How to show her he loves her and want to trust her..

[frenchisbest]

I posted in the step parenting to but I think I might get more advice here...
I cant help feeling sorry for my DP, he has got a 15 years old dd and is such a great dad to her and our own DC... But he is getting more and more depressed with the fact that she has now starting lying about how much things cost for school, ie doubling the price of a blazer and school jumper and expecting him to pay, taking or stealing things from our home (make up, perfume... money...), never call him or call him back and hardly come down to see him.. when it should be every other week end... He think she doesn't love him and one day will be gone forever I tried telling him, it is normal teenage behaviour (I think???) and both myself, her nan and her dad tried to talk to her to no avail. She lives with quite a very big and busy family and has I guess her own life, but what can I do to reason with her and make be a bit more considerate? The worst thing now is I start to resent her for disrupting our family life and our relationship... In the past, she has always been so good and never been without anything with us... But now when she is here i feel I cant trust her and it kind of spoil our time together...

She's being a teen, testing and straining the boundaries and I think that many girls go through this. It's not a nice time.

If she's short of money, perhaps she could earn some? Are there jobs that she can do at your home or for your DP that could earn her a few quid? I feel sorry for her - being 15 is when you want so much but have no capacity for earning regular money. That said, the lying is out of order and he needs to be firm with her on that.

Tellng her that he loves her no matter what she does, tempered with disappointment that she's treating him like a fool when she's so much more than that, might be the way to go.

Good luck, I sympathise.

I have no personal experience of step children but imagine it may be hard for her, but as the mother of 2 teenagers I would have to say that stealing / lying on that scale is not acceptable. Yes, teenagers can be messy and hormonal and speak only in grunts for months on end, but personally I would have to address the issues of stealing and lying.