Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel a bit of a mug...

21 replies

ButWhyIsTheGinGone · 01/11/2011 21:28

Hi all!

A group of female friends all arranged to go to the theatre a while back (it's happening this Sat.) They didn't ask me, and I wasn't really bothered as the show they're seeing is not really my thing and I'm not hugely close to them.

Anyway - one of them has dropped out so the organiser has offered me the ticket. I dithered a bit, but she pressured me a bit saying "it'll be nice, us girls...blah blah" and I relented. (In other words couldn't come up with an excuse quick enough.) She's now announced the ticket is £30 (as it's our local small theatre I was quite surprised, but admit I don't know much about ticket prices.) Furthermore, they're gonig for a meal and drinks afterwards which will undoubtedly be another £30 or so.

Looking at my horrific finances this month I really cannot afford this. I have to tax my car and pay a couple of other bits off. How should I approach the organiser? When I said yes, I
a) naively hoped she might offer me ticket at discounted rate. I thought the original woman had paid and just dropped out.
b) didn't realise about the meal/drinks until I had said yes.
c) felt pressurized to say yes quickly. (I'm a big fat baby, yes.)
What do I dooooooooooooooo??? Is a text acceptable to explain or will I have to make the embarrassing phonecall and explain I'm skinty mcskint?

Worst thing is, I don;t even think they particularly want me to go - they just needed to fill the ticket quickly. :-(

OP posts:
Esta3GG · 01/11/2011 21:33

Why would you even consider going anywhere with people who didn't really want you there? Tell her you have changed your mind and go and spend your money in the company of people who like you.

Pancakeflipper · 01/11/2011 21:36

Just tell them that really sorry you cannot make it after all and hope they have a lovely time ( you haven't paid have you?).

onepieceofcremeegg · 01/11/2011 21:38

If you have paid already then just go to the theatre.

If you haven't paid then ring her and say that you have just realised you are busy, that's why you hesitated when she asked you and you felt pressured to answer without having chance to check your diary.

pollyblue · 01/11/2011 21:38

Noooo, don't text but do phone, offer your apologies and excuse and don't worry about it any more!

If it was a show/evening out you really wanted to go on, different matter but a) you feel a bit miffed because they didn't invite you in the first place, and b) you're not fussed about seeing the show anyway.

Don't feel obliged to go, you'll be kicking yourself when you're £60-odd down after a couple of hours out, and still have your car tax to pay.....

BarkisIsWillin · 01/11/2011 21:43

Ring and say you've just checked your diary and it clashes with your annual night for watching paint dry/paring your corns/ you promised to babysit for someone/ whatever. You are under no obligation to go.

ButWhyIsTheGinGone · 01/11/2011 21:44

Thank you!
I was going to say "that's a bit brutal" to Esta, but you're right! If they wanted me to be there, they would have invited me. :-(
Car tax is infinitely more important though, so to that end I shall just be honest.....(and definitely NOT create a fictional event I cannot get out of....)

OP posts:
ButWhyIsTheGinGone · 01/11/2011 21:45

Barkis Baah! :-D I have to see these paeople again you know!!

OP posts:
Esta3GG · 01/11/2011 21:49

Urgh sorry - didn't mean to be brutal OP -I just meant that it is lousy being treated as backup. They didn't invite you first time round - nut now they think you'll suck up the cost of the spare ticket. Stuff 'em. Grin

Esta3GG · 01/11/2011 21:50

nut now = but now.
I am a twat.

pictish · 01/11/2011 21:51

I'd tell her you've had a rethink and you can't spare the cash. Which is true.
Sod that. I'm no-ones back up plan to my own cost. Neither should you be.

BarkisIsWillin · 01/11/2011 21:57

Best stick with the truth so Grin

ButWhyIsTheGinGone · 01/11/2011 22:00

I know the truth is the best policy - but keep remembering the organiser saying "ooh good - I can stop looking (for a replacement) now."
She will not be happy!!!! Thanks for these answers, though. I shall do it tomorrow when I'm feeling less cowardly. Plus Road Wars is on...

OP posts:
grovel · 01/11/2011 22:02

Go.

And nick £60 from their bags.

betheldeath · 01/11/2011 22:16

I'm with grovel...

PartyPooperz · 01/11/2011 22:24

ButWhy Did she really say that about oh good I can stop looking now?

You accepted under duress. Just be matter of fact tomorrow and honest. If the organiser didn't mention the price of the ticket at the time, just say, really sorry but I had no idea of the price of the ticket when you asked me (ahem....your fault organiser) and it's just not possible for me this month. Good luck!

heleninahandcart · 01/11/2011 23:47

"ooh good - I can stop looking (for a replacement) now." Cheek of the woman. Call her, tell the truth and that's it.

heleninahandcart · 01/11/2011 23:48

and if she says something like 'you can pay next month' your answer is 'that doesn't work for me' and repeat Grin

manicbmc · 01/11/2011 23:58

Tell her you've had a better offer. Grin

WhereYouLeftIt · 02/11/2011 00:28

"but keep remembering the organiser saying "ooh good - I can stop looking (for a replacement) now.""
Well there's your way in then Grin! Your text should read
"Apologies you'll need to restart search for replacement. Unable to join you for theatre. Best wishes."
And having said she needs another replacement - and therefore acknowledging that you were a replacement - you need feel no qualms about not handing over any money. Because after all, neither did the original member of this clique group.

ButWhyIsTheGinGone · 02/11/2011 19:37

Well - as luck would have it, an important workshop related to my second job has popped up, and tragically it appears to be on the Saturday! Admittedly not the evening but I have got myself out of it anyway. Problem averted (though am certain I will be a bit slated!)

OP posts:
maristellathewitch · 02/11/2011 19:51

If the first person was able to cancel without paying up then you can too Grin

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread