about DMums funeral/burial/last resting place ?

[jumpingfrogsdontlie]

Okay - this is going to be hard but I am at my wits end so figured this is better than nothing

We are in process of oranising funeral for my DMum.

My DDad died 10 years back and is cremated and his ashes are in a natural burial ground under a tree with a plack (sp?).
What my Dad wanted. As both realised the power of people left to have somewhere to go back to.

Anyway My DBro has said that maybe DMum ashes should be put by a different tree and have their own plack.

Why? They where married for 46 years.

My DBro and DSis are my dads children from a previous marriage but my parents met when they where 9 and 11 and their home was my parents house. My DMum is (was I suppose) Nana to their DC.
They and We all got/get alone
And the 3 of us count each other as one of 3 (never this half business -ever)

I just think that is totally wrong, they should be together the place we go to, the place our DCs will go to should be both of them

DBro wont budge and thinks they should definatly be seperate

AIBU to feel he is being ridiculous and it is a stupid idea?

I would go along with having a new plaque but have the same tree.

Sorry about your Mum.

I'm sorry for your loss.

But I don't think you are BU.

Is their mum still alive / was your dad a widower when he met your mum? Was just thinking that if she is dead they may feel that their own mum never got to rest with your dad so it doesn't seem right that yours does IYSWIM?

As I said, I definitely don't think YABU, just trying to understand your DBro's reasoning.

Same place, definitely. If they were happily married, they should be reunited in death and you should all have one place to go to in order to remember both of them.

I agree with you.
I could understand where your DB was coming from if he didn't get on with your mum but as you say your DB and DS lived with your mum and there was no resentment, I do think he is being ridiculous. More so as they were married for so long.
Did your mum or dad say before they died if they wished to be buried together?

Evil DDad had been divorced for about 4 yrs when my parents met and she is still alive. (no new partner or more children)

Beer yep tress would be in ssame place but it is rather large and due to its nature you couldnt get plots as you would in crematoriums etc

I think I'm with you on this one too op

But then again, fallouts with family won't help anyone. I might have this kind of thing to face one day

Sorry you've lost your mum by the way. Take care.x

YANBU, and she is your mum, not their mum. You are the one who should decide.

I think that they are thinking of their own mum, with a view to having their parents together ultimately.

What Squeakytoy said, she was YOUR mum :( I am sorry though and this upset must be very hard. Your DB is being very unthoughtful tbh x

I'm with you - recently my mums ashes deposited next to dads (no plaque) but we knew this was what they wanted. I'd be fairly sure its the usual thing for long-term spouses to have their remains together.

What does your Dsis think? Perhaps she could find out what your DBros issue is - if its about his mum would your dsis be able to find out if she was actually in the least bothered (not sure if good idea to persue this really though - depends what she's like)