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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think that kids scary nursery rhymes etc. are no big freakin deal?

27 replies

lottielou39 · 31/10/2011 16:04

So, (seeing as it's Halloween) I was remembering something dd's teacher said at her parents evening last week. She said that one of the boys had started something called 'Bloody Mary' which basically involves the kids looking into a mirror, saying Bloody Mary 3 times and then she is supposed to appear, (bloody mary, that is!).
Now dd (aged 8) told me about this a few weeks ago; the girls had been doing this in the girls loo. I laughed at the time and thought it was a bit daft and silly, but no great shakes. It was brought up at parents evening as if it was a darkly sinister thing to do- teacher said 'I spoke to the children sternly about it and told them that they must not do it; I've spoken to all the parents about it tonight, etc.' (I guess the more sensitive members of the class were scared)- but AIBU to think this is kids being kids and what all kids do and no freakin big deal, or should I have told my daughter off sternly instead of laughing about it like a slack parent?

OP posts:
Popbiscuit · 31/10/2011 16:06

YANBU. Didn't we all do this at school at that age? For Heaven's sake.

MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 31/10/2011 16:08

It's dark because it comes along with tales of murder...and horrible things. I wouldn't want my sensitive 7 year old exposed to that kind of thing....it's normal tosome extent but for older kids...Bloody Mary is NOT a "nurery rhyme" it is a kind of incantation. Very different.

YABU

Original poster
lottielou39 · 31/10/2011 16:10

seriously?
I've just googled it for the first time:
'Bloody Mary is a ghost or witch featured in English folklore. She is said to appear in a mirror when her name is called three times or sometimes more while in a dark room, depending upon the version of the story, often as part of a game or dare.

OP posts:
Original poster
lottielou39 · 31/10/2011 16:12

and the longer extended aspects of the original folklore- well, I doubt most kids would be familiar with it. But maybe we should ban them from Grimm's Fairy Tales too? I can't think of anything worse than Hansel and Gretel, (parent deliberately loses his kids in the dark woods, leaves them to the mercy of an evil witch who fattens them up ready to eat ?)

OP posts:
MrBloomsNursery · 31/10/2011 16:13

Grin We used to do this when we were children...seriously, do they really think Bloody Mary will come out of the mirror and get them??!

This is another one of those things, where children aren't allowed to have fun anymore. Bloody hell, just let them be. Stupid teachers.

pozzled · 31/10/2011 16:13

YANBU. Laughing shows it to be a silly, childish game. Telling children off and forbidding it almost makes it seem as though the teacher believes it, as though it could be dangerous.

Original poster
lottielou39 · 31/10/2011 16:41

that's what I think pozzled; the teacher made a big deal out of it,instead of laughing it off, thus making kids feel that it really was a scary thing to do!

OP posts:
Popbiscuit · 31/10/2011 17:08

Grin at "could be dangerous".

catgirl1976 · 31/10/2011 17:10

Its on the trailer for the new Paranormal Activity film, which I suspect is the cause of it cropping up.

But we did it as children........surprised the teacher made a big issue out of it.

LadyEvilEyes · 31/10/2011 17:11

I would imagine parents of the more 'sensitive' children may have complained.
We has seances when I was about 10, they were scary but fun at the same time.

ZeldaUpNorth · 31/10/2011 17:15

We used to say it was "Belinda" 3 times. Cue 20 odd years later and her from Big Brother called Belinda bringing back "scary" memories as she used to say her name 3 times lol

Original poster
lottielou39 · 31/10/2011 17:15

yes LadyEvilEyes, I suspect this happens a lot. (fun being curtailed by complaining parents)

OP posts:
mumwithdice · 31/10/2011 17:15

We did this as children all the time. And half the fun for me was scaring myself silly. You get a nice little adrenalin rush [hsmile].

MsGee · 31/10/2011 17:28

Hmmm, agree with everyone but when we did this at school you were supposed to die too.It might sound wet but I'm now really scared of mirrors in the dark and the words Mary Black come into my head when i see one and I get very scared. Can't have mirrors in the bedroom etc in case I look at one in the dark.

I probably sound very daft but it feels very real as a fear. Blush

DownbytheRiverside · 31/10/2011 17:31

I blame over-sensitive parents and the Cottonwool Society.
There's always someone ready to complain about something. Grin
You may well have been able to laugh about your naughty little minx OP, but the teacher would have been hung out to dry if they were seen to be dismissive of a potentially scary situation by parents of sensitive children.

DownbytheRiverside · 31/10/2011 17:32

Is Bloody Mary a reference to Mary Tudor?

DownbytheRiverside · 31/10/2011 17:34

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bloody_Mary_(folklore)
Very gruesome!

MrSpoc · 31/10/2011 17:38

we used to say white lady three times or white mary.

Original poster
lottielou39 · 31/10/2011 17:39

'You may well have been able to laugh about your naughty little minx OP, but the teacher would have been hung out to dry if they were seen to be dismissive of a potentially scary situation by parents of sensitive children.'
DownByTheRiverside, how very very true!!!

OP posts:
hockeyforjockeys · 31/10/2011 17:45

YABU. I'm a Key Stage 2 teacher and the Bloody Mary thing comes around fairly regularly. It is an absolute pain in the backside as it causes mass hysteria with children refusing to go into toilets etc. Most kids are like you describe, realise it is probably not true and just enjoy feeling scared in a safe way. However some take it really seriously and can get very upset. You often also end up with a situation where younger children (i.e. reception/year 1) get told and become scared of using the toilets at school.

I wouldn't handle it in the same way as this teacher, but I do tell children to not do it because of the reasons above. It does lead to some ridiculous conversations e.g:

Me - Bloody Mary is just a myth made up to scare people.
Child - No it isn't, John saw her!
Me - Well John isn't telling the truth.
Child - Yes he is, he swore on his mother's life!
Me - No, he still isn't telling the truth.
Repeat at least 10 times, on a yearly cycle.

Original poster
lottielou39 · 31/10/2011 17:56

fair enough, but I don't think it's a subject which needs to be raised at parents evening really. At our recent parents evening, we spent about 10 mins discussing stuff like this and about 2 mins discussing academic progess; was a bit of a farce to be honest.

OP posts:
hockeyforjockeys · 31/10/2011 18:01

You're right about parents evening. I would only raise it if I had one or two kids who were constantly going on about it and it was causing issues in the class, and I would only mention it to the parents of the culprits!

JamieComeHome · 31/10/2011 18:02

YANBU. It's political correctness gorn mad.

Seriously, MrBloom - have you not met any children? They do believe daft things like that people come out of mirrors

Original poster
lottielou39 · 31/10/2011 18:05

when I was eight (in 1981) I remember my teacher telling us all very scary stories one Halloween, including the story of an evil dentist- was horrible! Before he started, he asked anyone who was scared to leave the classroom and go to the library for a few minutes! Needless to say, nobody did. (leave the room). How times have changed.

OP posts:
JamieComeHome · 31/10/2011 18:06

Oh yes! where are the great teachers like that

Mt Williams, who used to throw blackboard rubbers!

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