AIBU to feel like a big meany?

[LadyEvenstarsCoven]

DS1 and DS2 have been sods all day and I kept warning them if they didn't stop there would be no trick or treating tonight.

Well it is now 7.30 and I didn't take them

BUT I feel so mean!!! should I get them ready and go on my road with them.
DS2 tbh has just been copying DS1.

You really shouldn't warn them and not carry it through. Are they really upset? If so, is there someway they could "earn" back the T or Ting? "Get your bedroom tidy in 15 minutes and we can go" sort of thing.

what is the point of issuing consequences if you are not prepared to follow-through?

this is basic parenting

NO!!!!!! Stand your ground. Next time you need to threaten them they'll be more inclined to take you seriously if they know you'll follow through. And remember, You gotta be cruel to be kind!! Want nice teenagers? It starts here! Good luck.

Sorry, just re-read my post and realised I sound like a patronising cow! Not intentional, sorry. [hblush]

its horrible to feel guilty but you did warn them if they carried on they wouldnt go trick or treating

I wouldnt take them

Stick with the punishment.

DS1 ( with aspergers) is 13yrs old DS2 is 4yrs old.

DS2 is currently picking all his toys up and telling me he is "Ahaving now mummy so we can go out for just 29 minutes"

DS1 is still being a so n so

Don't feel bad, you warned them what the consequences were but they obviously thought you'd be a mug and take them anyway. Stand firm and they'll pay a bit more attention to your threats in future. Besides, I think 7.30 is a bit late for trick or treating.

stand your ground. You'll be glad you did.

Happy if only it was round here!!!!!

I'd take the little one and leave the big one at home.

Fabby thats what i am wavering on atm

I mean he only wants "29 minutes" [hwink]

Stand your ground.

Even more important with someone on the spectrum!

You can alleviate the guilt (which you don't need to feel, discpline = good parenting imo) by cooking their favourite tea or letting them watch their favourite dvd or something tomorrow

I just feel really bad for DS2 as he is so young and see's DS1 acting up. Being 4 he thinks its funny fuelling DS1 to act worse and then DS2 copies.

That probably sounds mean of me to say

Take the littlun out lol
Bless him

Kay, but only for his limited time eh

Ooh take the little guy out, 29 minutes is nothi g and he is behaving after all. ;)

It's not mean, and it's unfortunately a lesson your DS2 will have to learn - winding his big brother up is not ok

Not mean IMO - DS has been out with my friend and I and her DD's and had his sweets taken off him as we walked through the front door for saying something completely unacceptable. No warning nothing as he's been told before about saying it.

And I think he knows he's been a git because he didn't even try and argue with me.

IMO as well DS2 has to learn winding DS1 up is not OK or funny - at 4 he's old enough to learn it.

Purple, I didn;t mean he was winding him up that was my bad typing.

DS1 does things which make DS2 laugh - he is just 4. Then DS1 gets very hyper and acts worse.

Ah, ok. I would still suggest sticking with the consequence for tonight then being a bit nice tomorrow, though. Is DS2 in school, or could he have a little treat when DS1 isn't about tomorrow?

Sorry I popped to the shop and took pup for a walk.

DS2 is at school half day so I will treat him in the morning.

Technically, you've followed through on your consequence. No harm in going over-board on treating him for being "such a good boy" when he has and finding any tenuous link to go to the cafe for sticky buns

Purple - if I didn't take him to the cafe for his "Mato soup with cheese and real (crusty) bread" before school he would be heartbroken. Its become a bit of a tradition with him and I

You need a breadmaker for Christmas then you can have "real" bread every day can you tell i'm a convert?