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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think DP is being an idiot with this

61 replies

oila · 31/10/2011 21:55

My brother is staying with us as my parents are away and on Saturday he went round to a friends house. They started to watch Clockwork Orange and my brother walked out and came home because he didn't like the violence in the film. DP was incredilous at this saying that he was being oversensitive (not to his face I might add) and that his friends will probably taunt him about it. I think its fine.

OP posts:
pozzled · 31/10/2011 22:32

Not liking violence doesn't necessarily equate to being 'scared' or 'fragile'. He didn't choose to watch a violent film, that doesn't mean he can't deal with the 'big bad world'.

AnyPhantomFucker · 31/10/2011 22:36

who said her brother was "scared" ?

perhaps he was disgusted...and who could blame him ?

yes, OP, your P is being an idiot here

NorfolkBroad · 31/10/2011 22:39

Good for your brother. It is strong to be honest about something like this especially at 15. I really hate violent films (although I've never seen Clockwork Orange) so understand how he feels. Have no problem with others enjoying them though.

moikla · 31/10/2011 22:44

Good on him, I often worry about people who enjoy watching violent films where the violence is the main feature of the film.

LaFilleSurLePont · 31/10/2011 22:46

YANBU. He did the right thing. I couldn't watch it either,and I'm not squeamish or easily disturbed.

yikert · 31/10/2011 22:47

Clockwork Orange is a brilliant film and an even better book but he is young and so may not be comfortable with some of the scenes so he was right to stop watching it.

MrsBradleyJames · 31/10/2011 22:53

Well I know which of the two males in this scenario that I admire more - one who can literally stand up (and walk out!) for his opinions, and one whose first thought is "oh no his friends might be mean to him because he's dared to go against the herd"........!!!!!!

~Good on your brother, sounds like he is developing into a top bloke!

erew · 31/10/2011 22:54

YABU It is a bit antisocial, if you agree to watch a film then I think you should stay until the end even if you don't like it rather than just going back to your sisters house.

AnyPhantomFucker · 31/10/2011 22:57

it isn't anti social at all

if somebody put Deep Throat or OurAdventuresAtTheSwingersParty on their player would you feel obliged to stay ?

MrsBradleyJames · 31/10/2011 22:59

But erew Clockwork Orange has seriously violent and disturbing content including violent rape. This sensible 15 year old knew he couldn't process that and didn't want to and good for him - so what if he left early! Far better to be a 'bit antisocial' than to watch this stuff if you don't want to (and he shouldn't have been anyway, it's an 18) Are we so concerned with social norms we'd rather a 15 year old sat in front of this film when he didn't want to? dear god!

erew · 31/10/2011 23:01

I'm assuming that however many of them there were agreed to watch the film and so in my opinion just leaving is rude having already agreed to watch it.

bned · 31/10/2011 23:06

erew- Say he had stayed and watch the whole film and then had had a nightmare about it that night (a very possible scenario IMO). What would you have the OP say to him, sorry this has disturbed you but don't worry at least you weren't antisocial.

YellowDinosaur · 31/10/2011 23:07

'Well I know which of the two males in this scenario that I admire more - one who can literally stand up (and walk out!) for his opinions, and one whose first thought is "oh no his friends might be mean to him because he's dared to go against the herd"........!!!!!'

Yep, MrsBradleyJames has it spot on with the above comment.

Erew are you seriously saying that you would stay and watch something that you found so distasteful you wished to leave to avoid being antisocial? I wouldn't. I can think of a number of films (not very many granted) that I would prefer to leave than have to watch. I've walked out of films in the cinema too that I haven't liked - imho life is too short to sit through something you don't enjoy

AnyPhantomFucker · 31/10/2011 23:08

I went back after the pub recently to someones place

There was mixed company, including some teenage kids

When the hostess flicked through the telly channels and stayed on some bimbo displaying her breasts as an invitation for some sad fuck to phone her up for "sex chat" I left the building, taking my teens with me

should I have stayed and not been "antisocial"

I place films like Clockwork Orange in the same category of "no one should ever feel obliged to partake" and fuck good manners

MrsBradleyJames · 31/10/2011 23:08

what do you think about the content for a 15 year old erew? Is this what you would hope your child will one day sit through for the sake of Not Being Antisocial?

Inertia · 31/10/2011 23:10

Good on your brother for having the maturity to leave them to it when he realised it wasn't something he wanted to watch. Takes a lot of strength of character to stand up to peer pressure at that age.

And I hope your brother's friends are nicer than your DH's friends would seem to be.

mitziw · 31/10/2011 23:12

GOOD FOR HIM! its a horrible freakish film and the voices in it scare me more than anything! (i haven't even watched the whole film)

grovel · 31/10/2011 23:14

They're both right.
Your bro showed courage.
Your DP is right to be concerned about how your bro's friends might react.
I'd be proud of both of them.

flexi · 31/10/2011 23:23

Clockwork Orange is a 18 so he shouldn't be watching it anyway but if it was upsetting him then of couse he should have left.

baricade · 31/10/2011 23:26

I do see where your DP is coming from to a certain extent, if he is perceived as being soft,sensitive or squeemish then he could be ridiculed and teens can be merciless.

EllaDee · 31/10/2011 23:31

It sounds as if your brother is well able to cope like an adult. Sad that your DP can't do the same!

Isn't part of being an adult deciding what you like and don't like, what you will and won't do?

I can't stand this idea you have be into violence and 'hard' to be a proper teenage boy. My brother was as 'sensitive' as could be. That is a positive quality IMO. Now he works with homeless people including violent ex-cons and druggies and has their co-operation without even raising his voice. I doubt anyone would say he's suffered for being 'soft' - and nor will your DB.

aquashiv · 31/10/2011 23:33

I could never have watched Cloakwork Orange at 15. Its a powerful film and some of it a bit bloody disturbing. Good for your brother he knows his own mind.

MrsBradleyJames · 31/10/2011 23:34

Brilliant post, EllaDee.

EllaDee · 31/10/2011 23:37

Thanks. Smile Blush

MrsBradleyJames · 31/10/2011 23:38

and - similar with my bro! He was an extremely sensitive boy/young man. He also knew his own mind and has travelled/cycled literally half the world alone with all the self discipline and all the courage that has required - some of these 'proper' 'tougher' boys have done nothing more adventurous than work at tesco.