to ask if there is a handbook for prospective MiLs?

[grovel]

If not, I could write one (based on my wonderful MiL).
Nice MiLs would think about what they were doing. Good.
Nasty MiLs would be infuriated by it. Better.

And if you're not sure what sort of MIL you have, at least you can whack her round the head with the book and gauge her reaction

can you send my MIL a copy?

The horrible ones wouldn't read it, the nice ones would and worry that they aren't meeting expectations !!

There should be one of those erm. . . . things in there that asks a question, you answer yes (for example) then you follow the yes line to another question, follow the no line etc etc then at the end it'll tell you what kind of MIL you are, what you're doing right/wrong and what you should/shouldn't be doing!

Something like this?

The trick would be to send questionnaires to all the difficult mil's and say they may have their comments published. They will then read the book to find their quote :)

Piprabbit there is only one book left in stock!

My MIL would have nothing to worry about, my mother would be a different story!

OK, Ninky, I'll widen the scope.

eaglewings - but there's more on the way

I like the subtitle - Love, Hate, Rivalry and Reconciliation - sounds like a summary of every MN MIL thread ever written.

piprarabbit, I've not seen much Reconciliation

Like Ninky I'd be after one that could perhaps be entitled "What my MIL does well that my own Mother could perhaps learn from"

How did I manage to put the word perhaps in a sentence twice? Perhaps I need a big cup of coffee. Perhaps.

grovel are you suggesting that the MIL should be MNHQs next publication - following on from their baby book, toddler book and rule book?

I'll order two.
One for my MIL and one for me for when I'm a MIL!

Would MNHQ let me serialise it in Saga magazine, The Lady, The Daily Mail/Telegraph? And let me lecture on the subject on very dull cruiseships?

Reconciling with my pil was the best thing I have ever done. I was promted to write them a letter saying how I was sorry, how I loved their son and thanking them for raising such a wonderful man.

Never looked back

eaglewings, that's great. Funnily enough it was a letter from my MiL that made me really appreciate her. Firstly she apologised (very funnily) for having landed me with such an undomesticated man. Then she made some promises about how she would behave when our baby arrived and told me to stare at her and cross my arms if she ever overstepped the boundaries..

Your MIL sounds great grovel, perhaps she should be the one lecturing on cruise ships?

piprabbit, one of her virtues is that she doesn't think she knows it all and that parenting is best left to the next generation (with loving support - if requested). The old bats would eat her alive.