AIBU in my reaction to extreme responses or should I just suck it up?

[lesley33]

This is a genuine AIBU?
I have been on here for a while and have become increasingly aware of some posters who post extreme responses to OP's. For example:

OP: I think the benefits system in this example is wrong. Answer - would you prefer they all just starve or go in the workhouse.

OP: I don't like being asked to take of my shoes when I go to my friend's house. A- Why should your friend put up with you trekking dog muck through her house.

OP: I think its fine to have dogs off the lead where they are well trained. A - So you think its fine for a child to have its face ripped off by a dog.

And many many more. Please don't post in response to the examples above. But my question is AIBU to be annoyed at posters posting extreme responses given this is AIBU? I don't expect people to agree with me, I just wish that posters would read the posts and respond reasonably. But given the forum I am posting in I wonder if IABU and should just suck up these extreme responses?

Tis a forum, all sorts of nutters are allowed. If you want reasonable people, go out, find them, and talk to them.

YABU, if you don't like extreme responses then don't post in AIBU. A good way of having a reasoned debate is by looking at the extreme ends of the spectrum, then working out what fits in the middle. I know I've quite often posted an AIBU that is a far stronger viewpoint than I actually hold in RL on purpose to get people thinking about it. People on MN must think I'm a right cow :o

YANBU. Someone posted recently about their husband doing something wrong, but it was something fairly minor. Most offered constructive advice but one person said "leave the fucker" or words to that effect. I fail to see how those are helpful.

What also annoys me is people who say "why post this in AIBU?" when the OP fails to say "of course, I will change my opinion now some of you on here disagree with me".

Yeah just suck it up or log out

Would you rather no-one posted anything and then the site lost its sponsorship...and everyone at MNHQ became homeless and starving

worraliberty

I think more people should post in 'wwyd' rather than 'aibu'

Then the onus is on the respondent poster to put their view across by saying what would THEY do in that situation, rather than a whole load of 'yabu' replies

Meh. AIBU is, despite the bit at the top, a Fight Club. Only post an OP here if you don't mind the ensuing bunfight.

I was under the impression that it was mumsnet law that anyone with a slightly annoying DH/ DP has to be told to 'leave the bastard' otherwise the site stops working

I don't mind extreme responses so much they either make you think or you can ignore if a clear wind-up.

You may find that you get far fewer extreme examples if you post your question/topic for discussion/request for advice in a specific forum rather than just AIBU.

You could post about benefits in Legal or Money, about shoes off in Etiquette, etc.

I love aibu because of the often wildly inappropriate and OTT responses, and think you have to take most of it with a pinch of salt. If you have a genuine issue or problem, you can usually find another topic to post it in which will get a more reasoned and considered response.

YANBu but you have little choice but to suck it up. It doesn't appear that things are going to change. I honestly think some posters wait for brand new threads with baited breath so they can jump on and be a bitch just, well, cos they can.

Suck it up or hide it I think.

YANBU

But as Fo0ffyShmooffer says there isn't a whole lot you can do about it.

I'm sure some people really think this stuff too. If someone doesn't take their shoes off when they come into their house they probably do think their's is now dog poo everywhere, despite it not being visable

I find most of the responses here are quite measured. I get annoyed with the AIBU police who after several dozen calm and considered responses to a relationship problem, will wade in and tell the OP that they'll get a better response in 'relationships' - where they will almost certainly be told to 'leave the bastard'. The mind boggles. I wish MNHQ would just give these suck-ups a shiney badge or something to keep them quiet and let the rest of us get on with posting.

Agree with you, OP, that the default setting for some is to think of the most extreme circumstances possible and respond with those, angrily, on a thread. The fact that those have no relevance to them matters not, they want to pick holes and will argue bout anything.

they'll get a better response in 'relationships' - where they will almost certainly be told to 'leave the bastard'.

lol - thats the default setting on MN isnt it

I'm not really posting problems most of the time though. I'm more interested in the debating angle. But I did suspect IBU. The thing is every time I think "I will not engage" with those kind of extreme responses. But fool as I am, I nearly always do.

Lesley, why the heck do you come on here for a debate ? why not join a debating society or the Royal Society of arts and b*gger off . leave us to didcuss out aibu questions in peace, you pseudo-intellectual wannabe

Ignore nutters.

YANBU
People are anonymous and have no comeback.. they don't really care they are just being adversarial.
The thing is people used to post in AIBU for some perspective..

I wish MNHQ would just give these suck-ups a shiney badge or something to keep them quiet and let the rest of us get on with posting

Oh so true and perhaps some regulation tights

Aren't such posters the digital equivalent of your mother telling you to eat everything on your plate because the children starving in Biafra would be grateful to have boiled cabbage? [old gimmer emoticon]

Yes, extreme posters, I do mean that you are turning into your mothers!

Why shouldn't Lesley come here and be more interested in the debate, OldMac... I agree with her point. It's impossible to have a discussion about anything that's of concern or interest to many people, eg. benefits, job cuts, absent parents without somebody (entitled or not) rushing in to explain that the OP doesn't relate to them at all because of x, y, and z reason and "Why can't people see that?". Perhaps ask them to post elsewhere, maybe?

YABVVU - seriously - who are you - the posing police? I have never been more insulted in my life - I am going to write to my MP

posTing police - see I was so upset you made me go all wrong

Oh so true and perhaps some regulation tights

Amen to that Worra, in a nasty shade of brown, perhaps, to go with their noses?

Ponders the idea of posing police ... hmm