arghh freecycle!

[fourandahalfkids]

Ok in general I am very pleased with my dealings on freecycle. Have given and received lots all with relative ease. But the incident yesterday has left me really annoyed to be honest.
Basically a woman responded to an item that I had posted saying she would have it. I gave her my address and then she emailed back asking if i could meet her with it at the bus station in town instead. Which i agreed to, I left her my phone number so she could contact me if needed, she never sent an email back thanking me for that extra effort (which i would have thought was comnon courtesy tbh). Anyway this was at the weekend and we'd arranged to meet yesterday. In the meantime, however, i came down with a severe chest infection ( was brewing at time i emailedher but underestimated how poorly i'd get). So as not to let her down, my dh offered to meet her on his lunch break for me. So i emailed her yesterday morning to let her know that it would be him instead of me. No reply and i had a sneaky suspicion that she would be a know show. I was right!
Anyway I emailed her again yesterday evening asking if she had a genuine reason for not showing up. A couple of hours later she replied saying she was very sorry, but her son was sick and she had taken him to the doctors ( he has a viral infection). At one point she said her phone was dead so coudn't contact me. At another point she said she didnt get internet access on her phone away from home. Which left me a bit confused as to which one it was. She then said she would pick up from my houseon thursday instead.
Now while dh was waiting there coincidentally was another woman waiting for someone to turn up with sleepsuits she had bought off them. She was set to meet them in the same place at the same time, and they too didn't turn up. Making me think it was my freecyle lady who had sold them to her. Anyway, this new lady said she would give dh a fiver for the item. Dh took her number and said if no more contact from the first lady then he would phone her and she could just have it as we were giving it away anyway.

Now Aibu to say sorry but no to the first lady ( as i just dont feel she was being totally honest) and let the second lady have it. If i haf been waiting as planned I would have given the item to the second lady there and then. But dh didn't think that was right.

What do you think? I am willing to he told that iabu becauase i feel so rough and am annoyed that dh had to waste his lunch hour on a false errand.
Thankyou

Sorry for all the typos, i am feeling rubbishly ill and not concentrating properly, u get the idea tho.

Maybe it was a combination of all of the reasons she stated:
DS was poorly, so she took him to the doctors, she couldn't get internet access on her phone to email you (or perhaps check your mobile number on her emails) then her phone died. I doubt she really set out to mess you around, otherwise she just wouldn't have been back in touch.

I think you should give her a chance to collect in on Thursday, but don't go out of your way to get it to her, it is up to her to get to you now. If she messes you around again, give the item to the other woman and leave it at that.

Not really that big of a deal is it, although a bit crappy for your DH missing his lunch break.

YANBU

Have you already agreed to her picking on thurs? If so I think you need to honour that, but otherwise yanbu

I have had quite a few no shows through freecycle which is irritating but I think happens quite a lot. I also think lots of people get stuff through freecycle and sell them on, if that bothers you then you should probably give the items to a charity shop or sell them yourself through gumtree or ebay. I think you should give her the chance to collect on thursday but in future i wouldn't agree to meet people to give over items. If they want the item they come to collect from your house if they can't then someone else gets it.

No, i haven't emailed her back yet regarding thursday, partly because I wanted to canvass opinions regarding whether to give her another chance or not, but also because if she is being honest I.doubt her child will have recovered by tomorrow.

In situations like this I tend to expect the smame sort of consideration that I would extend to other people.
I would not have troubled someone to meet me somewhere with an item they were freely giving awayand if I had to for whatever reason i would have contacted them and expressed my greatfulness for them doing so.

If it was as she says unavoidable to be a no show, then i would have made contact as soon as possible to explain and apologise.
I just think she comes across as a bit inconsiderate and there are too many coincidences in her excuse.

And yes its not a big deal in the grand scheme of things,i wont lose any sleep over it. But some manners wouldn't go amiss surely.

I would give it to the other woman.

I only give stuf away on freegle* on the understanding the person will collect from me at my convenience. I only collect from other people on the basis that I will collect from them at their convenience. Very often things are left in the porch or by the side gate if out.

If someone doesn't turn up, it goes back on offer. You can choose which person to give it to.

I always say in the ad that I would prefer to a member who gives, not just takes, and ask then to say their user name and what they have recently given (you can trawl to check if you want). Lots of them are greedy parasites who are going to sell on, or landlords hooing to furnish their nasty rentals for free. After a while you will recognise the replies.

*freegle is a UK network set up by ex-freecycle groups who were expelled by the owner of freecycle when they they suggested it should be a democratic voluntary organisation. It isn't.

Give it to the other woman.

I bloody hate being jerked around by freecyclers. I put in my offer that if you don't turn up at your appointed time, I will go straight to the list and offer to the next person.

That said, I have just had a huge Freecycle clear-out binge and 70% of the people were lovely and came when they said they would.