to be fed up with being pressured into donating to charity at work?

[lecce]

I teach and this year, as last, the pressure to donate (our school takes part in the shoebox appeal) is great. I am starting to seriously dislike the sense of competition that my school fosters over this. Classes are pitted against one another, with prizes offered to those who have brought the most shoeboxes. Yet isn't this detracting from the idea that you donate for altruistic reasons, or at least for the sense of smugness warm glow that giving engenders? I feel very sorry for the, several, children whose familes cannot afford to contribute much, or, worse, whose parents are not interested in anything to do with school and will not get involved at all. As a teacher, I resent the pressure to bring in loads of stuff myself to 'set a good example' and the implication that if my class do not bring in much it is somehow my fault for not inspiring them by spending a fortune on it myself.

I already support a couple of charities by direct debit every month as well as extras like regular copies of The Big Issue and stuff like ds's Harvest assembley, and, at the moment, we really can't afford to do much more than that. I have no objection to doing one shoebox but, at my school, that will not be considered enough.

But that is not it. The sixth form are currently planning a trip overseas to help build a school in a disadvantaged country. They have to raise money first and I have lost count of the number of times I have been disturbed during lessons to donate money to that cause. Last week, I felt, was the last straw as we were informed that it would be a good idea to donate a specified amount as an alternative to giving each other Christmas cards. Apparantly, a record will be kept of those who contribute and a list of names put up for all to see

I hate being told what charity to support, how much I should be contributing and I really don't see why a list needs to be put up unless it is to shame people into contributing. I feel this is completely unfair. Moreover, I thought teenagers wanting to take part in this sort of activity were supposed to do something for the money, not just ask people for it .

Disclaimer: I have a lot of time for our 6th formers, but feel they are being badly advised here and am hating feeling the pressure to donate at my school at the moment.

AIBU

YANBU, I would feel the same. And I totally agree about the teenagers that they should be doing something for money, not just pestering people for it. Perhaps speak to the head of sixth form and say that you feel it's unfair that lessons are being disturbed.

With regards to the Xmas cards, I would just do whatever you would like to do and not worry about the list at all. Stick to your guns and don't worry about what others think.

That all sounds ghastly!

Charity should be a personal decision, not a forced issue. I would take great exception to the naming and shaming, and I also think that pitting classes against each other for prizes with the shoeboxes is disgraceful.

I can't see how it can be combatted though. Do any of your co leagues feel the same? If enough of you went to the head with your concerns I would assume they would at least have to pretend to listen and come to some sort of resolution?

Good luck.

Blimey, I would be livid. Charitable giving is a completely personal choice and noone should be made to feel bad or singled out for what they do or don't give.

How do the parents feel? I get really tired of the constant requests for money from our school in one form or another, maybe your parents feel the same? Is it worth doing a straw poll and then tackling the head, saying 'some of our parents feel very pressured, should we rethink this approach'?

I mean the parents of the school children obviously, not your parents. D'oh.

If that was the case I'd opt out of giving at school altogether and explain that you preferred your charitable giving to be kept separate from your professional activities.

You get it twice as well, as a parent and a teacher.

YANBU. At all, in the slightest. I would refuse to give any more at work (no favourites or complicated exceptions that way), and if anyone tries to guilt trip you, just remind yourself of the things that you already do.
It's well out of order, what you've described.

Charity mu66ers, tell them to f off, and comeback and fill us in.

Please teach your class not to bow to emotional blackmail or to community expectation.

If you teach in the state sector, tell them as you've had a pay freeze, you can't afford it.

YANBU. Say that the Christmas spirit is to give an amount privately and without letting others know, and that's what you'd prefer to encourage.

Matthew 6:1-4
"Be careful not to do your 'acts of righteousness' before men, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven. "So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."