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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want to do this

15 replies

musada · 03/11/2011 21:38

Me and DP have fucked financially up this month and finances are going to be very tight until DP gets paid on Wednesday. My brother was babysitting dd on Monday night and some cash must have fallen out of his jacket pocket as we found it in the morning and we definately know its not ours. To solve our problems DP wants me to delay telling him as its enough to get us through until next Wednesday, we would then return it fully to him. I don't feel very comfortable doing this though as my brother isn't exactly well off ( he's only 21 and works in a fairly low paid job) and it feels deceitful as we would be borrowing his money without his permission.

OP posts:
blackeyedsusan · 03/11/2011 21:39

you are right. tell him and leave it up to him to decide wwhen he collects it. it is not yours to spend.

cheesesarnie · 03/11/2011 21:41

could you phone him and say you found it,and youll drop it round on wednesday?is he likely to lend you money.

yanbu to not want to do it.like you said its decietful and you fucked up.

hellhasnofury · 03/11/2011 21:42

If you do what DP is suggesting it might help your circumstances in the short term but it will still leave you the same amount short before next pay day and could leave your brother short too.

You are right. Don't do it.

Pancakeflipper · 03/11/2011 21:43

You give it back to him at the earliest possible time.

Your financial situation is not your brother's issue. But being honest is up to you.

worraliberty · 03/11/2011 21:44

YANBU that's a whole week away

Right now he could be panicking and not realised where he's lost it.

squeakytoy · 03/11/2011 21:45

I would do exactly what Cheese says.. ask if its ok for you to borrow it. He probably thinks he lost it and will be pleased to hear it has been found, so cant see him minding, but to not tell him would be really bad.

leares · 03/11/2011 21:45

YANBU and I would be questioning your DP why he thinks its ok to deceive family members in the way he proposes

bned · 03/11/2011 21:52

You need to tell him then one of two things can happen, he can either lend you the money if you ask him nicely in which case your problems or solved. Or he says he needs it which means that you still have your problems but at least you won't be making your brother pay for your financial problems.

wikolite · 03/11/2011 21:56

You can't expect your brother to pay for your mess as your DP seems to think he should. For one it doesn't sound particulary believable that money lost on Monday would miraculously appear on the Wednesday after. Why not ask to borrow it, if he is prepared to babysit then he will probably help you out in this way also.

abbierhodes · 03/11/2011 22:04

I think you should ring him and tell him it's there, and then ask to borrow it. Presumably as you seem to have a good relationship he will only say no if he can't afford to lend it...which makes it even more important that you check, IMHO.

PortoTreasonAndPlot · 03/11/2011 22:08

Did you pay him for babysitting? If not this reads to me, he does you big favour, you steal his cash.....Not good really.....

yikert · 03/11/2011 22:14

If this is how your DP says you should treat your family, how do you treat people you don't like.

auntiepicklebottom2 · 03/11/2011 22:19

just ask him if you could borrow it.

i have been flat broke, found a purse and still handed it into the police station

Original poster
musada · 04/11/2011 00:56

Good to see people are agreeing with me.

OP posts:
kiola · 04/11/2011 13:27

YANBU if I were you I'd be concerned that he'd thought of such a scheme

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