To have felt a bit upset about this?

[MCT76]

I got an e-mail from my DH yesterday afternoon telling me to book somewhere for dinner (we never go out to eat during the week unless it's a special occasion) as he had some 'big' news he wanted to celebrate with me. I instinctively knew that it was probably a promotion he'd been waiting for (although he had mentioned before that there was no way it would happen until next February or March). However, I wanted to hear it from him rather than start guessing so I replied saying that I was really looking forward to hearing the news and to celebrate together.
We exchanged a few e-mails after that, mainly about the restaurant we were going to and about the fact that he needed to pick me up from choir practice, etc, without a single reference to the 'news'. As I am working from home and I am on the computer all day, both e-mails addressed to him and to me come through the Outlook into a common inbox that pops up whenever one arrives. So, before he even got home, in comes an e-mail from my MIL's partner congratulating him on the news which means that the first person he told about it was his DM who, in turn, told her DP before I even had a chance to hear the news...
I was prepared to give him a huge hug and big welcome and this completely put me off...I knew I should 'get my act together' and not be selfish but he could see it all over my face when he walked in and I had to confess that I was really excited about the news but upset he didn't think of telling me first...He then felt awful and deflated which made me feel like the Wicked Witch of the West so I apologised until I was blue in the face and said that I just wanted to be the first one to say "well done" because he is the most important person in my life...
It was fine in the end and we had a lovely time but I felt a bit selfish although I am still hurt about the fact that he told his mum first (this has happened quite a few times before). He simply said that I need to understand that they have a very special bond! I know it's not a huge deal but the first person I would tell anything important to would always be him and I always feel that, for him, his DM is his first port of call which hurts me a bit...AIBU?

Exactly, I wanted to go and tell everyone who would listen, no way I could keep that news to myself!

LOL @ an estate agent sitting

Leave him immediately. Classic red flag abuser thingies.

Hully, you forgot to call his mum a narcissist.

What did you have to eat during the meal?

I think she had the roasted Shrew.

(Hully, didn't say about gaslighting either bab)

SixStringWidow That is always my first question when people I know go out for a meal, I love finding out what they ate!

I hope she had humble pie for desert

high fives catgirl1976

that was going to be my next post!

He didnt take her out for a meal to tell her though....he wanted to make it a lovely big deal with you....and you ruined it!

this ^

poor sod cant do right for doing wrong can he

We're losing sight of the Oedipal Point here, people.

Well clearly - a man who gets on with his mother is a bastard. Leave the bastard and leave him now before he tries to take you out for any more meals, which is bascially just a control tactic.

My dh and I always wait to tell each other good news like this with the promise of a bottle of champers or three and a dinner out. It wouldn't bother me if he'd told someone else first, he was waiting for the big wifey reveal later.
YABU you silly old twit. But hope you had a nice dinnner!

I know why you felt unhappy about it but I think he did think hewas doing the right thing...he probably HAD to tell someone so he dd....but he booked the special meal for YOU.

I have t confess that sometimes I tell my Mum thigs before I tell DH....it's bad in a way bt not in another.

But you did know what it was really so yabu.

(ignores the fact I tested and announced 2nd pregnancy on a mn thread so loads of peopke found out before dh)

No, I completely understand. I used to have this too...

YABU. Your reaction is ridiculously over the top and completely unecessary.

Thank you for all your replies and I do hold my hands up to being a bit selfish and childish about it which I admitted to him straight away..However, I am the most transparent person on the planet and there is no way I can 'hide' how I feel (every time I try, I end up blurting things out in the most inappropiate way so I would rather say them outright!).

I didn't make a scene and I said to him straight away that I was excited, proud and very, very happy for him but that the e-mail from my MIL's partner had just come in before he came through the door...Btw, we BOTH see each other's e-mails (the ones that come to the joint address; we also have personal ones that are completely private). I understand that he was dying to tell someone but part of me wishes I was the first person he'd want to speak to...And yes, the 'special bond' comment did annoy me but I graciously said I understood and I was really sorry for being sensitive...I can't help it though!

Thankfully, we made up and had a great time so I did get over myself but his Oedipal relationshop with his mum, as HullyGully pointed out, can be a bit offputting at times...In his eyes, she is a living goddess and they are 'best mates' rather than mother and son which I find very strange.

I don't have DCs yet (trying for 18 months and waiting to go down the IVF route) so hopefully when I do, my perspective will change and I will long for my DCs to call me first with their big news and not their wicked wife/husband/partner

P.S: For Xnedra and SixStringWidow ( I am also very interested in knowing what people ate so here goes): we shared a mezze platter (lovely), he had steak and chips with a peppercorn sauce and I had the boeuf bourguignon (divine) which we ended up sharing, all washed down with some Rioja. Although there was no humble pie on the menu, I can assure you all that I did eat plenty of it throughout the evening and made a huge fuss of him and his big fat promotion!

This thread is now making me hungry :) Glad you had a nice meal in the end OP and congrats to your DH on his promotion