, but when it gets to the point of causing strife within a marraige i think a rethink is in order.

i did suggest to friend two, the one that spends 1200 not inc immediate family, that perhaps she could, suggest to the other family and fiends, how about they could not exchange gifts this year, i said you'd probably find alot of them would be realived, at not having to buy back, but she said she didn't want to as xyz etc mean so much to her.

sorry about caps again.Didn't see
til i'd posted

Inspired by this thread, have emailed best mate and brothers and suggested a £10 limit on presents (plus them only getting for DD. They don't have kids, so we'll get them sth).

A Christmas conundrum:
Have emailed one aunt and suggested not exchanging gifts at all (told her to buy self sth nice with money she would have spent). We normally only spend a £5 on each other anyway. Problem is this. I never see her at Xmas, but I usually see her sister every year. She (sister) always bought us a lot as kids and really spoilt us, and we saw a lot of her. I assume this year she'll just get sth for DD (she doesn't have kids). Feels rude to say to one 'let's not bother' and to the other 'just spend a tenner on DD, and we'll spend the same on you'. They're close, so would know about it.

cath well done, i was feeling sad for a few of my friends having alot of stress about this.

so glad its helped you\

feel a bit better now

Last year I put out the suggestion to our extended families (which included relatives as far removed as DH's great uncle who we only see at Christmas, ridiculous!) that we only buy for the children. Basically, this means my 3 boys & my nephew. My DH had just had his long-term contract end & I thought that was good reason enough to end all the extended present buying. Everyone agreed readily & wow it was all so much less stressful, I basically bought for my 3, my nephew & my 3 god-children. Plus DH. It all worked really well & we are doing the same this year. The only person who complained about it was my nan, who didn't actually do any buying anyway, she just gave me the money each year to buy something for the kids! And took back EVERY single present that was bought for her (really, she did, we all used to say we didn't know why we bothered, it was all such a farce).

I would add though that this arrangement would only work if everyone stuck to it & didn't turn up on Christmas Day with 'surprise' gifts as they felt bad - that would I think lead to a lot of awkwardness . Luckily everyone did stick to it last year so I would say if you are thinking about it then go for it, it just takes that one person (me!) to make the first move.

As well as the money, it's the unnecessary stuff that annoys me - from the packaging on gift sets to the amount of clutter that people complain about in their homes. I'm giving hampers/wine this year so that everyone can eat or drink their present. DH and I are doing this for each other, and then sharing! You can get really good deals on nice treats at the supermarket (and 3 for 2 makes it even easier to make up a few hampers!).

Yanbu, bonkers. I love Christmas, but even I think it is bonkers!