To find these labels really silly?

[Clawdy]

Hate these silly labels on clothes saying things like "You found me!" or "Please wash me with care". I bought a cardigan from John Lewis this morning with a label that said "I am prone to a bit of pilling"!! Try saying it in a broad Northern accent,it's hilarious!

That's White Stuff isn't it - you either love their 'quirky' humour or you don't - I don't and doesn't sound like you do either!

I have no clothes that talk to me. I would like that. I feel bereft. :(

Today's top could say 'Dear Stratters, you could do with a vest top underneath me otherwise you are going to show too much norkage'

Yesterday's jeans would have said 'Leave me and the chocolate alone, fatty'.

YANBU.

Although it does lead me to thinking the words 'fuck off, cardie' in my head, which amuses me.

They are probably aimed at a higher class market than me

if you could write your own labels, would that be better?

as in 'i'm a white top, don't be a fuckwitt and wear me while you eat spaghetti' and 'are you sure this isn't the same as you mother's'?

Own labels would be great.

'You've already faded me to great, you nob, bung me in the machine with whatever'

'CAUTION: only for use in case of time travel invention when you can go back and be 17 again'

'Nice jeans, shame about the annoying zipper'

'Back off, wide load'

Grey, even...

edit buttons now, please, thanks.

Label on dress

Warning: if you are over a D cup you should probably wear a top under me.

'Back off, wide load' [hgrin]

'No, I haven't shrunk in the wash. You've been at the hob nobs again, haven't you?'

"baa baa, yes that's right Stella you look mutton"

"There is zero point in wearing me as I'm a light colour and you drop food down your tits"

I feel your pain Laurie, I still need a bib really. You can chart the day's progress by the food down my front.

Glad it's not just me whose boobs attract more food than glances these days!

'No, toothpaste doesn't wash out of me easily either. Just like all the other black clothes you own'

You know I belong to your sister so give me back please because she's slimmer and younger and I look better on her

"Yes, buy me, your other 37 black tops need new company"
"Beware, there is enough acrylic in me to self-combust"
"I might be cheap because I am on sale but I am still orange and tight and you know perfectly you will never wear me"
"Didn't you notice I AM A SIZE TEN!"

'i'm not the same as the one in the other shop, i've got 'zero' missing from the price tag for a start'

Jeans: "please just let me die quietly. I'm more hole than denim"

Bra: "just fucking buy another nursing bra woman. I am giving way under the weight"

[poor emoticon]

Why do you always insist on wearing me with those trousers? I'll have you know my sequins were sewn on by hand and I deserve better than Florence and Fred tat.

Dh found a label stuck in by tescos that said "remove before microwaving".

It was a can of deodrant.

Most of my clothes would benefit from a label saying "i looked better on you before you put on weight!"

"Dont buy me to "fit into", we both know it's never going to happen, you wil lget depressed, raid the cookie jar and where does that leave us? Just buy the damn cookies instead"

I had a t-shirt that I looooved as a teenager it said:
"Don't be naughty, wash at forty
Tumble dry, but not too high
Do not bleach me
Or dry clean me
Wear me well
Thank you

Goodbye"

Oustanding.

I quite like the idea of guidance labels as someone who has often dressed in the wrong clothes ie very short mini skirt for job interview many moons ago, I did get the job but only because the perv director that interviewed me had a thing for much younger women

anyway I digress my suggestions are;

such as in miniscule leather skirt suitable for date with bf unsuitable for lunch with bf parents

long floral skirt perfect for lunch with bf parents not suitable if trying to pull/get laid

padded underwired bra perfect for giving impression of perky good sized norks in low cut top unsuitable for breastfeeding

thong suitable for small pert arse unsuitable and rather scary for wide lardy
arse

for me i think it would be "wouldn't you be better off with a higher neckline as you do tend to drop a bit of food from each mouthful into your cleavage" or "elasticated waist - perfect for you, tubby"

though i think the odd "wow, yes of course this makes you look like a size 10" would be nice, but i suspect on the reverse side of the label it would read "fooled you, chunky bum!"