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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

about DH's night out?

20 replies

MatchsticksForMyEyes · 02/11/2011 20:37

DH only ever goes out with work colleagues once a year. Neither do I.
Tomorrow is the night they have chosen. They are going out near to his work, 40 mins away from our house, 20 mins from my mums.
He just rang to ask if I had thought about arrangements for tomorrow. When I asked what he meant, he said about picking him up afterwards.
Pointed out to him that I am working on Friday and need to be there at 8.30. Would have to set off from my mum's at 7 a.m, cross town in rush hour to drop the kids at nursery and make it to work on time.
Apart from this, DD has to sleep on a ready bed in my mum's spare room as DS has the cot in the other spare. DS wakes every morning at half 4 and does not settle unless one of us takes him up to another room away from DD, so he would undoubtedly wake her around half 4 if we stayed at my mum's.
When I pointed this out, he said " So I'm going to have to stick to shandy then. It isn't going to be much of a night out!"
AIBU to think he is taking the piss?

OP posts:

helpmabob · 02/11/2011 20:39

Can't he get a cab?

LikeACandleButNotQuite · 02/11/2011 20:40

Why would YOU make HIS arrangements? He is fully grown, this man-child?

worldgonemad72 · 02/11/2011 20:41

YANBU, why have you got pick him up? get him take a taxi.

Original poster

MatchsticksForMyEyes · 02/11/2011 20:43

He is 52, for gawd's sake! Going to suggest he stays at a colleagues house when he gets back in from work, but he doesn't start work til 12.45 the next day so not sure if he will go for that.
Definitely not doing the picking up though. Have never asked him to do that in the 4 years we've had kids and mess them about.

OP posts:

StrandedBear · 02/11/2011 20:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheOriginalFAB · 02/11/2011 20:44

Why doesn't he stay at your mother's. Or get a cab? Or go out on Friday night instead (unless you have to work Saturday)

ChunkyMonkeyMother · 02/11/2011 20:44

Can't he just stay at yours mums if that's closer? Or ask if someone can run him home? My DH works about an hour away from us but doesn't drive, he has been on about 4 or 5 nights out and usually crashes at a colleagues house or has to cut it short and leave in time for last train - on 2 occasions some very kind soul has brought him home in their car - it never harms to ask!

troisgarcons · 02/11/2011 20:45

Well my DH would pick me up and I would pick him up. My DH always picks me up (coz he's lovely like that)

A once a year thing? YABU if its a one off that he's looking forward to.

ThoughtCriminal · 02/11/2011 20:47

I would probably do it for him as a once a year thing. I know my DH would do the same for me if I asked him :)

cjbartlett · 02/11/2011 20:51

What do you do about the kids trios?
Wake them all up at 2am to collect your dh?

banana87 · 02/11/2011 20:52

YANBU, he's a grown man he can figure out his own transport for a night of drinking without turning his family life upside down just to accommodate himself. Selfish.

ChaoticAngel · 02/11/2011 20:57

YANBU He's an adult he can work out how to get home himself or crash at a friend's house.

emsyj · 02/11/2011 20:58

40 mins away is further than I would go if it was going to be very late. I would suggest DH got a cab to my mother's and stayed there, then made his way home in the morning to get ready for work.

DH is good about picking me up when he can, but obviously his first priority is to be at home with DD. Sometimes if it's not going to be too late, we will ask one of our neighbours to sit with DD whilst we do picking-up. We do the same for them too (as they have a DC).

If you could arrange someone to sit with the DCs whilst you pick him up and he wouldn't want picking up later than 11.30pm/midnight, I would probably do it - but would expect to get both lie-ins at the weekend!

Original poster

MatchsticksForMyEyes · 02/11/2011 21:07

It's not the picking up I mind. I have done it before we had the children. It is the fact that a) DS will wake everyone in the house up at 4 a.m ish and nobody ( including my mum) will be able to get to sleep as there is nowhere to take DS out of the way at her house and b) it is massively out of my way to get to work in the morning. It makes a 30 min journey into 1.5 hours.

OP posts:

troisgarcons · 02/11/2011 21:11

What do you do about the kids trios?
Wake them all up at 2am to collect your dh?

I think I'm a bit beyond carting a 16yo, a 15yo, and an 11yo out in the car don't you?

Besides DH doesnt do rolling at 2am - he gets the last train so its only midnight when he gets to the station.

emsyj · 02/11/2011 21:12

Why do you need to stay at your mum's house? I don't get that part. Either he stays there and cabs back or you pick him up from your house if it's not stupidly far. If you can't get a sitter to enable you to go out and pick him up, surely it makes more sense for him to stay at your mum's and cab.

FabbyChic · 02/11/2011 21:12

Why can't he get a cab?

squeakytoy · 02/11/2011 21:14

I just dont get this. He can either get a 40 minute cab home, or a 20 minute cab to his MILs, or any other cab anywhere else to whichever colleagues couch he wants to kip on. Why can a grown man not just make his own bloody way home.

Original poster

MatchsticksForMyEyes · 02/11/2011 21:15

Can't get a sitter as the only person I know here has 3 kids herself. For some reason I don't think he'd want to stay at my mum's without me. He is now saying he will just have 1 pint and drive himself back as he doesn't want to drink much anyway.

OP posts:

LikeACandleButNotQuite · 03/11/2011 10:51

He sounds a right mardy arse. His colleagues will probably be glad he leaves early.

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