More of a WWYD, party dilemma.

[Cersei]

At pre-school yesterday the manager gave me an invitation for my DS to a birthday party this Sunday. My DS has never spoken about this child and I don't know the child or the parents and am paranoid that my DS has been invited by mistake!

There are 2 other boys at pre-school with the same name as my DS, and on the invitation the surname has been written on in different handwriting and another colour pen. I asked the manager if the invitation was definitely meant for my DS and she said in an off-hand manner that they would have checked who it was meant for.

The party is clearly an expensive one (£15 per head activity plus a meal afterwards) and I would hate to RSVP, turn up and then find out we weren't actually meant to be there! I have tried ringing the home and mobile numbers on the invitation but keep getting an answering machine. I would rather speak to the parent and just check that DS is the intended invitee than leave a message or text but as the party is on Sunday I feel I can't leave this much longer.

I know I'm making far too much of this but I'm not good on the phone at the best of times. Would you send a text or leave a message or keep trying to contact them? I'm managing to work myself up quite nicely over it all!

I would leave a message. The parents may be in and out of the house all day and you may never actually catch them to speak to them. And if it is the wrong child, then the sooner they know the better.

If you ask your child is he likely to want to go?

If you don´t know them & your son doesn´t mention the party boy, I´d be tempted to decline.

Does your son want to go to the party?

If he's not bothered, it's easy - make up some excuse and decline politely.

If not, then I'd phone back stating you'd love to go and giving your first and surname so that they know.

Also, I wouldn't necessarily rely on the fact that your son has never spoken about this child as a sign that he doesn't play with him. We moved to a new area last year and my DD started at a new nursery. Every day, I asked her who she played with and the same 2 or 3 names were repeated. Concerned that she wasn't making very many friends, I spoke to the nursery and they gave me a completely different account as to who my daughter played with. It was lots more than she ever told me, and indeed when her file came back when she left, there are photographs of her playing with all sorts of children - including boys, yet my DD never mentioned a single boy's name all year. I was very surprised when a mother of one boy said that our children had played together, as I have never heard DD mention a single boys name. You only ever get a very small snapshot of what they do at nursery, and your son may well play with this little boy a lot, hence the invite.

This happened at DD's 3rd birthday party. The invitation wasn't destined for the girl who showed up to her party, but she wasn't particularly close to either girl with that name and I was really just making up the numbers, as I had 20 places to fill!

The girl who turned up was a very sweet little girl, and her mum is lovely too. DD didn't know or care either way, was too busy having fun.

But if you suspect an error, send a text then at least you have tried.

You may be interested to know that there is a WWYD topic for all of your WWYD needs.

WIWD is text them - leave a message saying very clearly "This is Joe C's mum, just checking that you meant to invite Joe C and not Joe D or Joe E."