Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be a bit hurt / pissed off by my "friends" basically blanking me :/ (facebook related, sorry)

30 replies

MistyMountainHop · 02/11/2011 09:23

ok i'll keep it as brief as i can, my best friend has just had a baby and its my birthday soon so we have arranged a joint night out in a few weeks celebrating my birthday and BFs new babys arrival. its me, my best friend, and some of her friends.

i thought i would also invite 4 of my friends too and sent out a FB message on sunday night to all of them asking them out (they know and like BF but arent as close to her as me iyswim)

well, all of them who i have invited have just ignored the message - i know this because they have all been on facebook regularly since the message posting statuses etc Hmm

aibu to be a bit hurt? i'm not sure what to do, whether to contact them and say, oi, did you get the message (but then i might look like some desperate idiot) or shall i just say nothing?

i am 31 by the way, not 16, but its made me feel like that :(

OP posts:
picnicbasketcase · 02/11/2011 09:26

If it's been a few days since you sent it, I don't think it's that unreasonable to send another asking if they got it, tell them you need numbers to book a restaurant or whatever.

SarahStratton · 02/11/2011 09:27

Just pick up the phone and ring them. DD2 messaged me on FB yesterday, the message has never come through. I know she messaged me, I saw her doing it, it was a recipe she sent over.

Don't rely on messaging/texts for stuff like this.

Annpan88 · 02/11/2011 09:29

Did you send it as an event or message? I never really read events and for some reason my phone doesn't really let me know when I get a message.

FlossieFromCrapstonVillas · 02/11/2011 09:34

I'm not on FB any more but it's like any invitation. Sometimes you CBA to deal with them there and then, nothing wrong in that, don't expect people to read them and reply straight away. There's also the option of saying you're 'Not Attending' or 'Might Attend' which takes away any of the dreadful business of actually speaking to the host, God forbid.

It's Facebook, Facebook is shit. What did you expect?!

Rollon2012 · 02/11/2011 09:35

I'd ring them tbh they may not have seen it,

manicbmc · 02/11/2011 09:36

Facebook is always messing up. Don't take it to heart and phone them to ask if they'd like to come. I think the fact that none of them have replied indicates that the message has gone awry.

Rollon2012 · 02/11/2011 09:36

and dont worry you're not acting like a 16yr old, being ignored on such a public forum is very upsetting at any age. I hope it works out well.

valiumredhead · 02/11/2011 09:37

FB has the ability to make one feel like 12 year old in the playground again.

If there was no fb you would've rung your friends and if you hadn't heard back you would've thought it was a bit odd but probably supposed they were busy at work/with families. Possibly you would ring them again if you didn't hear back within a week.

FB is very good at making us feel paranoid over the most ridiculous things. Invitations imo should be done by phone or by email, and people should stop using FB so much!

well, all of them who i have invited have just ignored the message - i know this because they have all been on facebook regularly since the message posting statuses etc

Have you heard how ridiculous that sounds? As you say you are 31 not 16. There could be all sorts of reasons why they haven't responded - they might not have got the message, FB has funny blips all the time. I NEVER get notifications on my account so unless I go looking for messages I always get to them late. Also people probably post status updates from phones without actually looking properly at their FB page, so it would be really easy to miss a message. So you don't KNOW they are ignoring you.

I have cut back my FB use quite drastically recently more time for MN! and realised I am much happier for it.

This is 'FB angst' - pick up the phone and ring your friends and see what happens THEN get the hump if they don't pick up :)

PopcornMouse · 02/11/2011 09:40

I missed out on a lunch out last week coz the message sent by the inviter didn't come through to my inbox til the day after :(

Phone them!

valiumredhead · 02/11/2011 09:42

I missed out on a lunch out last week coz the message sent by the inviter didn't come through to my inbox til the day after

Classic example why people need to go back to arranging things the old way - by phone! Sorry you missed lunch, that's shit, but shows how easily it happens.

saintlyjimjams · 02/11/2011 09:46

FB often eats my messages - email or ring them.

NinkyNonker · 02/11/2011 09:51

I don't get on with the new FB so use the older version on my phone, it rarely tells me if I have a message. They may also be checking stuff before responding either way, but I would call them, far easier.

Towndon · 02/11/2011 10:18

Just phone them. Facebook is so impersonal anyway.

VeryStressedMum · 02/11/2011 10:32

If I want to arrange something with my friends I call or text them personally, I don't contact them vis facebook - is that the 'done' thing now? None of my friends use fb for things like that either.

Anyway, call them on the telephone and speak to them and just say did you get my fb message about a night out... then you will know if they are ignoring you or not.

NellyMelba · 02/11/2011 10:34

my notifications go to spam box and its only if i happen to look there, i notice

why not just SHOCK HORROR speak to them!

cravingyorkiebar · 02/11/2011 10:37

The new layout of facebook is so confusing they probably haven't seen it! I would ring/text them.

JaneBirkin · 02/11/2011 10:39

I gave up fb after being ignored repeatedly by people who I thought were friends, I think I have a different idea about what it means tbh.

I already feel invisible enough IRL so I don't need sodding facebook making me feel ten times worse. Jack it in and just wait for them to contact you, and don't book unless they all get back to you. If they turn up on the night and you're not there, you can say, well nobody replied and told me they wanted to come so I assumed you weren't available.

Don't stress it. FB is weird like that. It seems engineered to make people fee like shit.

TheBrideofFrankenstein · 02/11/2011 11:15

Old FB used to email you and tell you you'd got a message. New FB doesn't. I realised on Sunday I had 9 messages that I hadn't read. Could just be that they don't use FB that much and so arent on top of the changes

Original poster
MistyMountainHop · 02/11/2011 12:10

*I gave up fb after being ignored repeatedly by people who I thought were friends, I think I have a different idea about what it means tbh.

I already feel invisible enough IRL so I don't need sodding facebook making me feel ten times worse.*

jane thats exactly how i feel sometimes. ignored. but i don't want to come off it as it seems everything gets organised this way in my group of friends, and i would feel i would miss out on things.

i guess i love and hate fb in equal measures! :o

OP posts:
JaneBirkin · 02/11/2011 12:18

Well best of luck Smile

I think I am too fragile to take it Grin

BupcakesandHaunting · 02/11/2011 12:20

Did you list it as an event or send them a direct message?

I missed a party I was invited to on saturday because the hostess thought that invitation through FB events was a sufficient invite. Grin

MrBloomsNursery · 02/11/2011 12:47

I hate facebook. What's wrong with picking up a phone and talking to someone? Or even texting someone is better than sending a flipping message on facebook. Try it.

ItsonlymeMrsDB · 02/11/2011 12:50

Agree, MrBlooms.

I have never been on FB and have no intention of ever going on it.

If you want to keep in touch with people, phone them, text them, go see them.

Towndon · 02/11/2011 12:56

Really dislike it too, when people assume you've heard about something (engagement, new baby etc.) or been invited to something "because it's on Facebook" - and you're not a FB user.

ItsonlymeMrsDB · 02/11/2011 13:08

Towndon

I don't worry about that sort of thing. The way I see it, real friends will want to keep in touch via 'normal' means of communication, they wont just assume.

It really gets me that people go on FB and have over 200 'friends', people who they haven't seen since school etc....if they meant that much to you, why didn't you keep in touch in the first place ?!

Swipe left for the next trending thread