...to believe that piercing a baby's ears is abusive

[TheAlphaParent]

1. It causes unnecessary pain.
2. It removes choice and respect for bodily autonomy.
3. It puts the infant at risk of infection.
4. It provides no benefit to the infant.

I'd be interested in hearing from any pro-piercing parents; However if you're anti-piercing, I urge you to sign this recently approved Government petition:

epetitions.direct.gov.uk/petitions/20646

P.S. I know this is an old school debate, but the Government are yet to act, so the piercing of babies debate is still hugely relevant.

We have to be grateful that there are age restrictions on tattooing because otherwise you can guarantee there would be plenty of dickwads up for getting little Chardonnay her first inking.

I personally don't like piercings on babies/kids but I don't think it merits Parliamentary debate.

A Spanish friend of mine has just uploaded some new pics onto FB of her DD, who's the same age as mine - 15MO - complete with pierced ears. She is a lovely, lovely person who adores her longed-for daughter and who would never dream of hurting her.

I've always been of the opinion that pierced ears on anyone under the age of 12 is vile and tacky in the extreme and while I can still only just suppress an internal :-/ when seeing tiny pierced ears, I do tend to think, well, each to their own.

Our old Romanian au pair me about how it's a rite of passage for babies in her country, and was surprised to see so many unpierced ears when she arrived here. Likewise, she has two very loving parents who wouldn't dream of hurting her.

I've also seen enough threads on here to have my very rigid standpoint on this topic altered a bit.

I still think it's tacky and unnecessary, I won't lie. I don't think it looks good, and I never will. I feel sad for anyone who feels they have to further adorn and decorate their already beautiful child this way. And as a feminist I disagree with anything that impinges on anyone else's bodily autonomy, especially when it disproportionately affects girls/women.

But - for me it's a 'pick your battles' thing, I suppose. When I look at the bigger picture of people I know personally who have done it, it just doesn't seem that bad in the grand scheme of things.

A parliamentary debate about ear piercing? Jesus wept.

It might be distasteful to have holes made in your baby to put jewellery in, but it's not abuse.

Personally I feel more strongly about circumcision for anything other than medical reasons, but I still wouldn't class it as abuse.

Esta I was about to post exactly that about tattooing but you phrased it much more eloquently. I do think ear piercing is a mild form of abuse (agree with the reasons spelled out above) but yes there are bigger issues to be confronted before that. However, if a friend told me they'd just had it done to their baby or young child it would lead me to appraise my view of them. It's just grim.

Oh FFS - this is so tedious and offensive. My sisters both had their ears pierced as babies, because my step mum came from a culture where this was the norm.

I had mine done at 7 for the same reason - I was thrilled although my mum wasn't - but her disapproval was for snobbish reasons i.e that it was 'common'.

My DD had hers done at 7 too - because her step grandma had bought her ear rings when she was born and she was desperate to wear them.

The idea that it is 'abuse' is just ridiculous and is used to hide what is really just middle class snobbery.

IMO.

Coraltoes I know - so much real abuse of children and people want to focus on ear piercing. Good God.

But we hack the ends off our baby sons' penises for CULTURAL reasons.

But we put sharp bits of metal though our baby daughters' ears for CULTURAL reasons.

Well that's alright then. Please carry on.

I don't mind it being done on kids of 7 or 8 because by that age they are capable of a) understanding it will hurt and they will need to be careful for a few days b) wanting to have it done, whether to be like their parents/peers or just because they think it looks nice. But on babies and toddlers, well, doing it just marks you out as being of a lower level of civilisation. Whether that's being a chav or coming from any other primitive culture.

I wish you'd added belly piercing to the petition notes. My 12yo niece, yes 12, had her belly button pierced. I was fecking livid. My SIL said 'what can I do? She's had it one now'.

Ear piercing when the child can ask is fine but belly is overly sexual.

I'm shaking thinking about it now. SIL doesn't think it's sexual. Gross. Urrrrgh!

Pretty and feminine?

It's fucking hideous and common.

I signed it. I think piercing ANYONE'S ANYTHING without consent is barbaric. If a baby cannot consent, then it's too young.

I think there should be an age limit of say 16 or 18 for anything to be pierced.

I argree with Hecate.

And it does look bloody awful. Cheap and tacky. Is a baby girl not beatiful enough without having lumps of metal suck through her ears? Even worse is baby boys with one ear done. Why?

My DM was once in Claire's buying pink sparkly stuff for my DN when a woman came in wanting her baby's ears piercing. The manager refused to do it - it is apparently up to the 'piercer' as to who they will and will not do - and according to DM the stream of verbal abuse, threats and foul language that followed was shocking. Made no difference though but no doubt she got it done elsewhere.

I think it's wrong to do it to a baby or young child, I do not give two shits as to whether it's common or not

YABU. It's unnecessary and looks silly imo but its not abuse.

I had my ears pierced at a young age (around 2 I believe). My nan paid for it and my mum went along with it. I remember nothing about it and my mum said I was fine with having them pierced but screamed when they put clips in my hair to keep it out of the way. I do not feel abused and never have. I will not be having dd's done until she is old enough to want them done and can understand the implications of having them done. I do not like seeing small baies with pierced ears but I do not believe that I should dictate to others on what they do with their child.

From what I understand, it is 'normal' for babies to have their ears pierced straight after birth in Spain, not sure how true this is but have been told this by a couple of people, one who lived in Menorca and had not had their dd's done and said that it was rare not to.

NSPCC's definition of physical abuse 'includes hitting, kicking, punching and other ways of inflicting pain or injury such as poisoning (perhaps with harmful drugs or alcohol), drowning or smothering.' Does piercing cause pain yes so yes it's abuse. I work in CP and know that far far worse goes on but if your hurting a child for no reason it's abusive.

OK so it's probably not abuse in the terms we think of. But let's be honest. It looks really shit. A beautiful baby girl is not made more beautiful by having earrings. Probably 95% of the population here simply thinks the person who got it done is a dick and cares more about 'fashion' than their child.

And cultural reasons are bollocks. The same pathetic excuse is used for FGM. Wearing earrings is a right of passage for a newborn? Seriously?

YANBU, I let my DD1 chose to have hers done for her 10th birthday. The younger 2 will not have any piercings until they are old enough to look after them and decide they want them.

It does look really common IMO.i thought only gypsies generally do it in our culture which I guess is their culture.

Circumcision is far more abusive, but babies with pierced ears is still vile.

people can go on about cultural reasons as much as they like, but it's hardly a good excuse for the velour tracksuited chavs to have it done. Unless Chavness has become a culture in it's own right.

I had my ears pierced at 4 and thank god my mum took me because I wouldn't get it done and I do love ear rings.

For me it's the reasons often given for it that I find sinister - quite a few people have said to me that they might as well get their baby's ears pierced because 'she'll have to get it done some time'. Have to. That, IMO, is fucking creepy, and suggests the child will have a pretty rough time if she decides not to conform to the usual feminine stereotypes.

Re the argument that they can let the holes close up if they want to - my grandparents, who are lovely but with very old-fashioned ideas, pressured my (complete tomboy) mother into having her ears pierced - not when she was a child, but in her early 20s. The holes have closed up and she never wears earrings - but she does remember the feeling that she was a let-down, and the resentment that caused. The potential harm is not just physical.

They pressured her in her 20s? I think your mum and gps had issues other than pierced ears tbh

Not really the same...

I dont think it is abusive, just chavtastic. Especially on little boys with a dodgy fake diamond in one ear.