Over dh's smell

[deliakate]

DH reeked this am of that morning after a night on the beer stench. What is that smell anyway - it smells like lighter fuel?

I offered to drive him to station as I was going to Sains. But quickly felt sick and asked him to open his window. He refused so from the drivers seat I opened it, and as he tried to shut it again, I held my finger on the button - driver's control overrides passenger. Its an automatic car, and I was driving safely, until he grabbed my wrist and twice wrenched the car over. There were pedestrians, other cars (not many) and our own children in the car. So I pulled over to a safe placer and chucked him out to walk.

I know we were both incredibly childish and were probably both BU - but I think he should have opened his window, non? I am fed up with my day starting so badly because we can't get on :(

He was very unreasonable, and I would have booted him out to. But I would have opened my own window so he couldn't control it.

I would say there are a lot bigger problems here than the smell of stale beer. :(

WTF??

His reaction was way OTT. Good that you kicked him out of the car. But I'm surprised you're focusing on the initial argument rather than his reaction - is this kind of thing normal in your relationship?

(He was out of order refusing to open his window - though you could have opened yours and/or one of the others in the car if he was cold or whatever.)

The smell could be onion residue from a late night kebab?

Sadly there are

Do you want to talk about them?

I should prob head over to r'ships. Thanks

Good idea :)

And hope you're okay.

Why didn't you just open your own window? Or the back windows?

Seems like you were both trying to have a fight, as opposed to finding a way to sort out the smelliness.

So I think YABabitU to have insisted that he open his window, but his response was positively dangerous and on a different scale of unreasonableness.

I know we were both incredibly childish

this ^^

you both need to work on this issue

You were overreacting but obviously because you were cross/disgusted over the morning after stink. I've been there and I sympathise. His reaction was stupid and dangerous, presumably because he is hungover and defensive. The whole thing sounds a bit of a mess :(

Really Nelly?? OP may have been a little bit childish with the window-operation overriding, but grabbing the wheel as a response isn't even childish - it's downright stupid and dangerous, and "stupid" is giving him the benefit of the doubt. More likely "malicious".

Never mind chucking him out of the car, for endangering you and your kids, I'd be chucking him out of your house.

I understand about that smell. It is vile and comes from the alcohol being excreted through the skin. It is what alcoholics smell like. Hope you can sort things out.

Ah okay so it's when someone has drunk a lot, Nhame?

Yes, someone drinking a 'normal' amount would not be excreting so much alcohol through the skin that it would cause a smell.

My ex smells like that and he's an alcoholic. It is a vile smell.

Someone I worked with who was a heavy drinker would have this smell in the mornings at work. It was awful and people thought he had been drinking in the morning but it was from the night before. I have always related that 'coming through pores' smell with consistently heavy drinkers. [He lost his job eventually through being accused of drinking on job. Don't think he did. It was the smell].
Good luck op - it sounds like you have a lot to deal with.

he might still have been affected by alcohol when you were having your squabble.

Waste of time trying to have a sensible discussion with someone who's been drinking.

The stale booze smell usually smells like, well, stale booze. You'd need to have had a skin-full the night before for it to ooze out of your pores like that.

If the stale booze smell is overlaid with a sharper chemical smell that is more like the aroma of nail polish remover or pear drops then that's different and much more worrying. Such a smell indicates alcoholic ketoacidosis which is a sign of a very serious and long-term alcohol problem.

OP. Are you with my ex? He sounds very similar.

Snorbs - my H used to smell like lighter fuel after a bender. Is that what that is?

It depends on how big a bender we're talking about. If it's just a big night out then no. If it's days of heavy drinking with little if any food, then yes. It's a sign that they are both significantly malnourished and seriously dehydrated. It can be very serious.

You should have leaned over and vomited right into his lap.

Ah no, he never went on days long benders, more one ridiculous session over many hours up to the point of puking and passing out. It must just have been his charming personal hangover scent then