To be shocked at this response?

[Definitelybeautiful]

I am a teacher in an International School in Eastern Europe. All the teachers are expats, mostly US or Canada, but also some UK and Australia too. I was recently on a school trip with a male colleague and some Grade 10 students. During free time - my colleague would often sit in the common room and be treated to should rubs by the female students (about 16 yrs old) .

On returning, I suggested to the (America) Head that some parents/teacher might see this as a little too familiar, and she said people that thought this should just take the stick out of their 'ass' !

So is it a US thing? AIBU?

YANBU, that sounds well dodgy to me.

yanbu

Is he young and fit or old and scrubby?

Either would be unreasonably familiar, but if he is young and fit then he is encouraging the girls in a flirtatious way that could definitely lead to trouble and he should be told to stop being so stupid.

noble he is about 40 and not entirely awful looking. But he is super creepy with all ladies in general. I would say though this is a school where many male (and female) teachers hug and kiss secondary students at the end of term, or would happily throw them over their shoulder in a game or something like that. I have been out of the UK for a while - but that wouldn't be allowed would it?

YANBU

My DDs are in a (US based) international school, and nothing like this goes on there - I'm quite sure of that!

Generally in the UK you are advised not to touch the kids unless necessary.

Yuck. Is there anyone you can report this to? Like the police or something...I don't know - it just sounds disgusting.

The British are one of the least touchie-feelie nations in the world fwiw

My cousins were at an international school in Dubai. The teachers there were very touchy feely - youngest cousin was carried around on teacher's shoulders, lots of horseplay etc. They also used to socialise with them at weekends at the beach or at house parties. A really close knit community....without it being sinister. Yours sounds more dodgy though - pervy bloke, teenage girls, massages...a recipe for disaster. The head should flag this with the teacher if not to protect kids then to protect him from any allegations. She's not involved with him is she?

TheAnnoyingOrange the police aren't really an option in this part of the world.
Whatmeworry that is true - which is why I was wondering if I am over-reacting....

There is a Director - who is British, should I raise it above my Head?

Why on earth do you have a stick up your ass? Is it to force you to teach standing up or something

It sound both uncomfortable and unhygenic to me

Ring the RSPCA at once!

No donkey should have to put up with that sort of treatment

Hmm, I think because it is teenage girls and a male teacher it does sound a bit dodgy, tbh. Chances are nothing bad will evere come of it but still, clear boundaries are not an unreasonable thing to ask the staff at your school to remember.

Yes, as someone up the thread said, the British are stereotypically less touchy feely, so maybe it is just culturally more apt where you are. Do you think it is?

Some of the male and female teachers in my sons's primary (UK) are touchy feely (hugs, kisses after falling over, tickling, throwing over shoulders, etc) but I don't see it as a bad thing. Kids of that age love it, and the affection and closeness between children and staff (both ways) is clear to see. I like it. My son is affectionate but understands boundaries.

Different cultures different norms. Here the students are all on first name terms with the teachers, socialise together and hide behind the bike sheds for an illegal smoke together.

donkey? Orm?

I think it is totally inappropriate for him to be getting his jollies like this. It is an abuse of his position of trust.

Ass. I a donkey. What American mean when they say 'ass' is arse (I presume )but they don't, the say ass meaning donkey.

Is not I!

Inappropriate IMO

Horseplay and affection with young kids is a completely different thing from shoulder rubs from 16 year old girls. When was the last time you gave a shoulder rub to a man you weren't involved with/flirting with?

It's definitely boundary-pushing behaviour, grooming the girls to see who can be pushed further. I say this as someone with firsthand experience of pervy teachers - unpleasant.

PS, you probably can't advise your girls that a quick punch to the jaw usually gives a clear message